Aliens Don't Exist! (MyLot Exclusive #1664)

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Possibly due to the otherworldly topic of yesterday's outing ((It's Friday, Ya Beatniks! (MyLot Exclusive #1663. Poke around in the archives if you want to read it)), the High Council and my friend, Beldar, have both asked me to remind you that Aliens from outer space are just like Aliens from other Earth countries, they are not here to steal your job or kill you. They just want to go to work and live here peacefully like everyone else. And they don't exist. Beldar went on to add, "Mebs! You'd have to be soft in the slar pad to believe extraterrestrials even exist because they don't!" He's a driving instructor, originally from France. That might be enough proof for you that there are no Aliens but I need more than one data point. So I asked more people. I picked four friends and one relative entirely at random, so I could have a sample size of five. I calledALF, The Great Gazoo, Mork, and my Uncle Martin and asked them the same question. This is the incredible, unbelievable part: They all agreed that ETs do not exist. It's unanamious. Everyone, says that there are no aliens of extraterrestrial origin. That settles it. All five of those completely ordinary Earth people, plus the High Council, have spoken and it's official. We are alone in the Universe. Project Blue Book was a waste of time and money!