I Just Want to be Happy

You are going to need to find the time to visit a doctor. It's necessary at this point. And, from what I read, you don't get schizophrenia from having a lot of anxiety, although I can understand that fear. Nothing will get better until you take care of yourself, and I know to help your family, you need to help yourself. The longer you suffer like this, the more the chance of something bad happening goes up. Give yourself one less worry by speaking to a professional. You are important, and you need assistance right now.

You need to go to the doctor. There are good medicines available for depression and anxiety, they will advise you. The back and forth sad/angry feelings are an indication that you need to go to the doctor. Please do that for yourself, Chris.

Schizophrenia does run in some families. My friend sister and brother both had it. Her sister would get on all fours and bark at the mailman. The mailman would not deliver to their house anymore. Doctors do not know enough about it to really say. They are learning more every day. Hopefully you are just depressed and need to spend some time by yourself if you can.

I can relate to your problem. I do look at videos on You Tube stating that faith in God above by praying that He will find a way for you to deal with your sadness is to talk to Him and leave your anxiety with Him.

Meds would probably help you; and I'm surprised that you're not open to them. Have you seen a doctor lately? Extreme anxiety will not lead to schizophrenia. Take a deep breath and go see a doctor.