To Dye or Not to Dye
@Kouponkaren (5503)
United States
October 9, 2023 10:08pm CST
I have dark brown hair and I used to dye it with a Clairol 6-week hair dye that washes out. Then I got breast cancer a few years back and decided to only use natural products on my body so I switched to natural henna dye.
It was a three-hour process and I really dreaded it. It seemed like such a waste of 3 hours of my life, and of course I had to have a shower cap on my head while the henna was working its magic so I did it later at night after my husband went to bed.
So now with his most recent callback for my mammogram (which as you remember turned out fine) I was thinking I would just rather be my "authentic self" which to me means just letting my hair go gray naturally.
My husband has always said he doesn't care if I dye it or not. But then when I brought it up to him the other day, he said, "Well if you could just do some touch-ups, that would be nice." Which means he is not ready for me to stop dyeing my hair.
I am not toally gray...I have gray strands starting to go through my brown hair. But I am not sure I am ready for gray hair yet.
So I am on the fence with this. What do you think? Should I keep dyeing my hair? Or just be my "authentic self" and let the gray come as it may?
20 people like this
18 responses
@LadyDuck (472074)
• Switzerland
11 Oct 23
@Kouponkaren I wear make up and I am very careful with my weight, I know that my husband likes to look at my figure and see the same woman he married, not two in one. I want to look at the best, but I agree with my husband, my hair are silver grey and looks a lot better natural. Not to mention that right now even young woman dye their hair MY silver grey.
1 person likes this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@LadyDuck
That's how my brother feels too and his wife doesn't dye her hair or wear makeup. She also doesn't take care of herself though in many ways and has gained weight and looks awful. I haven't ever heard her say she got her hair cut, so I think she trims it herself. So I want to look the best that I can, but be my natural self as well.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@JudyEv you look very young to me in the pictures here.
2 people like this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@JudyEv
I wish I was as brave as you!
2 people like this
@JudyEv (342088)
• Rockingham, Australia
11 Oct 23
@GardenGerty I probably need to put up a more recent photo but I don't think I've changed much. It would have 2017 so it's getting a bit dated now I guess.
1 person likes this
@youless (112586)
• Guangzhou, China
10 Oct 23
I don't really know. I dye my hair to cover the grey hair only. And today the dying product is very convenient. I just need to comb my hair with the dying prodducts. Usually it spends half an hour and I can wash my hair and everything will be done. I can even do it by myself.
3 people like this
@youless (112586)
• Guangzhou, China
11 Oct 23
@Kouponkaren In the past I used L'OREAL and now I use Bigen.
1 person likes this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@youless
Wow, that sounds a lot more convenient than what I am dealing with. That's great. What is the name of that product?
2 people like this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@paigea
Good for you. Life is easier without thinking about or trying to dye hair.
2 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (104150)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
10 Oct 23
I would dye my hair if there will no bad health problems doing it.
3 people like this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@Deepizzaguy
When I use henna there are no bad health problems with it. It's just a long and tedious process. And I just want to be my natural self.
1 person likes this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@Gilljane
I guess I am teetering in that direction. We have a cruise coming up so I may just try it one more time.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (93883)
• United States
10 Oct 23
As a woman, it is most important you be to true to yourself when it comes to your appearance. There is something wonderful about having no artifice, and if you have a desire to be your true, authentic self, then you should absolutely go for it. Live with it for as long as you want, and if at some point you want to dye it again, go for it.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (182175)
• United States
10 Oct 23
It is up to you. I am sure you will look fine either way.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (182175)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@Kouponkaren I think you have answered your own question 
1 person likes this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@snowy22315
Thanks, and probably but I guess the question is do I want to look good, or natural?
1 person likes this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@snowy22315
What do you mean? Do you think I can't look "good" and "natural" at the same time? LOL!
