Sometimes, strong people falter.
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (38671)
February 8, 2024 11:21pm CST
They just do.
The last few weeks have been so difficult. My son got worse, he spent a few nights in the hospital, had to have an extra transfusion, I was up and down the interstate constantly, trying to manage everything and being there when needed. For some reason, this time seemed to be worse. I asked myself why? No, it wasn't worse, it was me. I know it was. I am just...tired. Sleep is elusive, son spends a lot of nights here, there are a lot of appointments and needs and transfusions and infusions, and he has to be taken to those. He is just not physically able to drive right now, more than a few blocks if that.
I have always prided myself to have the attitude of ''Never, Ever Give UP!'' and I never have--not on anything. Looking back at my life, I've had to be strong since my earliest memory of myself. I did not have a functioning mother, and I had a little sister. She had to have someone, so I played a big part in her care, even as a little girl. The grandmothers and an aunt helped all that they could...but we lost the grandmothers, and the aunt did have her own children to raise as well as a full time job. My sister and I were very close all of her life. I lost her long ago. I am thankful she was in my life, she was a wonderful lady and fantastic aunt and sister.
I have been really ''secretly'' down in the dumps over all of his issues, with no end for us in searching for answers and a doctor who would take him on, as it's all so complex. But no more, I can't let it get to me, and today was so good!!
Today, my son had an important appointment concerning his many health problems. I take him to his appointments, but only once have I ever gone in with him--he is an adult, I am his mother, and I don't want to be THAT mother. But today, he asked me to please come in with him, it was a big consult, and he didn't want to miss anything. So, Mom went along. GUESS WHAT?? We got a doctor who had read every single page of his chart and history, surgeries, and all. She did her homework. She is simply astounded that there is so much that possibly could have been done for him, or at least tried, and hasn't been. The appointment/consult, etc. was nearly 3 hours long! I was simply amazed. She came highly recommended, is in the process of making a workable plan of medications, treatments, and possibly one more surgery.
This all put much needed new pep in Mom's step! And in my son's, of course. We have been trying for months to be positive, keep trying, hitting dead ends, and him so ill most of that time. But now...we have real hope! I told the lady doctor everything she asked. and maybe some she didn't. She honestly seems to be on the up and up, and really wants to help. She said, I love a challenge, and I want to help your son!
So tonight, we are being positive and are truly thinking maybe this is it, maybe we found a doctor that will really take the time to put it all together so that he can have a life. I'm just psyched, and so is he.
He is a good son and a very nice man. He more than deserves this chance and some good things to come his way.
24 people like this
24 responses
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
I am very careful. The main thing about driving anywhere anymore is, rule#1--watch out for the other guy! Honestly, people don't follow laws, they drive in the wrong lane, swerve in front of people, and above all think that the only speed to drive is 90 MPH. I don't have doubts about my own abilities at this point, but I do have a lot of concern about many of the drivers I see do wrong things!
Thank you so much.
2 people like this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
9 Feb
@MarieCoyle One of my instructors told me 'assume everyone else is an idiot'. Sound advice for sure, I have passed it on!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
@Fleura
There seems to be a lot of wild and angry drivers that do not care about others. Your instructor was right!
2 people like this
@everwonderwhy (7367)
•
9 Feb
You have been going through a lot of sufferings and discouragements. Your son’s new doctor seems to care and have compassion. I’m glad the doctor was sent to you and your son from Heaven.
3 people like this
@everwonderwhy (7367)
•
9 Feb
@MarieCoyle You and your good son have touched God's kind and relentless loving heart. He will always show you His grace and the way to healing and restoration. Take heart, my dear friend.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
The biggest issue I have with it all is not having any answers yet and not the right doctor in charge of his care. So, so many specialists, but never a doctor that would look at the big picture and try to coordinate his needs.
I truly thank you for your loving and caring words that touched my heart.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51559)
• Canada
9 Feb
That is just perfect that he has a potential new doctor.
You have been his pillar of strength and support, that cannot be easy, but I am sure he loves you more than words can express as a result of your persistence and strength, and never, ever letting down.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (51559)
• Canada
9 Feb
@MarieCoyle You, your strength and determination must be such a positive reinforcement to never ever give up for him. He is lucky to have you for that and for so much more.
I did not realize that our lives, as of late, are so parallel. Both seeking out medical professionals for patients with multiple serious issues.
The doctor that ordered my chest x-ray for the pnemonia, called me to see her yesterday. I suppose that she could have let this slide, as she got her diagnosis, but the x-ray indicated a bit more, from another diagnosis, and she informed me of the findings and has ordered some more testing. With any luck, seeing her after test results roll in should be able to buy me some time until she opens a practice and begins taking on her own patients. That is my wish, we will see if it is my fortune.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
He feels badly that I do what I do. I wish I could do more, but I do the best that I can do, he is very appreciative. I have a really good feeling that this doctor can help us get the ball rolling and help us get his care and meds and such all coordinated.
