Is marriage a necessity? Many youngsters ask today.
@aninditasen (16397)
Raurkela, India
July 8, 2023 9:49am CST
Many youngsters like my elder son question me - Is marriage a necessity when a person is happy with his or her present situation? To be frank I am really in a dilemma what to answer, in a positive note or a negative note.
If I go to my young days I very much wanted to make a career and become financially independent and think of marriage, but thinks went totally in the opposite direction. My parents got me married at 23plus and I could start with a job only when my younger son was 2 years old but I could stick to a well paid government job just because my children were too young and needed my attention.
Till today I lament that had I got this job before marriage my life would have been something different. After that I did get jobs as a teacher but the payment was not that attractive.
Now most young woman get into a job soon after their education and some even have the capacity to run a family. Men as usual in India are bound to do a job but as divorces and court litigation are increasing in India many young men as well as some women too think marriage shouldn't be a necessity in life as most Indian parents think. Most of us Indian parents want our children to get married, especially sons once they get a job. First the women parents don't wait for her job till today and get her married once she is in her 20s.
Seeing relationship getting sour very soon after marriage and the endless demands of some young men and women without taking into consideration the nature of the boy or the girl, I think I should agree with these young people and leave the decision of marriage to them. If a person finds peace in his or her solitude or present condition of living I think we Indian parents shouldn't pester them to get married. The saying in India " Get married and settle down in life " has now no meaning when a marriage fails or is a disaster. Our children blame the parents for the whole thing if it's an arranged marriage.
8 people like this
8 responses
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
9 Jul 23
@aninditasen the marriage is only a ceremony. What matters is the relationship between the man and the woman.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
9 Jul 23
So you agree to what my son says. Why?
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
10 Jul 23
@allen0187 I agree to that but some men like my son say they don't need a wife at all they are happy alone.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (92789)
• United States
8 Jul 23
I’m 42, have never been married, nor do I have children. I’m actually happy, and I have always heard “don’t try to get happier than happy”. So, I’m not actively trying to find someone to marry right now, but I certainly hope it is in my future. I come from a long line of happy marriages (certainly not perfect, but happy), and I would like to experience that for myself. My late mother got married very young, but I asked her once if she ever regretted missing out on so much having been committed to a husband and kids. She said she regretted absolutely nothing, and thought everything in her life worked out exactly as it should. In the end, what she had with a family usurped anything others thought she missed out on.
Something I don’t think young people consider nowadays, is getting old. Their minds just don’t seem to go that far in the future. When we’re old and single, have they considered what it will be like to be truly alone? Our friends might have a family to care and visit them. They might have kids to make sure they don’t become forgotten and neglected. I don’t want to end up in a pathetic nursing home with no visitors to show me love. That sounds like a miserable way to end what I thought was a full life.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
9 Jul 23
That's what some youngsters say today that being alone in life is less painful than having people around you who don't care for you when you are old. This situation is increasing in India.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
11 Jul 23
@AnneW21 I am married and spent 34 years with him and am happy to have two caring sons and a naughty puppy.
@Bhurishrava (696)
• India
25 Aug
It depends on the individual. There need not even be a reason why a person does not want to get married.
When a man and woman are compatible and naturally caring for one another, then they can think of marriage.
In ancient days also, I don't think marriage was a necessity. Meerabai, Akkamahadevi did not get married. In my family, my grandfather's brother remained unmarried. My grandmother's two Aunts were unmarried.
Unfortunately, unmarried ones have a tough time in society . People keep advising to get married. Keep asking unnecessary questions. So some unmarried ones isolate themselves from social life. They keep away from others as much as possible. They live in seclusion .
At present celibacy increase because women do not want to live like a slave in husband's house and men do not want a woman who is not willing to be a slave. Yes, other factors are there such as the fear of divorce and alimony, fear of false dowry cases. For women, the fear of getting molested by father in law brothers in law etc can be there.
Also the unwillingness of having a child because kids today are highly expensive. The ever increasing college and school fees , the addiction of today's kids towards mobile phones which can drive parents nuts, the tension and stress in education all these factors lead to the decision of not getting married.
Celibacy seems to be a better preference.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
26 Aug
Mirabai did get married to King Rana and later took sanyas.
@rebelann (112875)
• El Paso, Texas
8 Jul 23
I agree with you, the decision should be up to the people concerned not the parents. But if you have a daughter you might caution her about having children if they are working, where I live I have seen far too many grandparents providing care for their grandchildren so their daughters can have a career and it makes me glad that I opted not to have children because I did not want to marry and having children was not a good idea as a single woman who had to work.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
9 Jul 23
I agree. If you don't have someone to look after the children, making a career with children is next to impossible.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (89873)
• Arvada, Colorado
11 Jul 23
I used to think it was..but these days they have other ideas.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (89873)
• Arvada, Colorado
12 Jul 23
@aninditasen Yes many and that is the same here now.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
11 Jul 23
The reason nowadays is nothing but marriage has become a matter of convenience which some youngsters both boys and girls are not ready to accept. No doubt so many singles in India.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
13 Jul 23
@RebeccasFarm It will until both understand that marriage is sharing and not convenience.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137259)
• United States
8 Jul 23
My Indian little brother and his parents have been fighting about him getting married. He doesn't want to and they keep trying to find a wife for him... I think it should be up to the young person how they want their life to be. Forcing them to get married isn't the way to live and be happy.
I have been divorced twice and am much happier not being married. But, I wouldn't give up my daughter for all the money in the world, either.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137259)
• United States
9 Jul 23
@aninditasen My little brother has a sister getting married in the next year. He told me that his mom may agree to let him remain single. I'm not sure that she will but if that's what he wants, I hope he's always happy.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
10 Jul 23
@DaddyEvil I did wish my son remains happy but I don't know how far it will be after I am gone.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
9 Jul 23
This is the situation in most Indian houses. I have been after my son to get married since he was 27. At first he agreed but for some reason he later said he didn't want to get married and therefore I am quiet now. If he is happy as a single let him be.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
9 Jul 23
It the same case with love marriage. No doubt we say in India that marital happiness is a matter of luck. All don't get it.
1 person likes this
@Butterfingers (66583)
• India
10 Jul 23
Even I am confused now looking at the explanation
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
11 Jul 23
You need not be confused. You know what you want in life. If you think you should get married then you should.
1 person likes this
