Honest Writing
By much2say
@much2say (55512)
Los Angeles, California
November 12, 2024 3:21pm CST
My friend was once a part of the online dating scene. She was quite conservative though. She'd try to get to know men through much back and forth email communication before she'd even consider meeting them. Good strategy, I guess.
There was this one guy that really caught her eye. She was in awe over how "honestly" he wrote. I never quite understood that. How can one tell that someone is "honest" by the way they write
?
Anyway, she eventually met up with him - lucky for her, he did turn out to be an honest guy. But I've heard about many online potentials that seemed too fantastic at the time, and they ended up not being so honest.
I could have been feeding you fake but consistent stories about my life here all these years . . . do you think I'm honest 
? Or how do you know that someone you communicate with online is actually "honest"?
?
Anyway, she eventually met up with him - lucky for her, he did turn out to be an honest guy. But I've heard about many online potentials that seemed too fantastic at the time, and they ended up not being so honest.
I could have been feeding you fake but consistent stories about my life here all these years . . . do you think I'm honest ? Or how do you know that someone you communicate with online is actually "honest"?21 people like this
20 responses
@aureategloom (9317)
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
13 Nov
i'm glad your friend had a good experience with that. maybe she has some skills you don't know of when it comes to identifying honest people
4 people like this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Nov
Ha ha - that could be true . She was truly lucky with this guy. She has dated some lousy guys in the past - but maybe she never really got to know them in the first place. At least online she did get to "write" and know this guy before even meeting him.
. She was truly lucky with this guy. She has dated some lousy guys in the past - but maybe she never really got to know them in the first place. At least online she did get to "write" and know this guy before even meeting him.1 person likes this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Nov
@allknowing She did end up marrying him! But funny because her mother was skeptical of the whole relationship as they met online. Mother was worried he could be some kind of scam artist .
.2 people like this
@Dreamerby (4623)
• Calcutta, India
13 Nov
Yeah same Question. Has anyone got married through online dating?
1 person likes this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Nov
@Dreamerby I actually know several couples that did get married through online dating!
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (180387)
• United States
12 Nov
I guess it is a gut feeling. YOu don't know but if you check into their background a bit you can at least find out if they are who they say they are..That's one thing...of course I dated someone from online once, that didn't lie about basic facts, but that didn't make him a good guy, in fact he was pretty awful in many ways, and a big embellisher to boot.
3 people like this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Nov
I trust my gut feeling, but I don't know if everyone can or should (the friend I spoke of - I just have to question her judgment sometimes ). Ah - you make a good point - that there is more "criteria" for a good person than just "honesty" itself.
). Ah - you make a good point - that there is more "criteria" for a good person than just "honesty" itself.
@kaylachan (69229)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
12 Nov
You can't always know. You have to take things with a grain of salt. However, in some cases, you can judge honesty based on a length of time when speaking with them. An honest person will remain consistant, won't change their views if they don't aligen with yours. They use good speach (most of the time) and make sure they express emotion in their writing depending on the context.
3 people like this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Nov
Agreed - you can't know - until you DO know. In a sense, we've all kinda gotten to know each other here on myLot . . . we've spent the time . . . and I think most of us stick to what we say. None of us (I hope) feel the need to make up stuff - there's no ulterior motive here. I'd say we're all pretty honest here (to each other anyway). But a "relationship" is different . . . there is more to a person we need to know beyond written words - "honesty" means so many more things.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (69229)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Nov
@much2say Relationships are complex. I perfer face to face if I'm going to form a commited relationship. I'm not interested in "dating" or a one night stand. I married my husband and that's how it's going to stay. and, we met in-person. He can't type to save his life. I'm the tech nerd in the family.
1 person likes this
.
. My friend was pretty lucky with this guy 
.
@GardenGerty (160612)
• United States
13 Nov
If the stories are always consistent and also not too over the top, possibly they are honest. In general when I was a younger person, I tended to believe some of the stuff that people said had happened to them if they did not blow it out of proportion. I guess to put it bluntly, the more someone talked about themselves and all the things they did, the less I believed them. I do not like hype.
2 people like this
.
@celticeagle (166672)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Nov
I used to be a member of several online dating sites. Most of the men weren't much and the rest didn't really interest me. I'm glad she found an honest one.
You don't know if they are honest or not. They could say anything. It takes a lot of communication and seeing if they are patient and respectful of how you feel and think.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (166672)
• Boise, Idaho
15h
@much2say .........Trust is a big issue. That's very true. I think the key is taking things slowly. If he doesn't respect your need to do that he's not the right guy in my estimation.
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Nov
My friend took a very long time to even find any potentials to chat with. Yah, she was lucky with that guy.
Exactly. It takes a while for me to actually trust someone in person . . . and if it's just in writing, you don't see the whole picture - so it'd be difficult.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112770)
• El Paso, Texas
14 Nov
You're right, most people just want to post something but it never seems untrue.
