How long can you hold your faith to God in a Communist Country?

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This year,i plan to write 100 Chinese short novels,then i'll stop writing anything.Because the Totalitarian Tyranny of China gets worse,if i keep chasing my dream,it maybe will put me to the death and involve my parents in the Communist Persecution. In my Childhood,i was brainwashed by CCP.They said Communism is the Universe Truth,Marx and Mao is the saviour of this world.We were born to liberate the people who live in the western countries.CCP told us USA,UK and French is a hell.People has no freedom,they were enslaved and tortured by Capitalists.Meantime,CCP says we're the inheritors of this Communist Empire. They especially says that God is fake,Christianism is superstitious.Christianist is cult.I was deeply obsessed with their theories.I was a psycho lapdog of Communism.I wanted to massacre Japanese for the revenge,i prepared to die for the Communist Leaders.I treated everyone who spoke about Western freedom,democracy and human rights as traitor and enemies. But as i grew up,i gradually found all these things CCP brainwashed me is all nonsense.So i chose to do myself and fight for the Chinese Freedom.I wrote poetries,i spoke dissidences,i walk on a desperate road that God leads me in Modern Sodom-Communist China. Am i a brave person?Not really.I just lost the hope under the tyranny of Communist China.Only God can make the miracle for me.From 2006 to now,i prayed to God everyday,i was arrested by Communist gestapo twice,i am considered as a terrorist and psycho,i am abandoned by whole world and everyone who loved me.But i still held the faith to God,hoping one day he'll show me a miracle to let me see that i'm becoming a great person of China,at least become Chinese John Keats. But now i've given up the faith to God.After so many evil and anti-human crimes happened in Communist China,this world still choose to taste Satan's Red Apple,choose to yield to Communist power and money,Choose to be blind to what happened in those poor good chinese under Communist tyranny. Now President Hsi has become the God of China,even the Governor of California and Democrats Party in USA also chose to welcome this dictator.Where is the God?Where is the Justice?Where is the doomsday to these evil communist slaveholders?Where is my future? So in the end,if you were born in a communist country and brainwashed by them since you're a child,and you have no way to escape from this hell,how long can you hold your faith to God?