The blame game starts.

@jstory07 (139697)

Roseburg, Oregon

November 13, 2024 3:56pm CST

We were called at 4AM this morning my nephew is gone. There will be a service on Saturday. My sister in law said everyone is blaming his wife. You can not stop anyone from doing bad habits if they do not want to stop. Why would that be her fault. I was wrong about two little children. They had a month old baby. I did not know about the baby. They were told after the 13 year old daughter was born that she could not have any more children. Than nine years later she got pregnant again. So they had four children. The last three four and under. I hope his wife has family that can help her. We just got back from sending his wife some flowers. I do not know what else to do. My sister in law will stay until Sunday morning. Than she has to leave to go back to work. I guess from hearing from my other sister in law. She was yelling at his wife with those kids there after he died. All I can say what is wrong with people????

25 people like this

21 responses

Lenore Plassman

@sallypup (61088)

• Centralia, Washington

13 Nov

Times like this brings out the worst in people. One of my nieces yelled at me about what I was eating when we all were gathered to say goodbye to my Mom. Addiction is a nasty rump biting monster. I hope you will be okay.

8 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

13 Nov

The whole thing is really sad. I hope she has family to help her.

7 people like this

@BarBaraPrz (47308)

• St. Catharines, Ontario

13 Nov

@jstory07 You don't consider yourself part of her family?

6 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

@BarBaraPrz Yes I meant parents or siblings that live in the same state as her.

6 people like this

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@much2say (55601)

• Los Angeles, California

13 Nov

That's really sad . . . I understand it is a difficult time, but yelling at the wife does not help.

4 people like this

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@much2say (55601)

• Los Angeles, California

14 Nov

@jstory07 VERY rude. I mean, the poor wife I'm sure feels awful as it is. I hope she will get help and the support she needs.

4 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

No that was very rude.

4 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

@much2say I hope so to.

1 person likes this

@AmbiePam (92708)

• United States

13 Nov

I hope your kindness can show her not everyone blames her. You just can’t stop a person bent on self destruction. And Judy, my sincere condolences are to you for your loss. Your entire family will remain in my prayers.

3 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

Thank you. I am still very upset.

3 people like this

@snowy22315 (180670)

• United States

14 Nov

I am sure she feels bad enough without people blaming her for what happened. Some people just take out their pain on other people

3 people like this

@kaylachan (69646)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

13 Nov

Grief makes people behave in usually agressive ways. His now widow is the closest adult in the family to them, so she's the target. Humans in general have a habit of hiding parts of themselves from their loved ones so often don't get the help they need. The thing is, in this case, it's no one's fault except his own. And, even then, he was pretty young. So he could've easily had an undiagnosed underlying condition or abnormality that caused his symptoms to progress once he started the drinking and such.

2 people like this

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@kaylachan (69646)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

14 Nov

@jstory07 And, now you'll never know. I am sorry about the loss, even if you knew it was coming.

2 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

We will never know what triggered the drinking.

2 people like this

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@wolfgirl569 (106226)

• Marion, Ohio

13 Nov

That happens a lot sadly.

4 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

Very sad. That is why I never started drinking or smoking.

3 people like this

luisadannointed

@luisadannointed (6189)

• Philippines

16 Nov

Condolences. I hope people will stop blaming her, specially when she is all by herself, I hope too she have a family who can help her not only financially but a family support for the situation and emotional stress.

1 person likes this

@xstitcher (32461)

• Petaluma, California

15 Nov

So sorry this is all happening.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

15 Nov

Everything should settle down soon.

@FourWalls (67986)

• United States

14 Nov

I don’t know what’s wrong with people. It’s been going on since Cain and Abel, which is hardly any comfort that we’ve never learned. I’m sorry for your family’s loss. I’m more sorry for them that they can’t mourn in peace. All the bickering won’t change anything, it just makes the present and the future a lot worse.

2 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

It sure does and I hope his Aunt that lives in Colorado will help them.

1 person likes this

@LadyDuck (471497)

• Switzerland

14 Nov

I am so sorry for your loss. People always have to blame someone and there is nothing you can do to stop them. I hope his wife has family who can help.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

I hope so to. We are sending her a Visa card that should help with somethings that she will need.

1 person likes this

@LadyDuck (471497)

• Switzerland

15 Nov

@jstory07 I am sure she appreciates your gesture.

@rakski (122900)

• Philippines

14 Nov

I don't think this is the right time for blaming and yelling. I hope someone can help her instead of yelling at her. It will not help the family right now

2 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

I called my sister in law and asked what stores she shops at and will send her some gift cards.

@JudyEv (339930)

• Rockingham, Australia

14 Nov

That's very sad that there is ill-will in the family. Sometimes nothing you do will help in these situations.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

We were going to send flowers but we decided a Visa card would be better. She can pay anything she wants with it.

1 person likes this

@JudyEv (339930)

• Rockingham, Australia

15 Nov

@jstory07 I think that is a very good idea and of much more use than flowers in such a situation. Good for you.

@Dreamerby (5104)

• Calcutta, India

14 Nov

This is such a difficult situation for everyone. Wishing you strength and comfort during this painful time.

2 people like this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

The whole thing was a shock.

1 person likes this

@grenery8 (10592)

• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)

15 Nov

this thing is mostly done by women and i don't like it. he was an adult man and you can't change people and i also don't like how sometimes society dictates you need to babysit adult people. i am sorry for your nephew's passing.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

17 Nov

I am to. I did not know he was drinking a lot plus other things he was doing.

1 person likes this

@grenery8 (10592)

• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)

17 Nov

@jstory07 it's all fresh now.

@vandana7 (100280)

• India

14 Nov

I thought you all had something like FICO scores...how did they allow two loans? How about downsizing....is that possible...

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

He had good credit when he bought the house. He bought a bigger house than he needed. I think she is going to downsize when she sales the house.

1 person likes this

@allknowing (136369)

• India

14 Nov

Sad that the wife is blamed for his lifestyle.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

That is not right at all.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (218788)

• Walnut Creek, California

14 Nov

Sending peaceful vibes to their family.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

I hope his Mom does not take it out on the wife anymore. She needs to think about her grandchildren.

@Shiva49 (26680)

• Singapore

14 Nov

What a world out there for the little ones! I hope they get the care every child is entitled to.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

I hope so to. Those kids are family to.

1 person likes this

@Ronrybs (19281)

• London, England

14 Nov

Very sorry to hear such sad news. Always a bit upsetting on how people will react with bad news of the worst kind

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

People need someone else to blame.

1 person likes this

Gayle Harrelson

@2ndchances24 (8927)

• Cloverdale, Indiana

14 Nov

Some people just have no respect for others I don't know what makes them do the things they do, All I can say is God help them.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

14 Nov

I hope she has family on her side.

1 person likes this