Will you be annoyed by Neighbours

Hangzhou, China
March 25, 2024 9:12am CST
Every night,when i tried to be immersed in the work,the neighbours always would whisper loudly. They're my aunt and uncle,the unlce is the elder brother of my dad.When i was born in this world,they've tried to throw me down on the ground from balcony. Were they trying to murder a baby?Yep,they wanted to kill me when i was just an infant.Because my dad and his elder brother are the vendetta. When you knew how dark and evil my life is,you will be surprised why still i keep mind clear and not turn into a psychotic criminal.Because i have my mission on this world that is purging the sin of my previous life and warn the whole world to cherish their freedom before Communist Party conquer the whole world. That's the reason why still i don't choose to commit the suicide.This hellish life,every second,i can't stand it any more. The China,The Communist government,the Psychotic parents,the evil neighb ours,all want me to die,all push me into the bottomless hell. But i have to finish my work,i won't die unless i see a gleam of hope that i could be Chinese John Keats or Friedrich Nietzsche.I won't choose to surrender to the Satan-Chinese Communist Party and my evil neighbours. If one day,i was executed by Communist party like Anne Frank,my parents were persecuted into the politic pariahs.I guess my neighbours will celebrate. I really can't stand more,why God will give me this mission?Why is there no helping me after i did so many things to inherit the Chinese Classical Culture and fight for the Human freedom? If i had a choice,I really want to be Adolf Hitler,Pol Pot or Stalin.I guess only the Blood,revenge and dark power can heal my mental trauma.Surely,i won't have that chance,so i only could follow God's Revaltion and be the Saint.Peter without Jesus' gospel in this Modern Sodom,in this dark period.
6 people like this
5 responses
@just4him (317241)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
25 Mar
Keep the faith and stay the course.
1 person likes this
• Hangzhou, China
26 Mar
Thank you,i'll try.I gradually feel i become mean and ignorant,because i only can know the world from Chinese Internet and Chinese Ideology.I try to resist its brainwashing,that's too difficult. I guess i push myself too hard and turn myself into a monster.Maybe i need to learn let something go and cool down,then i'll find a way out.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317241)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Mar
@choijungeun You don't seem like a monster to me. You express yourself well regarding how the Chinese government is toward people and how hard it is to be a Christian in that society.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (36466)
• India
25 Mar
I'm so sorry to know about the tough situations you are facing.Wish you a free and a very very happy life.
1 person likes this
• Hangzhou, China
25 Mar
Only one apostles of Jesus had a happy ending,rest of them all lived in the hell,and no god would save them and their Messiah Jesus. It's the fate of Messiah and his follower.When you want to be picked by God,you have to pay the unimaginable price.I guess i'm Lot in Sodom,the Abandoned Apostle,so i live in this hellish life but still keep my mind clear.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (36466)
• India
25 Mar
@choijungeun Thanks for commenting back.I'm a Hindu and am very happy with my religion.
@snowy22315 (182175)
• United States
25 Mar
Very sorry about your situation. It must be very difficult.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (90464)
• Arvada, Colorado
25 Mar
I am glad you still hold on to your work.
1 person likes this
• Hangzhou, China
25 Mar
I had stopped writing poetry,now i'm translating my main works into English,including religion,politics and philosophy.They're like Confucius "Analects",so people can easily know my thoughts.I'm still working on it.This will be my last shot,because i really feel tired after so much failure.
1 person likes this
• Nairobi, Kenya
25 Mar
I'm really sorry you have gone through hell on earth. But you are really strong to chose to be a saint and not revenge.