Is it the Illusions of the Past that we Recall?

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Among the songs of my youth is Joni Mitchell's "Both sides now". The lyrics are a poignant reminder of the journey we undertook from innocence to maturity as we pass through life. The song begins with a child imagining clouds as "ice cream castles in the air". As she grows older, she realizes they only "block the sun" and are nothing magical. Her idea of love, once a romantic fairy tale of "moons and Junes and Ferris wheels." and "dizzy dancing that you feel" gets a dose of reality. As she goes through each relationship in her life she sees love as "just another show" where people hide their real feelings and you also "don't let them know, don't give yourself away". People around her are disappointed, "acting strange and they shake their heads wondering how she's changed." Not realizing that as she gains more life experience, her perspective of the contradiction and complexities of life changes her. Reality vs illusion "Well, something's lost, but something's gained in living every day" suggest losing one's innocence in exchange for adulthood. However, there is disappointment and disillusion, even a cynical view of life as nothing more than "Dreams and schemes and circus crowds". The song concludes with how she now "looked at life from both sides now". Yet, she is unwilling to let go of the past. "it's life's illusions that I recall". Memories are often tainted with regrets. Especially not being able to relive the happy times. That is because there is a distortion of perception when remembering the past. It is merely the "illusion" that you recall.