My Sunday was a good day.
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (36707)
November 4, 2024 10:50am CST
The day started with me feeling exhausted. It was a long, long week. We had a bit of rain and some winds, but nothing like Amber had to go through with the tornado outbreak, for that, I was thankful.
My daughter called and said she was feeling better and wanted to meet and take me out to eat and visit. My son (her brother) had a headache and was tired, so a friend of his was free and they hung out together and I went. We had a nice dinner! I was close to our big Target store, so I went there to get some household items I needed. We went to Barnes and Noble (one of our favorite things to do) she bought me my cup of black coffee, and we looked at books and magazines and had such a nice time. I have several books to read and didn't need any, she and son in law got a few books for Christmas presents for his parents, who are homebound for the most part. Then we went and ate dinner, which was so, so good, and we talked for a long time as well. We catch up on the phone when we can't see each other, but it's just not the same as a real visit.
I truly enjoyed my ''mini-break'' as my daughter called it. Things have been stressful and intense lately, and I was honestly starting to have the feeling of being beat up by a massive tidal wave. I probably should have spent the extra time I finagled for sleeping, but I wanted to get out, and when she called we made it happen. She sent some treats home for her brother, too.
Do you know anyone who cares for a family member, even just part time? If you do, and you have a scrap of time and energy, call them. Take them for the coffee thing or something if it can be worked out. Maybe just surprise them and leave a note, text, email, or whatever, telling them you were thinking of them. Anything...I am lucky to have family that help when they can. Many don't have that.
I have said it before, and here I am, saying it again--the gift of time is the best gift ever, and so much appreciated.
Pixabay picture
9 people like this
8 responses
@AmbiePam (91943)
• United States
16h
I totally agree, Marie. Reach out, and let people know you care. They may (most likely they do) need a lifeline, and the smallest gesture can do it. A call, a visit, like you said, a cup of coffee, can make a world of difference. Even a card with a lovely message is something. Caregivers often feel forgotten. I hope people read your post and think about who they could be there for.
I’m so glad you got to have such a fun day. Barnes and Noble used to be the favorite store of my mom and me. It was like a world of goodness!
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (36707)
•
15h
My oldest daughter and I love bookstores, and browsing without hurrying. We've shared so many hours over books. My Dad was a big reader, and so was my aunt. You are correct, a world of goodness can be found in books.
Caregivers do often feel rather forgotten. I know you helped care for your own mother in her illness, and you know this firsthand. It's rewarding and we do it out of love, but that doesn't take away the fact that it is emotionally exhausting at times. Thank you, Amber!
2 people like this
@LovesEverybody (4006)
•
16h
Time is a precious gift. I would love to spend more time with my sister. she has much more of a life away from me
I had a somewhat similar weekend to you! just our days were reversed. I went out on Saturday.
I went out to eat but I went to lunch. My sister wasn't thrilled with taking peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and eat in her car. she won't try it! so we ate out but after i ate my meal i was thrilled i ate out. lt was great except for the green beans which were cooked in bacon fat. it wasn't bad but I like butter on my green beans like my mom used to add. i refused to waste them as my sister didn't tell me but it has to be $60+ for the two of us
I also went to Target! I went because I needed a big calendar I could put on the dining room table and put all my appointments and things I must do all year
i bought socks i have been waiting to buy and i had a $10 gift card so i bought two packages but my sister accidentally took them home as our bags got mixed up in the back of her car. I don't mind as i know i she bring them over. at least they are not left in the store and somebody else could be wearing my socks!
hope you have a super week! Glad you got to go out, it was the first time in over a month i went out to enjoy myself!
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (36707)
•
15h
It sounds like you had a great sister day together. Try not to feel bad when she wants to take you out to eat. It's good for you, if she wants to treat you, just let her. I am sure she does it out of love.
I like Target and I detest Walmart. Target is fun to walk around in, and look at the home things, etc. Hey, at least you know where your socks are, and you will get them back soon!
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (36707)
•
4h
@LovesEverybody
There are some cleaning products cheaper at Target for me than they are at Walmart, as well as some over the counter meds. Also they have good house brands with the Good and Gather items. It’s in the same area that the Aldi store is that I like to go to so it’s very handy.
