Do I have to let him be a dad??

You are under no obligation to keep him in yours or the childs life if A.) you feel you cannot trust him and B.) he isn't willing to support you in ALL ways, including financially. It's extreamly tough to raise a child and keep care of t, but it's even tougher when you have to deal with an irresponsible "parent" who is only willing to support you through the fun parts and leaves you to do all the hard parts and pay the bills. You don't need that, and since it seems like he's not actually trying to be a part of it, then you don't have to do it. I say look for someone who loves both you and your to-be child and is willing to support you both through the good and bad. Thats the kind of person and father you and the baby deserve.

Well it sounds like to me he isn't that interested in the child's life. As a father he does have a legal right to see the child and if you kept the child from him, he could take you to court but it sounds like he's not making any kind of attempt to see how you are doing OR going to appointments with you to the hospital. I'd tell him the door is always open to see his child whether he does that or not, you can't be sure of. Just focus on yourself and your unborn baby right now. I do have a problem though with him NOT wanting to pay for a child support. You didn't bring this baby into the world by yourself. Are you supposed to financially care for this baby all on your own? No and you don't have to either. He's legally responsible to take care child support payments as long as you can prove he is the father. Good luck!

He is the father of this child,like it or not.He does have some rights.Even though he doesn't seem particularly interested at the moment he may change his mind closer to the birth.As for child support he is not going to have any choice in the matter,he has to be financially responible for his child.If he wants visitation rights then you may have no choice in it unless you think your child may be in danger spending time with him.In which case you may have to get the courts involved.I would just wait and see what develops between now and when your child is born.Good luck!

Do you want your life to be full of conflict, legal confrontations, and interference with any future relationships you have? When I met my first wife she had a 1 yr old boy. She was 15 when he was born. The father was told and for the next 13 years there were legal hassles (costly ones) harassment, resentment, schedule disruptions, fights, etc. We hated eachother, he was extremely unreasonable. So was I. Now my step-son thinks of me as his true father because I was the one who loved him, cared for him, protected him, taught him. And he hates his real father because he would only harass and interfere. Now does this happen all the time? no, but Im guessing its far more frequent than everything going right.

It isn't illegal if he doesnt attempt to be a part of the babys life but if he wants to be there and pay child support then he will have the right to see the baby

irrespective of whether you want to get back with him or not, you shouold share your responsibility with him and not let him go scotfree. but then if you feel that he is going to be a bad influence in your baby's life, and if you have confidence that you can pull through this on your own then go ahead, my best wishes are with you.

that baby is yours and his, u should let him be a dad, u dont know if hes going to be a good one or not. in case his not, then u take the baby away from him. he came to u, he should also help u with money though.

I have been in this situation before and the man said he would take care of me and he never did. if you feel he would be a bad influence on the child and you think you can make it with out his income or child support leave him off the birth certificate. I know my life would have been a lot easier. In fact thats the only thing i honestly regret in my life. A lot of people will say you both knew the risks when you laid down but the truth is stuff happens. your mission now is to take care of the child. If you need the child support them the court will make him pay it but if he pays child support he has rights to that child too. if you leave him off and later he really wants to be a dad he can go PAY for a paternity test and then go thru it that way. I dont know if you have a good family support group or not i know i didnt. Anyway all i have to say is do what you think is best for the baby and dont worry about what other people think of you. its not there consern and in a country where the divorce rate is so high and there are so many single parents no one is going to think ill of you taking care of you son or daughter. remember its your childs life you are thinkging about not whats good for the dad.

You don't 'owe' him anything, but the fact is that he is still going to be the father of the child. Whether he plans to be a true father in his actions or merely by the act of sperm donation is up to him. Don't fall for that crap about wanting to be a father but not pay child support. If he is a real man he wouldn't care about having to pay, he would want to do all that and then some to make sure his child comes up in the best way possible. Get his SSN and start working on that NOW, trust me I have seen too many of my friends go through this. If really wants to be a good father he will be. Always give him the opportunity. Your child will grow up seeing what his/her father will or won't do, and will be able to see for themselves what type of man he is and if he chose to take the active role. Take the high road BUT GET THAT CHILD SUPPORT! Raising a kid isn't easy, financially or emotionally. Good luck.

