Sharing with you my entry poem for the Poetry International Contests
@cacay1 (83961)
Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
December 25, 2023 1:52am CST
I am glad to share woth you my entry for the poetry international contest. I need your feedback, my dear friends.
GREEN, GREEN GRASSES
Green, green grasses, you delight my heart
You look magnificent and are glorified by your pure scent
Tempests may come and go, but you always renew
Are you shy and timid, or just a semblance of purity?
Your ancestors may turn brown and be buried in the ground
But your descendants emerge from the golden and scattered roots
The sunshine is your source of strength, and the wind is your breath
The rain is your powerful friend that lets you sustain
You may be small or tall, but you are vast and wonderful
People may dislike, ignore, or want to erase you from their sights
But they do not know your might, and you fight
But you understand their fright
Your thorns are razor-sharp, and your leaves itch their skin
That could create a deep wound
But for the animals, you are so tender, not a foe
Green, green grasses insects play hide-and-seek
Even snakes adore your shades and turn their skin green to help you mend
From the cruelties of the passers spitting, throwing, burning, and thumping you in madness
Green, green grasses; I see the dewdrops
They are like teardrops, pure and clean
You amaze my soul once in a while
You refreshed me and constantly swayed your leaves in love
I want to touch your leaves and smell your hay
Wishing someone would create a road at the center of your solitude
To feel the presence of humans who are not all unkind and toxic
Some of your generations serve as food for hungry birds
Pricking your sweet leaves and gently devouring the sip
Some of your kind have hard-to-trip bodies covered with itchy prunes
Some people want to see you invisible; their eyes are blind to seeing you cure
Your breath, people breathe the air that carries them to their lungs
They do not see or feel it, but disregard the source and origin
From the green, green grasses that exude life
Green, green grasses, you embrace the earth, the universe of mankind
You cover the land, but your residue returns to the now-barren fields
The impact is so rare because you fertilize the land, the source of life
You adorn the land untilled by its owner
Bad occupants retreat, for you are there with vast accomplices
That withdraws the whims of the intruders
They cannot eradicate you with their filthy hands
You are magnificent, it is hard to uproot your roots with their bare hands
The smoke may spread, putting people at risk if intruders use force to burn
Thus making the scene fantastic, the real owners will be quick to rescue you
Bad elements may seek help by hiding in your thick shadows
But your thorns and itchy leaves denied their refuge and made an exit
Green, green, grasses, you serve many purposes
One thing humans must not forget to assess
That you are the semblance of life, hope, and prosperity
You are a true creation of God, the immortal One
And as you kiss the setting sun, your remnants follow your footsteps
Helping humans to feel life, aspire to hope, and enjoy abundance till eternity
You are the East and the West conspired by the South and the North
That is how vast you are in the universe of the immortals
Storms may rock you, but they can never carry you away
From the face of the earth to serve humanity
You may be wrecked, but the next day you will be green and green again
Becauseā¦. You are LIFE.
10 people like this
11 responses
@cacay1 (83961)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 Dec 23
@simplfred thank you, my friend, why dont you join next year? First prize is $2000.
4 people like this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
27 Dec 23
@cacay1 What is the name of the site, my friend?
2 people like this
@cacay1 (83961)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
27 Dec 23
@simplfred, thank you so much my friend.
1 person likes this
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@celticeagle (170766)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Dec 23
Well, good luck. You have written quite a nice poem.
3 people like this
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@celticeagle (170766)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Dec 23
@cacay1 .......Don't forget to do a final edit before you send it in.
2 people like this
@cacay1 (83961)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
27 Dec 23
@celticeagle oh yeah I have editing tools Wordy Quilbot, Grammarly and Chat bot.
2 people like this
@cacay1 (83961)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 Dec 23
@celticeagle , thank you, it took me 5 days to finish this.
4 people like this
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@RebeccasFarm (91566)
• Arvada, Colorado
25 Dec 23
I love this Erly, I hope you win!!!
The poem reminds me of God's creations for us to enjoy.
It is very spiritual, the spirit of the Earth moving.
Happy Christmas to you and yours.![](/Content/images/emotes/hugs.gif)
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4 people like this
@popciclecold (39746)
• United States
25 Dec 23
I could never have thought about all that for grass You did a very good job. I tip my hat to you.
3 people like this
@cacay1 (83961)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 Dec 23
@popciclecold, thank you so much, my friend.![](/Content/images/emotes/hugs.gif)
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3 people like this
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@RasmaSandra (82219)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 Dec 23
This is a wonderful poem, nicely penned, inspirational, and full of hope, Best of luck to you winning the contest,
1 person likes this
@innertalks (22298)
• Australia
29 Dec 23
The picturing forth from the poem is good, and we get great images from the sculptured writing, and yet for me, I prefer more consistency of verse, and line length, with punctuation intact too.
I guess it is a style of writing poetry, not to include full stops, or commas, at the end of lines. It gives each line more connective urgency, I guess. And yet some connectivity is lost by using capitals to start every line, instead of using a comma at the end of a line to join some lines dually, instead of leaving them all separated by the capital letters.
A poem is hard to read without enough punctuation, and hard for me to feel the rhythm, when verse, and line lengths, differ quite a bit too.
The poem is also a bit too long for me, and it comes across as more a ballad, or prose writing.
That's only my feedback, anyway. The word images created in your poem are all very good.
@cacay1 (83961)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
30 Dec 23
@innertalks, that's a contest and a requirement. We're only following the instructions.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83961)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
31 Dec 23
@innertalks, that's write I've written 800 poems of medium length but for a blog requirement, I've to follow to write a poem with 3,000 words but the pay was right.
1 person likes this
@innertalks (22298)
• Australia
30 Dec 23
@cacay1 Oh, well, yes, you do need to stick to the rules, and requirements for the contest.
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