Finding like minded people
@abhi_bangal (5523)
Ahmednagar, India
October 28, 2024 11:18pm CST
There are billions of people on this planet. But interestingly there are only a handful of them with whom you tune instantly and this tuning goes (can go) on for long period of time.
I have seen a few friends here on MyLot with whom I feel that I connect instantly. While with some of the others it takes a couple of more discussions to feel that bonding. But fortunately, with whomever I have connected, I have connected from the bottom of my heart. And got the same connection as well.
But generally speaking, it is not easy to find like minded people. I am not particularly talking about anything specific, but you will find people in your neighbourhood or elsewhere with whom you can connect. And at times you just don't feel that connection. So why is it really finding like minded people that difficult?
6 people like this
5 responses
@LindaOHio (179787)
• United States
29 Oct
Even if someone doesn't have the same interests or opinions as you do, you can still be friends. Especially when it comes to politics, there are some very "out there" opinions here. Have a good day.
1 person likes this
@abhi_bangal (5523)
• Ahmednagar, India
29 Oct
I agree with you that even if anyone doesn't have the same interests as me I can still be friends with that person. But honestly speaking when the interests differ still yes, friendship can be there. But it will be a bit time consuming.
On the other hand two people who are strangers and start sharing their voices and opinions and if they come on the same wavelength, it will be faster and easier for them to become friends.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (179787)
• United States
29 Oct
@abhi_bangal Yes, I totally agree with you.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8769)
• United Kingdom
29 Oct
I think an instant connection is very rare. It can take time to develop a connection, and many people seem too busy to take such time. Some people also judge quickly and incorrectly. I know I used to be quite shy, which some people equated to being boring. Sometimes, perhaps, there is an assumption that you have nothing in common (e.g. you find someone who doesn't share your taste in music so you never get to learn that you share enjoyment of other pursuits).
For some, personalities don't match or maintaining friendships is hard for whatever reason. I've only discovered in recent years that I share interests with people I've known for decades. I've also made the effort to spend more time with my best friend (we've been friends for 40 years) to find that she is exhausting and we have almost nothing in common.
What I am trying to say is that there may be more people with whom we could connect. The reason we don't find them is because we don't take the time to do so.
1 person likes this
@abhi_bangal (5523)
• Ahmednagar, India
30 Oct
You are talking about an instant connection being very rare? I want totally deby it. But I have two such close friends with whom I connected so fast that it was a bit surprising. And it's not like we became friends just for the sake of it. Our friendship has been now more than 25 years old. And when will look back and remember those few starting days even we are surprised to see how fast things happened between both of us.
And in this 2+ decades, nothing has changed between us. The closeness, the care for each other has been all the same. Actually it has been growing because we all have seen good and bad phases in this 25 years. So the need to have close friends is what we have understood.
I agree with your last sentence. That's the gist of what you are trying to explain, and I totally support it. There should be time for each of us to find good people. They all exist. It's just that you have to do a search. And if this happens from the other side as well, well nothing can beat that.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8769)
• United Kingdom
30 Oct
@abhi_bangal you are lucky to have made such good connections so quickly and to keep them. I have taken an instant dislike to certain people that instinct has always been correct!
With most people, I take them as I find them. I have been quite surprised, though, to have made some friends quite quickly when I moved jobs.
1 person likes this
@abhi_bangal (5523)
• Ahmednagar, India
30 Oct
@pumpkinjam My good old friend, who is now no more, always used to say, we are lucky to have a close circle of blossom friends. (We had a huge group of friends and we were always the highlight in our college days.) I didn't understand the meaning that time. Sadly, it's late, now that I know. So, I always try to treasure friends - all old and new.
But yes, there is a flip side to this thing - finding closed connections and keeping them. In the course of time, only those friends remained in touch who were really involved and attached to each other.
But MyLot has given me some new friends. And I'm trying to make sure the friendship stays in the real sense.
It's possible to happen that when you move jobs, you may not go along with new people immediately. But I'm sure you have a handful of them that you got after moving jobs. And believe me mate, these friends never leave us.
1 person likes this
@abhi_bangal (5523)
• Ahmednagar, India
6 Nov
That's exactly what I wanted to say. At you said, "Some may not agree with the way we feel." This means, some may agree with the way we feel, isn't that? I also agreed with your statement that you said in your above response. This means we became like minded people. Isn't it right?
@abhi_bangal (5523)
• Ahmednagar, India
30 Oct
Same here. I specially like to make friends here. And coincidentally I've a few of them. Some of them are my countrymates, and some of them are from overseas. But I haven't yet met anyone in person. But yes, when it comes to online communication, we are quite good at that.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (2331)
• India
29 Oct
Finding an interest in a particular subject is wasy to find. However, we humans find a person who shares an interest in a particular , generally look at whetehr they have commn interests in other areas. That is where the challenge lies. To have the person have the same like mindedness , they may have to share common demographics (not exactly neccessary) , interests , history and most importantly the same mentality to same areasof interest. This is a question of permutation and combination. We often make friends who have same mentality. However , lucky are those who share most things common and have same mentality and become friends. You have a great Diwali!
@abhi_bangal (5523)
• Ahmednagar, India
30 Oct
There are tons of things that I will agree with you in this reply in particular. As I said in the above response, it is not necessary that you should meet in person or the other person should be in your area, or should be your countrymate. It doesn't matter even if the people come have foreign origins. As long as we all share common things and common interests it becomes comparatively easier to bond with each other.
And when there are common interests, it's easy to be on the same wavelength and this is where the mentality matches.
I will not be exaggerating when I say I have a few such friends, real friends, I mean whom I have been living with for a few years now. But we have differences over certain things, our thought process do not match, we have our own opinions regarding what's going on around its but still we are blossom friends.
1 person likes this