I know EXACTLY how you feel and sadly some guys seem to think its okay to put their head in the sand regarding pregnancy and only deal with it when it suits them. As for that "wants to be there, but not have to pay child support" I really wish I could visit the planet that he lives on. People like him are the reason that other poor parents get dragged into you court and ordered to pay child support even though they would have done it on their own BECAUSE there are those guys and girls who just think they shouldn't have to do anything for their child unless they have the extra money. Anyway if he is already not trying to contact you just go on with your life and after the baby is born if he wants to be around the baby ask him about buying clothes, pampers, formula, and things like that for the baby since he isn't paying support. Those things are just as helpful as cold hard cash and some people are more comfortable doing that because they know their baby is actually getting the use of it and don't have to stress about giving someone money that may or may not end up being used on the child. If he just wants to be a punk just take him to court for child support and try to get custody with set visiation and once again, go on with your life.

What exactly does wanting to be there but not have to pay child support mean anyway? That sounds like my kids when they say they don't want their supper but are happy to eat ice cream. If I were in your shoes, I would decide what you want in this situation. I really don't think he should have any rights to the baby if he isn't paying child support. You are well in your rights to push the child support issue but then you will have involvement with him for 18 years. I hope you have some responsible loving family members that can help to guide you. If not, you might want to get some counselling from somewhere on the best way to procede.

I have two kids and both have different fathers and I am not with either of them. My oldest child's father lives five states away and we work out times every other month or so where one of us goes to the other state for visitation. My youngest (he's 8 weeks) doesn't ever see his father because he says he doesn't want anything to do with him. After he was born he called me after I worte him a letter telling him that he was born. He then told me that he wants to see him. That was 4 weeks ago and I have never heard from him again. So I went to the child support office and applied for child support. For you I would say go ahead and get the child support started. Even if he is in the babies life it is extremly hard to make it as a single mother with no help from father. Trust me I know. GOOD LUCK and CONGRATULATIONS

Dont mind but sounds Strange .You left him caz u didn't trust him but still you trust him good enough that you are pregnant now.now just ask yourself either you could be a good mom or not.You don't trust him then simply don't ask him. Ask yourself that could you take a good care of your baby then let it see this world,but if baby have to be killed in this world being ALONE then better would be to kill it now. Being pregnant doesn't mean that its simple a fusion of boy and girl in lust or love, Its havnig all mankind. "Mother" the greatest , purest word on planet Earth.So see if you can respect yourself as a mother or not.Hope you will think what i tried to say about.

well he has the right to see his child you cannot deprive him of that right. i think that 21 is too young to be having a child. you guys should have taken a better approach to this and use some protection, but what is done is done. my advice to you is that don't let this get to you. you have your whole future ahead of you and you shouldn't let him be a part of it. as for your best friend, let her go no doesn't matter if its hard,she might probably end up in the same situation as you anyway. i guess you should have learnt alot from this experience. well goodluck. take care. and keep your headup

Tho God bless you

legally, i think, the mother have more rights with the baby(depending, i think, with what law you are under, or what country you are in), but he is the father, so he have rights too. i guess, you just have to be mature on making decisions - ones that are good for the baby. (as a father too, i guiess he SHOULD pay for child support.)

I mean this as nice as possible, but you don't need to be looking for justification from strangers on the internet as to what to do with your baby. And you shouldn't have been sleeping with someone you only dated for a short time. I'd say if your ex wants to be apart of his baby's life you need to let him. Children are much better off when they have a positive relationship with both parents.

okie, here's what i have to say, not coming from personal experience, but from first hand friend experience. you're angry now, and i understand that, you have every right to be. you're going to have to think for you and your unborn and not just yourself at this point. IF you choose to cut off all ties to the father..."10" years down the road if you should for any reason want child support...he'll bring up that you made him a ghost in his child's life, and chances are, you won't win that war. so think of it in terms of...after you've calmed down and started a new life for yourself, when you've moved on and things are looking up...do you really want to have a legal battle because of a decision you made some odd years back?

life making it hard,simple,challenging etc.., it is in our hand so dont try to play with the childs future.moreover ur just 19 u have to earn more need financially much support and need protection to you and for your baby.so plz be matured in this matter.tomorrow your baby need a initial to admit him/her to k.G so compromise with him,you mutually understand each other n make a plan and work out, may all be the success.

i would say yes cause he his the father of your baby' but as for you 'you have no shame;slept with him just in a few weeks . he can be in that childs life as long as he wishes to be there for his child nothing you or anyone can say for it takes two.