The one thing she said was something I already knew, that he has so many different serious issues it’s going to take a lot of testing and such. But we don’t care, we just want him to be better and able to have a life.
Thank you so much.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
@Juliaacv
Oh, Julia--I do hope it all works out for you, too. I know how hard it is to get proper and GOOD medical care, and to find someone who actually cares. There are some good medical people out there, but they are busy and so hard to get in to. So many we contacted on our own were simply not able to take on any more patients. Very discouraging.
Maybe we should get T-shirts made with the ''Never Give Up!'' slogan in large letters!
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (108071)
• Marion, Ohio
9 Feb
You have a lot to deal with. Getting down is not giving up. I hope this doctor is able to help
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (108071)
• Marion, Ohio
10 Feb
@MarieCoyle . Screaming and crying can be very helpful. Don't feel bad when you need to do it. I have always fought crying but it can help.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
10 Feb
@wolfgirl569
One day I went out to the garage and kicked some loaded plastic tubs. Unfortunately, it didn't do anything for me except to make my toes hurt!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
I needed to hear that. I’m no quitter and I hadn’t given up, but oh…very hard! Thank you, Eva.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317242)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 Feb
@MarieCoyle I'm glad you're hopeful. You're welcome.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
@just4him
''Hope is the thing with feathers''...to have hope brings the spirits up so very much.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
The doctor was just amazed that it’s not all been addressed better than it has. We are very hopeful, and that is the first time that’s happened in a long while. Thank you, Valerie.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472070)
• Switzerland
10 Feb
@MarieCoyle Well done, it was a day to celebrate.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
We celebrated and had a small helping of ice cream, yay!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
10 Feb
@LadyDuck
It means a lot to have some hope for this. We were feeling like there was never going to be anyone who would be able to truly help.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
9 Feb
I'm sorry to hear you had such a difficult childhood, and that you lost your sister.
I don't really know the details of your son's condition (I guess I have missed reading about that) but so glad that at last someone seems to be really paying attention and I really hope that something will come of this that will help him - and therefore, help you too.
2 people like this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
9 Feb
@MarieCoyle Gosh how awful, he's certainly been through the mill. I really hope this doctor is a good one!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
It's rather long and complicated so I will not elaborate. He has a blood disorder and has to have regular transfusions and iron infusions. That has been going on for about 7 years. Long story, but it's not fixable. Then he was hit on the interstate by a semi truck(not his fault) and had a total of 6 surgeries. He has a steel rod in his neck and back, they rebuilt his arm, he had abdominal repairs, it goes on and on. Numerous hospitalizations and he coded twice. We are trying to get him well, he does not like being an invalid.
Thank you so much for your good wishes for us. It's much appreciated.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (16503)
• Raurkela, India
9 Feb
Wish your son gets well soon. It's very painful for a parent to see her son suffer.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (181645)
• United States
9 Feb
This is very good news; and I pray this new doctor will be able to help your son. Don't forget to take care of yourself along with your son! Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
I have been trying hard to take care. Thank you, Linda
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
9 Feb
That is great that you finally have a good doctor who truly cares and has given you and your son hope. Maybe now things will finally start getting better. Praying that good things will finally come his way.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
It feels so good to have some hope!
Thank you so much.
1 person likes this
@mildredtabitha (16147)
• Nairobi, Kenya
9 Feb
If I understood correctly, you mean you lost your little sister? Sorry about this.
Sorry that your son is sick. I hope the doctor will find a permanent solution.
2 people like this
@mildredtabitha (16147)
• Nairobi, Kenya
9 Feb
@MarieCoyle You are welcomed. I'm glad you have your children and grandchildren. I will pray for your son.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
Maybe I wasn't clear, she passed away, yes, in 2003. I still miss her, I always will. My parents have been gone for many years, they did not live long lives. So from my own family, I am the only one left. I have my children and grandchildren and I cherish each one of them.
We know there is not going to be a complete cure for my son, we faced that already. But his pain has got to be less for him to function as well as possible, plus a host of other issues Thank you so much, Mildred.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
27 Feb
Honestly, he's still not good. Next week is more appointments. He lost his balance and fell a few days ago, and broke two bones in the side of his foot...so we have been dealing with that, too.
One thing for sure, it's never boring over here.
Thank you so, so much for asking about him, Aparajita.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
27 Feb
@apsmine9
He is a grown man, an adult. Before his illness and then before the semi truck smacked into him and all this happened, he had a wonderful job he dearly loved. He is patient and kind. He has always volunteered and spent time on animal rescue. He is responsible, and he is a good person. He is simply hurt and ill and has a bad blood disorder, that requires him to have regular blood transfusions as well as many other surgeries to fix his body from the wreck.
@apsmine9 (362)
•
27 Feb
@MarieCoyle How old is he? It'll soon be fine. He must learn to be patient. It'll take him some time to heal. He might be having some sort of resentment or anger issues, or a feeling that he needs to get over. He also needs to take responsibility for himself. This resting period is necessary. Instead of succumbing to pessimistic thoughts, (if he is brooding) then he should use this time to reflect. He is needed. The world needs him. If he's here in this world, it's for a purpose.
