Sometimes, strong people falter.

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They just do. The last few weeks have been so difficult. My son got worse, he spent a few nights in the hospital, had to have an extra transfusion, I was up and down the interstate constantly, trying to manage everything and being there when needed. For some reason, this time seemed to be worse. I asked myself why? No, it wasn't worse, it was me. I know it was. I am just...tired. Sleep is elusive, son spends a lot of nights here, there are a lot of appointments and needs and transfusions and infusions, and he has to be taken to those. He is just not physically able to drive right now, more than a few blocks if that. I have always prided myself to have the attitude of ''Never, Ever Give UP!'' and I never have--not on anything. Looking back at my life, I've had to be strong since my earliest memory of myself. I did not have a functioning mother, and I had a little sister. She had to have someone, so I played a big part in her care, even as a little girl. The grandmothers and an aunt helped all that they could...but we lost the grandmothers, and the aunt did have her own children to raise as well as a full time job. My sister and I were very close all of her life. I lost her long ago. I am thankful she was in my life, she was a wonderful lady and fantastic aunt and sister. I have been really ''secretly'' down in the dumps over all of his issues, with no end for us in searching for answers and a doctor who would take him on, as it's all so complex. But no more, I can't let it get to me, and today was so good!! Today, my son had an important appointment concerning his many health problems. I take him to his appointments, but only once have I ever gone in with him--he is an adult, I am his mother, and I don't want to be THAT mother. But today, he asked me to please come in with him, it was a big consult, and he didn't want to miss anything. So, Mom went along. GUESS WHAT?? We got a doctor who had read every single page of his chart and history, surgeries, and all. She did her homework. She is simply astounded that there is so much that possibly could have been done for him, or at least tried, and hasn't been. The appointment/consult, etc. was nearly 3 hours long! I was simply amazed. She came highly recommended, is in the process of making a workable plan of medications, treatments, and possibly one more surgery. This all put much needed new pep in Mom's step! And in my son's, of course. We have been trying for months to be positive, keep trying, hitting dead ends, and him so ill most of that time. But now...we have real hope! I told the lady doctor everything she asked. and maybe some she didn't. She honestly seems to be on the up and up, and really wants to help. She said, I love a challenge, and I want to help your son! So tonight, we are being positive and are truly thinking maybe this is it, maybe we found a doctor that will really take the time to put it all together so that he can have a life. I'm just psyched, and so is he. He is a good son and a very nice man. He more than deserves this chance and some good things to come his way.