1 person likes this
@LovesEverybody (4006)
•
14h
@MarieCoyle I wanted to help her pay for lunch but she didn't want any money. I thought sandwiches in her car would be unique and would save money. I am still so upset from spending all but $40 of my money last month i had to wait a few days to pay the electric bill as i had money but i sent out a large pathology bill for the growth taken off my tongue and the lab didn't cash my check i would have been in trouble. that was scary and traumatized me
Honestly, I went to Target for my calendar because I went to Walmart last year a few times and they had no calendars at all, of any size. I think this was the second time I have been in Target.
My sister usually takes me to Walmart because Target is kind of far. we were only there for her to return clothes she bought at a store at the mall near Target so we stayed in that area. Usually, if i go to Walmart it is a few minutes down the road, but there is no Target as close
My socks were a few dollars and would have been free if i didn't insist on buying my compression stocking as she has been getting cramps in her legs and they were a couple dollars. the store has such great sales! I am glad i am getting them back!
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (179715)
• United States
11h
You are lucky to have people around who care for you, and can help you out.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55318)
• Los Angeles, California
12h
You are indeed fortunate . . . your family is so thoughtful and mindful - lots of love there 
. I'm so glad you had that mini-break . . . family time is precious. My mom is still mostly independent, but I try to do what I can for her . . . I bring over meals, we take a tai chi class together, we have coffee time and chat, take walks or go shopping - and take care of some of her appointments and errands. This is on top of holding the fort with Hubby, college daughter, and high school son.
This year, my younger sister seems to have decided not to participate in this family. Besides not taking care of anything for our mom anymore, she has not even called to ask how she was. Sigh. It would be nice if she would spend some time with our mom - not even to do errands, just spend time being together. She just has her husband and dog - doesn't work, doesn't cook or do much domestics - her time is too precious for herself. I do things for my mom lovingly, but even I need a wee break - but it's not going to happen. Sorry for the rant.
. I'm so glad you had that mini-break . . . family time is precious. My mom is still mostly independent, but I try to do what I can for her . . . I bring over meals, we take a tai chi class together, we have coffee time and chat, take walks or go shopping - and take care of some of her appointments and errands. This is on top of holding the fort with Hubby, college daughter, and high school son.
This year, my younger sister seems to have decided not to participate in this family. Besides not taking care of anything for our mom anymore, she has not even called to ask how she was. Sigh. It would be nice if she would spend some time with our mom - not even to do errands, just spend time being together. She just has her husband and dog - doesn't work, doesn't cook or do much domestics - her time is too precious for herself. I do things for my mom lovingly, but even I need a wee break - but it's not going to happen. Sorry for the rant.1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (36707)
•
3h
I am so sorry she is like that and not helping. Those ''wee breaks'' mean so much...they give a person renewed energy to march on, and much needed time doing something besides caretaking. If she doesn't work, and has no children, it seems like she could arrange her time to help at least once in a while.
Sadly, when this happens and the person is no longer with us that needed the loving care, then the person, like your sister, is the saddest and most hysterical about the loss. I hope she wakes up, and realizes that nothing is forever, and you need a helping hand.
@kaylachan (68508)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15h
As you know I am my husband's full-time caregiver. But he makes sure I can make time for a bath, too. That's usually my escape. I am glad you got a break and have people who can look after your son so you can go out and get away for a bit.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (68508)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15h
@MarieCoyle It can. I just have to pop on something like a race for George and I've got a couple hours to myself. Now getting us out the door on time, that's another task and a half. One I've yet to master.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (36707)
•
15h
It does take some juggling, doesn't it? The best laid plans are often changed. Thank you so much, Kayla.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (36707)
•
15h
@kaylachan
Oh, I go through that for son's appointments, etc much of the time. He just cannot hurry...A task and a half is right!
1 person likes this
@anya12adwi (8692)
• India
14h
You have such a wonderful relation with your daughter! Hope you overcome all the hurdles thrown at you by the life!
2 people like this
@anya12adwi (8692)
• India
44m
@MarieCoyle Yay!! Glad that the literal distance now has lessened by many miles!! Oldest daughters are the bestfriends of mothers!
@MarieCoyle (36707)
•
4h
She is my oldest and we are a lot alike. I was so, so happy when they moved back here. They were in Florida for several years and wanted to come home.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (36707)
•
4h
It’s amazing how much those little breaks help and spur me on. Thank you, Eva.
@JudyEv (338657)
• Rockingham, Australia
1h
That's so nice that you were able to have some 'away' time. So good to hear.