1 person likes this
@much2say (56002)
• Los Angeles, California
15 Feb
You have so, so much on your plate. You're a wonderful, strong mother - giving up is not in your vocabulary especially concerning your children/family. Thank goodness for this new doctor . . . she sounds caring and thorough . . . I truly hope she can help your son get on the best road to recovery. This is so great . . . keeping you and your son in my thoughts .
1 person likes this
@much2say (56002)
• Los Angeles, California
19 Feb
@MarieCoyle
I know you're doing everything in your power to help your son . . . it's been difficult but your efforts have finally led you to this positive new door. May your son get those much needed answers soon . . . I'm going to be hopeful for him too!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
19 Feb
@much2say
Thank you so much for the encouraging words. There are days when I need to hear them, and today was one of those days.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
15 Feb
Thank you for the lovely compliments. I am just giving the best I have, to be his advocate when needed and hopefully find the answers. I am very hopeful. He will be having several big medical tests soon, in the hospital. Then another evaluation, and hopefully answers. Thank you again, it's so appreciated!!
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41722)
• United States
12 Feb
Marie, I can sure understand how excited you and your son are. I'll keep on praying for you both...please keep us updated.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (83110)
• United States
9 Feb
That sounds like positive news for your son and a doctor who is invested in helping. Hope now things will get better for both you and your son. It certainly has been an uphill battle for you both.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
9 Feb
The battle isn’t over yet, but we are truly hopeful. Thank you so much!
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (83110)
• United States
10 Feb
@MarieCoyle at least there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220215)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Feb
@MarieCoyle I have have better and worse doctors.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
10 Feb
@TheHorse
I had one who lost his medical license right after he operated on my foot. Come to find out, he was being sued by a gazillion people...he ran off to Mexico to live. There's some winners out there, for sure!
@Itsonlyadream (239)
•
11 Feb
I just recently learned about this site. The people and the stories that I have read are amazing and heart breaking. Through all the rough times I have seen so many of their comments that support you and your son. You have done so well and so much for him. He can only get better with the tremendous love you show every day. I lost my mother about ten years ago and there is not a day that goes by that I wish I could say hi Mom. I know he appreciates all that you do. Thank you for sharing your story.
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
11 Feb
I truly appreciate your very kind words. People in here are generally extremely nice and caring. We all struggle at times with this thing called ''life'' as you know...and sometimes it helps to share our ups and downs, achievements and woes, special times and special days.
I hope you enjoy your mylot time here. Thank you so much!
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
12 Feb
We were all a new person, once.
How did I hear of mylot? I had a friend who was very active here for a time. So I thought to stop by and read posts and see what it is all about. I like the way the people here interact with each other. It doesn't seem to be so much about the money as it is about the contacts and friendships that people enjoy here. And while we all want money, of course, the interaction to many is a good thing. There are people who cannot or do not drive or travel, people with health issues and people who are healthy, people who travel and people who never go anywhere...people who love to cook and love to eat! (Food is a big thing on mylot!)
Before I ever start a new site, I try to check it out, read posts, and see if it's a place I want to be and would enjoy. It's good that you like it here! We are all glad you do, and look forward to chatting with you.
@Itsonlyadream (239)
•
12 Feb
@MarieCoyle How did you find out about mylot ? There are so many sites and they all promise to make money. I wonder how many are scams? It is hard to know what to believe. So far this site is really interesting and so many people sharing. Even with someone who just started. That is very nice of you to give a new person a chance. Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@MelissaAnn1979 (122)
• Beckley, West Virginia
10 Feb
I am so glad you found a doctor who is compassionate and takes their time and listens and is going to try and help and not give you the runaround. It is so hard these days to find a good doctor. I was very sick a few years back and thankfully I found one of these rare to find doctors that actually cared and helped me. I wish you and your son all the best of luck.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
10 Feb
We are so very hopeful that this is it, the doctor we have looked for, it's taken so long. I'm glad you found one, too. It's just not easy! Thank you, Melissa.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38671)
•
10 Feb
@MelissaAnn1979
It seems to be happening to so many people, that they cannot find a good doctor who wants to help them get well if at all possible. I'm glad you found one for yourself. I am so very hopeful, thank you.
1 person likes this
@MelissaAnn1979 (122)
• Beckley, West Virginia
10 Feb
@MarieCoyle You're welcome. Thank you. I know it's not easy. We looked and had almost lost hope when I found mine. Seems those compassionate, caring understanding doctors are a rare breed. My doctor told me one time he thought that those in his profession who didn't do everything they could to help those who were sick and trying to get help needed to be in the same situation for a while so maybe they would try and do more to help their patients instead of their pockets and he had a point. I so hope this is the one for you and your son so he can get to feeling well.
1 person likes this