My cat has seizures

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Blue scared me a lot yesterday. He had three seizures. My mom took him to the vet on three different days. His seizures lasted more than 20 minutes. Each seizure was long. I will be home alone with him today and tomorrow for several hours. I can't help him. Yesterday he asked for help. But how can I help him? It was so sad seeing how painful those seizures were. I was sure that he would die. I even said goodbye. The vet gave us medication for seizures and even with medication he still had 3 seizures. Today I am terrified that they can start again. We found two good vets, but they sent us to another town. They said they can't do all the tests here and we must travel to another town. And no vet from this town has the necessary tests. He needs to see a neurologist. My dad said that this problem could have been avoided if we didn't have cats. But I need to have cats. They made me smile and laugh. But now they made me sad and panicked. Firstly, the stray cat died. After that, our indoor cat was sick, and our second cat was sick after a while. And now Blue has seizures. And I couldn't overcome the death of my grandmother and that stray cat. I was already very depressed because I didn't have support at home. I cried a lot and after a few days, Blue started to have seizures. Maybe I will lose him too. Vets did many tests and they couldn't find the cause. He has a disease caused by fleas. The vet suspects brain tumor, toxins and other things. He shouldn't have seizures. His blood tests are good. Sorry for venting, but I feel I am not strong enough. This is too much and I won't receive a kind word from my dad. He just says that I shouldn't have cats. Those pets motivated me to stay alive. But they cause such sadness when they are sick.