Will you be annoyed by Neighbours

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Every night,when i tried to be immersed in the work,the neighbours always would whisper loudly. They're my aunt and uncle,the unlce is the elder brother of my dad.When i was born in this world,they've tried to throw me down on the ground from balcony. Were they trying to murder a baby?Yep,they wanted to kill me when i was just an infant.Because my dad and his elder brother are the vendetta. When you knew how dark and evil my life is,you will be surprised why still i keep mind clear and not turn into a psychotic criminal.Because i have my mission on this world that is purging the sin of my previous life and warn the whole world to cherish their freedom before Communist Party conquer the whole world. That's the reason why still i don't choose to commit the suicide.This hellish life,every second,i can't stand it any more. The China,The Communist government,the Psychotic parents,the evil neighb ours,all want me to die,all push me into the bottomless hell. But i have to finish my work,i won't die unless i see a gleam of hope that i could be Chinese John Keats or Friedrich Nietzsche.I won't choose to surrender to the Satan-Chinese Communist Party and my evil neighbours. If one day,i was executed by Communist party like Anne Frank,my parents were persecuted into the politic pariahs.I guess my neighbours will celebrate. I really can't stand more,why God will give me this mission?Why is there no helping me after i did so many things to inherit the Chinese Classical Culture and fight for the Human freedom? If i had a choice,I really want to be Adolf Hitler,Pol Pot or Stalin.I guess only the Blood,revenge and dark power can heal my mental trauma.Surely,i won't have that chance,so i only could follow God's Revaltion and be the Saint.Peter without Jesus' gospel in this Modern Sodom,in this dark period.