1 person likes this
@much2say (56053)
• Los Angeles, California
10 Oct 23
I never covered my grays . . . now it's salt and pepper . . . I like to think I play it cool with a short asymmetrical haircut 
. I think it was my aunt who said that once you dye your hair, you have to deal with the gray roots within a few days (they grow fast) - it all sounded like such a hassle so I never bothered with it.
. I think it was my aunt who said that once you dye your hair, you have to deal with the gray roots within a few days (they grow fast) - it all sounded like such a hassle so I never bothered with it.2 people like this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@much2say
Well the weird thing is that my roots aren't gray. I just have some individual gray hairs interspersed with my regular brown hair. I guess I should be happy about that.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (90464)
• Arvada, Colorado
10 Oct 23
It's fine to keep dying it..with Clairol.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (90464)
• Arvada, Colorado
11 Oct 23
@Kouponkaren Oh I am sorry..well then something naturall..I used to do Henna when I was young..its a long process though.
@RebeccasFarm (90464)
• Arvada, Colorado
11 Oct 23
@Kouponkaren Oh I am sorry..well then something naturall..I used to do Henna when I was young..its a long process though.
@wolfgirl569 (108126)
• Marion, Ohio
10 Oct 23
I let mine go grey but do use henna at times. Other times I put the temporary bright colors in it for fun
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (108126)
• Marion, Ohio
11 Oct 23
@Kouponkaren My hair feels great when I use it. I need to again.
The bright is fun and many of those wash out pretty easy. I wouldn't do it before because my hair was dark enough to need bleached. Now I can just put it in
1 person likes this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@wolfgirl569
That's great. I am glad you are having fun with it.
1 person likes this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@wolfgirl569
I really like the henna because it is all-natural. I don't do bright colors. I am not that brave!
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (20041)
• United States
10 Oct 23
I'm 43 years old. I haven't had any grey showing at least not that I have noticed. I was thinking of dying my hair again in couple of months. But I think if you're not ready yet you could get the wash out kind.
2 people like this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@JESSY3236
You are fortunate. I did have some gray in my 40s. I think I will try just mixing henna with my conditioner and leave it in for 30 minutes or so.
@amitkokiladitya (171927)
• Agra, India
10 Oct 23
Today morning itself I noticed a lot of gray hair. And decided to apply henna next week
3 people like this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@amitkokiladitya
Have you used henna before? Or on a regular basis?
@Beestring (14692)
• Hong Kong
10 Oct 23
If you feel good after dyeing your hair, use natural products. I dye my hair once in a while.
3 people like this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@Beestring
I do feel good after dyeing my hair, but it just takes so much of my life. If I wasn't married, I would just let it be. My husband likes having a "young" wife and I have tried to look the part. But at some point I am gong to stop.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
11 Oct 23
I was using henna. I like how it made my hair and scalp feel, but it took me more like five hours. My hair does not absorb well. I do not feel that my gray hair makes me look older. It is a matter of taste.
@allknowing (137775)
• India
11 Oct 23
I have to match my face that still looks young and so I dye my hair to match my original colour
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
10 Oct 23
My hair started to go grey in my late 20s. Once it got more grey, then for a while I tried dying it blonde (I had been curious to try blonde hair, but didn't want to bleach my naturally dark brown hair in order to try it). Then for a while I tried a sort of auburn shade, but in the end I just couldn't be bothered any more so I left it. It was a pepper-and-salt mix, then it went a sort of silvery grey which I rather liked. Now though it is going white, at least on top (I have long hair) and is also a bit thinner and I don't like it! I'm wondering whether to try dying it again - I'm actually considering dyeing it silver-grey! My face has also aged - I don't like that either! so I don't know if a darker colour would really suit.
Another option - I have noticed that one friend (she's French, I don't know if that has any bearing on her choices!) has started wearing a wig. She always used to have short dark hair; for the past two years she has had dark blonde hair in a chignon. I have never mentioned it and neither has she so I don't know why she has started to wear one.
2 people like this
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
11 Oct 23
@Fleura
Wearing a wig is not an option for me but thanks for the idea. That's a bit too unnatural for me.
1 person likes this
