Do You Ever Just Want to Run Away?
By Jim Bauer
@porwest (89933)
United States
December 17, 2023 10:07am CST
Life is a funny thing sometimes. And then there's family. It's an odd mix of love and friendship, but also of rivalry and strife, and I don't think there's any family not immune to all the ups and downs and sideways moments. It just is what it is.
One thing I do notice is that many times families tend to grow more apart as time goes on. I have cousins, for example, that used to be a big part of my life, that nowadays I couldn't care less if I never see them again.
Even when it comes to immediate family, people simply change and become different people. You still cherish the good moments of course. You still have the good memories. You simply don't necessarily enjoy the current company as much as you used to.
The older I get, and the more time goes on, the stronger my desire to simply run away and leave it all behind becomes. Sometimes I find it a bit scary how easy it would be. Would I feel something? A little bit. But not as much as I would expect.
Of course, considering what I do I could never just disappear. But make me distant and virtually inaccessible? Yeah, I could do that. And sometimes I really want to. Break the ties and close the doors forever? Yeah, I could. Drive off into the sunset and never ever look back.
Sometimes I really want that. You get tired of binds and snares and false senses. You get tired of trying to be what everyone else wants you to be. You get tired of being forced to "fit the mold," that others decide is the right one. You get tired of not simply being accepted for who you are.
And you also get tired of picking sides or never feeling like you are on the right side of things.
Do you ever want to do that? Just go off and be somewhere else? Get away from it all? Not to bid farewell to this life. But to bid farewell to the people currently in it. Do you ever at least think about it?
11 people like this
10 responses
@porwest (89933)
• United States
18 Dec
@LadyDuck I think part of it is that we simply get too rooted and "comfortable" where we are, and sometimes the "risk" just seems too great. It is an odd thing when I think about it, the risk my wife and I took when we lived in Wisconsin. We both quit our jobs, packed up our stuff and moved 6 hours away to Illinois.
At the time it seemed like a bit of a step back even if it also represented a "new beginning," and there was a period of time when I questioned whether or not it was a good decision to make after all. In the end, it turned out be a very good decision and we are much better off for having done it.
It's been 10 years since we did that and now I am getting a bit antsy for a variety of reasons. Actually taking the step is still a difficult decision to make simply because of the unknowns in doing it. I think it's that way for a lot of people, no matter how strong the desire.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121546)
• Gainesville, Florida
20 Dec
It’s funny that as we get older we tend to become more reclusive, whether it be coworkers, friends or even family. I, too, have found myself more distant with family members I used to be so much more closer to.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121546)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Dec
@porwest Well, it's probably true that we NEED others more as we get older, but we WANT them less. haha
1 person likes this
@porwest (89933)
• United States
24 Dec
@moffittjc That is an excellent way of putting it. Yes. I think that's exactly the truth. lol
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (69229)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
17 Dec
Ever since George had his stroke, that feeling has come up more than once. The more rational side of me knows, I could never just walk away from him, from this. I could never abandon him. But, sometimes I wish I could. Go to living life alone. But, then I am reminded how I love him. And, how the healing process isn't always quick and easy. And, I know how much it means for him to have me there supporting, annoying and over all making sure he feels safe and secure.
1 person likes this
@porwest (89933)
• United States
18 Dec
@kaylachan Sometimes in life one just has to do what one has to do, as they say. The first step is often the most difficult one to take. But the farther away from where you were you become, the easier each new step forward becomes.
1 person likes this
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
25 Dec
I sure do and if I could afford to move I would head to the mountains. I love my family but at times it gets old hearing the same stuff. And it isn't just family. I get tired of hearing people whining, griping, complaining, gossiping. That is just a few things that I definitely would not miss.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41387)
• United States
19 Dec
I have absolutely thought about it. Sometimes I just want to run away from home and take Dale with me.
If we won the lottery, we would buy a beautiful house on the ocean at Myrtle Beach SC with thirty acres surrounding it. And no trespassing signs.
Then we'd buy a house in the Ozark Mountains with thirty acres around that.
Family welcome by invitation only.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (67703)
• United States
17 Dec
The good thing about being retired is I can run away any time I need to. And, believe me, there are times that I need to.
Roy Clark did a song called “Right or Left at Oak Street,” which had a line in the chorus: “I don’t know which takes more courage: the staying or the running away.”
(Not the greatest song, but that line always stuck with me.)
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1 person likes this
@porwest (89933)
• United States
18 Dec
We (my wife and I) took what some would consider a rather big risk ten years ago when we decided to both just quit our jobs, pack up and move 6 hours from our home in Wisconsin to Illinois. Granted, we were financially secure enough to do that. At the same time, there were a few times when I questioned whether we had made the right decision. But in the end, it turned out to be a very good and fruitful decision.
Even if I know the outcome of the last new journey was good, it's still a bit scary to do it again—there is no guarantee the new outcome will fare as well as the last.
While we have not made any hard decisions right now, the seed is sort of planted and once that happens, the thought process changes a bit, and whether you are doing it intentionally or not, you sort of start planning for the possibility more than you were before.
It's sort of like my own retirement. It was probably at least two years in the making until finally, the final straw was delivered, and it became a split-second decision. But not one that I made without being fully prepared to make it.
Whether I prepared intentionally or subconsciously, I was still prepared, nonetheless.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (177898)
• United States
18 Dec
As you know, I bid farewell to my side of the family when my father disowned me. I'm glad to be done with them; but it makes it difficult now that we're old. We are the oldest living relatives on my husband's side. There is nothing left but some cousins. No one to really check on us except the second cousin that is our housekeeper. What you do is your own business; but I would be reluctant to get rid of all your family. You may need them some day. Have a good week.
