Story Time! Humility

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Let me tell you a story about a classic case of always wanting the best for yourself—but with a twist that didn’t quite work out. A few years ago, I met this guy at a dinner with friends. Turns out, we had a mutual connection through a doctor friend. He was a decent guy, worked as a driver for Walmart, and seemed genuinely sweet. During the conversation, he asked if I was Filipina because, as it turns out, he was dating one—let’s call her A. The moment he mentioned her name, I had to school my face. A and I had crossed paths before. She’s one of those women in her 50s who act like they’re still 16, always hanging with the "cool kids" and judging people based on aesthetics. Let’s just say, I wasn’t part of her “aesthetic” crowd. Of course, I kept all this to myself. He went on to gush about how he was head over heels for her, and how dating in our small town—especially at our age of 35—is tough. I blinked. Wait, did she tell him she’s 35? He caught my expression and asked why. Unfortunately, my filter failed, and I blurted, “I think she’s over 50.” He looked genuinely shocked but quickly brushed it off, saying she looks amazing. I laughed and joked, “Well, we Asians age well!” Fast forward a few months, I bumped into him again, this time at a different spot. He was alone, a little tipsy, and clearly heartbroken. He told us they’d broken up and spilled the tea about her requirements: he had to buy them a house before she’d move in, propose with a ring worth four times his monthly salary, and cater to a list of other over-the-top demands. I can’t say I was surprised. He even joked, “So, are you single?” Nice try, buddy. Then came another get-together where A and I ended up in the same room. She had a little audience gathered around her, and she was in full storytelling mode, tearing down her ex’s new girlfriend. According to A, the new girl was “unkempt,” “a meth head,” “all skin and bones,” with “bad skin, bad teeth,” and she probably “didn’t even finish school.” She was soaking up the laughs and attention like a sponge. It was all fun and games until someone asked me if I knew the new girlfriend, too. I nodded, saying, “Yes, Dr. So-and-So is a mutual friend.” Then they asked if I agreed with A’s harsh assessment. I smiled and said, “I’m not sure what A thinks, but all I know is that his girlfriend is a published author. She writes crime mysteries and psychological thrillers—over 30 books, actually. And she has a pretty big following.” The silence was deafening. A’s face turned a shade of red I didn’t even know existed. Her audience quickly scattered, and I went back to sipping my drink. Lesson learned: Always aim high for yourself, but not at the expense of tearing others down. And maybe, just maybe, if you demand the world from someone, make sure you’re bringing the same energy to the table. Sometimes, life humbles us in ways we don’t see coming.