I never asked to be born

I agree with you,it's better the daughter move out from home,then there will be less arguements between them.

I guess for Westerners, yeah, it's easy just to ask the child to leave the house but we in the East and as Muslims, we keep our daughters in our house until they're married so as to protect them from bad influences and elements.

@jefferson126 We are Muslims and we keep our daughters with us because as parents we're responsible for their well-being until she's married off and her husband will take care of her. We can't just kick them out just because they're being a nuisance.

I sympathize with my sister's situation because she's not confrontational and her children do, I feel, take advantage of her. But they do love her and I believe that truly. They just don't want her to be too restrictive with their behavior. Usually when a child says this statement, it's when they don't want to do what the parent instructs them to do or they're justifying their bad behavior.

@MarieCoyle True. True. I feel that the children nowadays are very self-centered and only think about their well-being disregarding the feelings of those older than them. There seems to be a lack of respect for the elderly.

@UmiNoor Well...not to be offensive to your niece or your sister, but in the case of the daughter, she needs to realize that if she wants to be treated like an adult, she needs to act like one. Like you said, she doesn't want to follow the direction of her parents.

I totally agree. Communication is the key. When such harsh words are uttered, normally there's some underlying festering problem. She probably didn't understand what she just said and the hurt she may have caused.

@wiLLmaH I guess that is the best that can be done.

@UmiNoor but for now, I think they need time, space and realisation on what should be done to mend that argument.

Yeah...I agree.

It's hard to stop "poking" your child when you see them doing something that is detrimental to them. Would you let your child to play with fire?

@UmiNoor - There is always the right way and the wrong way to warn your children. My father could tell me everything and I would have followed what he told me. Mom had a way to make me notice things that got on my nerves. This is surely what happens here. The mother does not know how to talk to her daughter.

I hope so. I hope she'll be more matured and not blame others for her bad behavior.

@UmiNoor With time she will learn. Nature has a way of administering some lessons.

@Missmwngi So very true. Time is a universal teacher and healer.

Yeah, you're totally right. She's just 19 and she really doesn't understand what she has uttered and how much those words hurt her mother. And my sister is not confrontational and she just doesn't know what to say to her child. She will understand once she becomes a mother herself.

@jefferson126 That is what I pray for that she will realize the gravity of her statement and hopefully, mother and child can live happily together until she is given away for marriage.

@UmiNoor ,time will tell all.

@UmiNoor We all have our experiences Umi ji. But sometimes, as adults, even we can be wrong. Our experiences maybe limited, or we may have rather fixed notions about some issues, based on our bad experiences. So we try to pass the so called wisdom we acquired across years and from what was passed down to us by our parents and grandparents. But times change. Environment changes. What was right in the past, becomes wrong or difficult in modern times. We will not survive. But children will. They need to have their own group, who will be there for them after we are gone. There has to be give and take.... I was saying this based on how my neighbor was criticizing her daughter in law. Her daughter in law wore sleeveless and a slightly shorter night gown. The neighbor objected and was grumbling against her. I said this girl is working, she has friends who wear something like that. She has to mingle in that crowd. Not our crowd. If she dresses up with our type of garments, those friends will try to keep away from her. Effectively, she loses a set of friends who will be there after we are gone. She needs help, whom can she turn to? So we need to move out of shell some so that next generation has a support system after you and your friends leave the world. In any event, your group is not equipped with contemporary technological expertise to help her out, even if you all were around. So she actually needs the new crowd, and to blend in it. It did not go down well, and they parted ways. We can only take the horse to the water. We cannot make it drink. :)

Personally, I don't think the solution is for her to move out. It's not solving the real issue. It's like just putting a band-aid on the problem. The problem will still be there festering.

In my most humble opinion, moving out won't solve the real problem. It only separates the parties involved and that won't solve the real problem.