@RasmaSandra (79648)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
12 Nov
I think it depends on how open they are in what they disclose about themselves. I would never trust an online dating service ever, I had the best now I wait to meet again up above,
3 people like this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Nov
I could only really tell if I talk to a person face to face. These things are difficult "online" - especially since some people do not write in a way that reflects their true personality. I wouldn't be into online dating either. Your dear sweet Martin 
.
.1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (102523)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
13 Nov
Your writing is honest enough for me to enjoy. I do have reservations on social media when someone claims to be a celebrity and is willing to donate money to me. I have my doubts if they are sincere or an imposter using the name of the celebrity.
2 people like this
@freelancermariagrace (27783)
• Philippines
13 Nov
It can be hard to determine if someone is being honest. Getting to know a person often takes time. Some people on dating websites may be pretentious and may only be interested in money or scamming others.
2 people like this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Nov
Exactly - and I think so too. Anyone can write whatever they want . . . one can seem like they write from the heart, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are "honest". I've heard a lot of horror stories about online dating - there could very well be dishonest people there trying to hook others into their scams.
1 person likes this
@freelancermariagrace (27783)
• Philippines
14 Nov
@much2say It is difficult to discern a person's true intentions just by their writing. They may use flowery language to mislead others. Hehe
@luisadannointed (6015)
• Philippines
13 Nov
I think online dating is not for everyone. But I think digital or not, it doesn't matter, you will meet your other half in the most unexpected ways. Lol! But you know wherever we go and find new friends we should always be very careful specially when God shows red flags. We should stay away as soon as possible even though we like them so much... Because if they are red flags they will never ike us back and give the same care and respect we give them.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16756)
• China
13 Nov
Luckily your friend met an honest guy ! We may know a person for a long time without understanding his true nature, not to speak of just knowing a person by what he writes.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Nov
That is very true. Real person relations has many complexities . . . one would not be able to see all of it just through writing (it would only be what the writer presents to the reader). My friend ended up marrying this man - but even after meeting, they got to know each other in person for a long time.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (177898)
• United States
14 Nov
You don't know. Anyone could be fabricating stories to gain sympathy...I'm not. You just never know. Have a good day.
@Dreamerby (4623)
• Calcutta, India
13 Nov
Has anyone ended up getting married through online dating? I really wanted to know this. Anyone here who know people do this ?
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (10193)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Nov
i agree. honesty is like life; you get lucky or not, i feel i gave another chance to online dating recently but they are not only dishonest, i think guys are not even interested in general. i asked is he looking for a serious relationship; he answered what happens, happens. come on. i give it a day or two and i'm out and not coming back ever again, i don't have patience for wasting my time like this
i gave another chance to online dating recently but they are not only dishonest, i think guys are not even interested in general. i asked is he looking for a serious relationship; he answered what happens, happens. come on. i give it a day or two and i'm out and not coming back ever again, i don't have patience for wasting my time like this1 person likes this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Nov
For me, I am just not trusting . . . it takes a long time before I actually can say I trust someone fully - and that is in getting to know someone face to face. I've never been on an online dating situation - I can't even imagine that as I like to meet people in person. Do you think some guys just don't know how to write properly . . . I mean, they don't think about what they're saying, they just write whatever comes to mind? Someone had that opinion - I remember. I don't doubt it can be frustrating!
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (10193)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
3h
@much2say absolutely the best step and approach is to meet face to face yet, many online dudes don't want even that; i had one statement that he wants to know me better, obviously online.
absolutely, they don't know what they're writing or they think they're cool to be writing stupid things. or they are chatting with other people too so not remembering what they wrote at all. if any crowd was tough in the last decade (like in a stand-up show), that's men crowd or at least here. it is frustrating and sometimes a little bit humiliating when i have to approach first and then lead all the way, while someone is just acting or playing with me or my time. i mean, i put it very clearly that i want something serious. i guess, they don't even read the profile, which is 6 sentences in whole
. if any crowd was tough in the last decade (like in a stand-up show), that's men crowd or at least here. it is frustrating and sometimes a little bit humiliating when i have to approach first and then lead all the way, while someone is just acting or playing with me or my time. i mean, i put it very clearly that i want something serious. i guess, they don't even read the profile, which is 6 sentences in whole
@RevivedWarrior (2165)
• India
20h
There is good probability that the words which actually come from heart can be distinguished from what is mentioned from the mind. Most people who have been reading and writing conversations could pick it up easily. So , your friend spotted something written honestly. Luckily the person was also honest in whatever he mentioned. It is possible to speak about fake and consistent stories about one's life. But there is nothing for you to gain except for few cents in mylot. But when it comes to dating , it is life . They would have to meet in person and any lie would easily be caught in first or few meetings. And well, when it comes to virtual friends, it takes a long time to build trust. Take care!
