Some abused people become abusers

@dya80dya (36773)
April 20, 2024 11:01am CST
Did you know this? I live with my parents. My mom has sometimes abusive behavior, she yells at me. Yesterday she said that she would hit me if I didn't leave the kitchen. My father offends her and his behavior is awful. I think she learned to be like him. But at least she sees that she has a problem. She apologizes and tries not to repeat her mistakes. I think that they both need therapy. My brother lives in a different town and he says that he doesn't come often because is tired of their conflicts. Children suffer the most when parents have such a relationship. I am not saying that all abused people become abusers, but some of them do. The best solution would be to have my own money and live alone. I will try my best to study and have a job.
6 people like this
7 responses
@RebeccasFarm (90295)
• Arvada, Colorado
21 Apr
Yes they try to release the abuse onto another person..I understand. Still, I am sorry you have to deal with this awful situation Diana. Is there ever a way for you to get on your own, ever?
1 person likes this
• Arvada, Colorado
24 Apr
@dya80dya Yes I know you have stated this..I surely wish I had a lot of money to help you.
@dya80dya (36773)
22 Apr
A job is a way for me to get on my own. Money keeps me stuck. Disability is less than $100. I can't live with less than $100. The rent is $200, the food is expensive. I can't even pay two bills with less than $100.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471969)
• Switzerland
21 Apr
It is humans to want to abuse others if you have been abused when young, but it's wrong. You are so right, you would be a lot better if you could have your own place where to live, far from the continues conflicts between your parents.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471969)
• Switzerland
22 Apr
@dya80dya I am really sorry your Mom refused. I hope you can have your place.
@dya80dya (36773)
22 Apr
My brother and my therapist told me that I should have my own place. I asked my mom if she could help me live on my own and she refused.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (71519)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Apr
It's a vicious cycle, especially ifthe abused sees the behavior as "normal". It's a good sign that your mom tries not to repeat past mistakes.
1 person likes this
@dya80dya (36773)
22 Apr
She tries not to repeat her mistakes, but she always repeats them again and again.
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@kaylachan (71519)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
22 Apr
@dya80dya Human nature at it's finest.
@MattMeng (3445)
• Hangzhou, China
21 Apr
A very sad thing is that domestic violence can also occur through intergenerational transmission. Some children who were abused by their parents when they were young will also be subjected to domestic violence against their own children as they grow up.
1 person likes this
@MattMeng (3445)
• Hangzhou, China
28 Apr
@dya80dya Very difficult to avoid it.
@dya80dya (36773)
22 Apr
Yes, this is very sad. I wonder if a solution exists.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37369)
• Toccoa, Georgia
20 Apr
I agree that abused people become abusers a lot of times.
1 person likes this
@dya80dya (36773)
22 Apr
This is sad, but it's reality. Some women who are abused in childhood marry with abusers later in life.
1 person likes this
@anya12adwi (9806)
• India
20 Apr
There was a saying we become what we hate the most! Also, there two set of people- who break their cycle and who loops in the same cycle!
1 person likes this
• India
23 Apr
@dya80dya All we need is introspect from time to time
@dya80dya (36773)
22 Apr
This saying is so true. I noticed this in many cases.
1 person likes this
@Sojourn (13837)
• India
20 Apr
Yes, I believe so too. My wife has got a lot of temper and that she learnt from his father
1 person likes this
@dya80dya (36773)
22 Apr
This is sad but hard to avoid.
1 person likes this