My friend said it "doesn't occur" to her....

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I have mentioned this friend a handful of times in the past. Some may remember. She's the one I met at the childcare course who I did a lot for over the years such as buying her many lunches and drinks when she claimed she had no money (she lied). She's the one I threw a birthday thing for at the resort, buying her a birthday cake, all her presents, dinner, breakfast and never getting a thank you. I could go on and on with all the things she has done that gave me a gut feeling that she's not a true friend. I recently sent her and her mum flowers, chocolates and card as a family member passed away. (friend's pop / her mum's dad). So I am sad she's going through a lot and I've been checking in every day. But there's this annoying feeling in my gut (like my instincts) that she's still not a true friend. I won't type everything out. Well not right now. Maybe another time to give the full picture. But the annoying part of my brain is thinking "Where was she when I thought my Pop was going to die or while he's been unwell? Where was she when my Nan was sick from covid, fainted and hit head on the kitchen tiles that left a pool of blood? Where was she when Charlie (dog) passed away? Where was she when I had to say goodbye to my Leilah (cat)? She's never really asked me anything about any of the tests I've had done or the results unless I prompt her in some way about it. Not to mention the insults about my being a bit older than her or insulting my intelligence that she knows upset me but she "finds funny" (her words exactly). And the 3 - 4 times she has been there, it always comes with a price. It's never a "No, I'm your friend, I will be there. No need for money or buy me dinner" Nor a follow up with me to see if things are better. I think about people too much. That's my caring nature I've always had but I can feel myself starting to get very hostile towards those who don't show that kind of care back in my dark times. It was late last year my friend and I had our first argument. And it was because I am getting tired of her attitude and realising that she hardly ever checks in with me, she's told fibs to make her life sound more sad than it is for attention which I don't like cause I stress too easily, she hardly thanks me for anything. It's a whole thing. I feel used and taken for granted and I realised, this girl knows nothing about me. She never asks anything about me, my family, my friends, my man. Nothing. I asked "Why am I your best friend?" She said "Because you always listen to my problems, check in, buy me things, take an interest in me." Like....her answer makes me feel good and bad. I feel good she's acknowledged I am a good friend to her but it's all about how I'm a good friend to her. She has nothing to say about who I am as a person that doesn't involve providing her things. I told her that I am constantly asking her questions about everything that is her and taking an interest. But I asked her, "Do you know my mum's name? Do you know how she died? What's my favourite game? What are my interests? You never ask anything at all about Adam. (my man). You never ask the status of my goals. Yet I always ask everything about you. Because you're my friend and I want to know you." To which she made an excuse for everything. "That's too personal. I didn't want to pry. That's your personal love life. I didn't want to make you sad. I didn't want to make you feel rushed." So I asked her "Why do you never want to ask me questions about anything, even basic questions?" To which she said, and which contradicts her first excuses, "It just never occurs to me." Maybe this may not make you feel the way it makes me feel because you don't know the whole story about all the things she's done that makes me feel like crap and taken for granted and used. Or does what I'm talking about give you vibes of not a true friend? She calls me her best friend but I can never call her mine because something doesn't feel right. I treat her like a best friend but she can rarely give me the bare minimum of what a friend does. I honestly do get a narcissist, not true friend, being used, feeling in my stomach. I pay for a lot, I always check in, always asking about her life, offering help, taking an interest in her interests, always talking about her and when I try to reach out it always goes back to her. Whenever she comes over, we go shopping and I'm left paying for everything and carrying all the heavy bags (never offers to help), hardly ever thanks me for anything I do. In the past instead of asking me to get her a refill of drink, (coke, tea whatever) she hands out her cup to me, not even looking at me, as if to say "More." She's 26 years old. She can't say "Please can I get...." No, she makes me feel like her slave. I'm trying to be very understanding and knowing that not everyone is the same but I am getting more and more hostile with these type of people in my life because I've dealt with these types a lot. Whether I'm a family member, friend, girlfriend, in the past I'm always the more.... attentive one. But I feel alone and neglected and unappreciated by these types. Does this make sense? I mostly just wanted to vent. Just feeling a bit angry in my heart from people who only seem to talk about themselves and never check in on others. Seems to be quite the handful in my life right now and it's been rough especially while I'm dealing with my own things too. I still make time. But where's the effort from them? Is it possible to just change my attitude? For my sake. Still care but, become less attentive? Thank you for reading.