That's Not Who He Was

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Hello. How are you all? I'm not great at the moment. My ex-partner (M) passed away a couple of days ago. He was the father of my youngest child (Mini). M and Mini had not seen each other for more than 8 years. I was saddened, still, because M's death was a shock and he was only 48. I didn't really know much about M's recent life. I was only made aware of his passing by a mutual friend (his best friend). If it hadn't been for him, I'm not sure anyone else would have told us. I don't know if most of the people in his new life knew he had any family. Some have offered 'condolences to M's family' via social media posts from his work and friends. Not one reached out to Mini (who is an adult and has quite a large presence on social media). I am glad that M seemed to have found a purpose as an advocate, and that he was an asset to the community he ended up in. Mutual friends have said how friendly he always was, how he had a heart of gold, etc. But that is not the man I knew. He had a good sense of humour and good taste in music but that's everything good I could say about him. M was a liar and a theif. He abused us emotionally, financially, and by gaslighting. Apparently, M had been talking about his son, saying he had regrets, realised he'd done wrong by him, and wanted to get in touch. He had 8 years to do that and nothing to stop him. Mini does not appear to be fazed by his dad's death. My husband has been a father to him. I spoke to M's mum, and she didn't seem upset by his passing either. She is another of the family that M left behind. She seemed more shocked at hearing that M was a decent man than she was at his passing. While I am glad that M ended his life as a good and supportive man, I am sad that he couldn't be that person for his own son or for the rest of his family. I know it's not right to speak ill of the dead but I needed to get this out. I have found it difficult, though, seeing/hearing all of the positive comments and wanting to respond to 'condolences to family' with 'you mean the family he used, abused and abandoned when he realised he couldn't keep taking from them?' I have been so tired. I was more concerned about M's mum than anyone else. She's not in good health and I wasn't sure how she would take this, especially as she had lost another son as a baby (he would have been in his 40s now). Her other son was the one to tell her. Again, he was only made aware by the mutual friend. M's mum seems fine. To be honest, I think she'd grieved when M disappeared and this is closure for her. Thanks for reading. We're all OK. I just needed to get that all out!