Logically, please explain why we must not cry when others are around
By vanny
@vandana7 (100303)
India
July 7, 2023 12:59am CST
I can understand holding back anger. It vitiates the environment.
But when tears well up, why must we not let them flow?
Agreed we don't look good when we are crying. And we need to blow our nose which is unpleasant too. But we are not asking others to do that for us. We are just being ourselves, and in pain.
Where is the freedom if we cannot express even our pain. And does bottling up pain really help? Does it affect our personality in good or bad ways?
We are allowed to share happiness, we are allowed to share so many useless things like Musk does every other day. We are allowed to share fears. Why are we to hold back tears of pain?
This is an inspired discussion from AmbiePam's post.
19 people like this
18 responses
@stapllotik (1933)
• India
7 Jul 23
I've cried after watching that Courtney's video.
. Seriously you have too much burden .
On a serious note, shedding tears is a natural and healthy way to release emotional tension. Just as laughter brings relief and joy, tears serve as a cathartic release for our pain and sadness.
A big shout out to @AmbiePam
. Seriously you have too much burden .
On a serious note, shedding tears is a natural and healthy way to release emotional tension. Just as laughter brings relief and joy, tears serve as a cathartic release for our pain and sadness.
A big shout out to @AmbiePam3 people like this
@stapllotik (1933)
• India
7 Jul 23
@vandana7 I've no other choice but to like your comment
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37571)
•
7 Jul 23
I never understood why so many men are taught that tears are a sign of weakness. It's not. It's a sign you are human, and have deep feelings.
Sometimes, a person just cannot hold back tears.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100303)
• India
8 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle I know...when we internalize pain, we actually destroy the person's abilities to enjoy something. Then we have to be careful about that something with the person.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37571)
•
7 Jul 23
@vandana7
It's good to just let it out, and it's healthy.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
7 Jul 23
I will cry if I want or need to, but mostly do not because it makes me vulnerable. On a different note I hope you had a happy birthday.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (92856)
• United States
7 Jul 23
I am blessed to have one friend who would let me cry my heart out because she knows I can’t stop any tears once they start. But, my dad, as much as I love him, kind of encouraged my sister and I to save our tears for privacy. Unfortunately, I am physically unable to control when they come, or how long they stay. My mom encouraged me to let the pain flow free, but perhaps the “tough it out” mentality comes from adopting the male point of view.
2 people like this
@marguicha (223110)
• Chile
7 Jul 23
I am a person that does not hold back tears. For me, there´s no reason to do so.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100303)
• India
30 Jul 23
I am inclined to think that holding back emotions makes us high strung leading to unnecessary squabbles. At the best, neglectful of other issues of less importance that could lead to annoying results later on. Therefore, crying helps to kinda clean that brain.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55664)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Jul 23
The superficial part of me says I don't want my eyeliner to run 
.
The other part of me just don't want to. It's weird, but when I was about 5 years old, I promised myself I would not cry in front of my parents anymore - not ever. And I didn't. I am not sure why, but surely it was a pride thing and not to show weakness.
Otherwise, I have cried in private - all alone. In my older adult life, I cannot even cry . . . it is as if I have no energy to do so anymore.
.
The other part of me just don't want to. It's weird, but when I was about 5 years old, I promised myself I would not cry in front of my parents anymore - not ever. And I didn't. I am not sure why, but surely it was a pride thing and not to show weakness.
Otherwise, I have cried in private - all alone. In my older adult life, I cannot even cry . . . it is as if I have no energy to do so anymore.1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100303)
• India
30 Jul 23
My tears have kinda dried out. I no longer feel like crying. I still do cry when I watch some sad things or read about them. But I tend to stand up for me now. I am better equipped with language and more articulate to reason. In a way, emotions I feel at the moment, don't overwhelm me to run short of words. I guess that is what is maturity.
Personally, I believe crying is a good way to feel relief just like holding back that poop or pee is no fun. Unlike pooping and peeing, crying is ok...it is not accompanied by any stink.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55664)
• Los Angeles, California
30 Jul 23
@vandana7 Dried out - yes, I guess it does feel like that. I too believe it good to "let it out" - a good cry can relieve stress. But for some reason I can't even try to do that - it's just not there (unlike poop/pee where your internals make you feel like you have no choice 
).
But I can cry when watching a sad moment in a movie. Or when singing a song where a certain lyric chokes me up for whatever reason. Sometimes I guess it's good - at least to know that the tear ducts are working 
.
).
But I can cry when watching a sad moment in a movie. Or when singing a song where a certain lyric chokes me up for whatever reason. Sometimes I guess it's good - at least to know that the tear ducts are working .1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
7 Jul 23
From what I understood in my childhood, crying is a sign of weakness. Makes you look weak and vulnerable. That's why people don't cry in public, not because they don't want to look ugly, but because they don't want to show others they're weak.
I used to hold back my tears in public when I was a kid. But as I grew older, I realized I didn't have to. I don't see tears as a sign of weakness. In fact I admire men who are never ashamed to cry in public. For me, they are courageous.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106428)
• Marion, Ohio
7 Jul 23
Crying can be good for us and we should not be ashamed of it
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100303)
• India
30 Jul 23
I have held this belief forever. We are bound to be overwhelmed by emotions ..love for self and recognition of pain. Unfortunately, in such a case, we also run short of the right words...crying can provide that relief so that we can be more articulate and express why we are hurt. I do believe most people would be kind and considerate if they understood why we are hurting, or reflect and express what their reasoning was when they reacted in a way that hurt us. But simultaneously holding back tears, and still fighting for what we believe in ...cannot help us to concentrate completely. We would be all over the place in expressing ourselves. That definitely does not help.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (79932)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
7 Jul 23
I see no reason to not to cry when things get tough even if there are other people around,
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100303)
• India
8 Jul 23
I don't know why crying is seemed as vulnerability. It is more a cry to others around ...hey I am hurting, help, if you can. Someday I will return favor. But I agree that it should be on legitimate grounds. Crying only to get others to agree to us is not ok.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (178877)
• United States
7 Jul 23
First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope it's great. I always cry. I don't hold back. It stuffs me up and gives me a headache though. Enjoy your day!
1 person likes this
@Aansh13 (11362)
• New Delhi, India
7 Jul 23
So, I think people taught and also brought in a way that says " You must not cry anywhere or everywhere"
But, human emotions are hell complicated and there is no righteous way when it comes to it.
I personally share, anger, frustration, pain and all emotions around... Because,,, If I have them I am living an emotionally fulfilled life... I never hold back
1 person likes this
@cherigucchi (14876)
• Philippines
7 Jul 23
We have our reasons for not crying in public may be because we are not comfortable being seen by other people in our lowest state
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23405)
• United Kingdom
7 Jul 23
It very much depends on the situation. I could not handle staff when they were crying as l hate to see a woman cry. It cuts right through my heart. I think people should be able to express their feelings rather than suppress them as it can invoke problems in the future!
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100303)
• India
7 Jul 23
I so much agree with this. If I had to put up a brave face, I would get depressed. Crying possibly prevents that. And when there is too much of suppression of pain, I feel a person becomes, if I could do it, why can't you...what is the big deal about your pain type of personality. They don't realize that they are belittling themselves when they think like that. If I could do it ..means...I am so useless, you are better than I. Inflicting pain also may come easier to such people. But I am not sure.
