12/15/24 - Update On My Husband

I’m glad you are going to get to go see him. I know you’ll want to keep those visits going even when he’s in long term care. And anyone giving you trouble about that obviously doesn’t understand dementia or what you are having to consider. We have no idea what you have gone through. But we’re going to stand by you in any way we can.

I hope you get to spend some quality time with him.

Like I said in my last post, you can still work on getting him home. Long term care doesn't mean you're locking him up in a hospital and that's it. No. When you talk to the socil worker, talk about home health options. Talk about nursing options. Services that maybecome avaible to you. Don't shut the door and assume that this is it, and he's going to die alone in a hospital or nursing home situation. Or, think he'll be there for the rest of his life. You make it sound like you've given up. Long term care buys you time. More time than tradational rehab does. You still have the option to work with social workers, doctors and whoever else you need to have the help you need to get your husband home where he wants to be. When you put a person in in-patient rehab, they're there for a short time. Usually weeks to a few months to improve their quality of life. Long time care, while it can be perment doesn't have to be. Some places will set a limit on how long a person can be there. but idealy, you should be working on getting him home. Work on getting him where he wants to be. Getting you back with him, even if that means help coming in and out twenty-four seven to help you out either for the rest of his life, or until he becomes more independant. It's not over. You've just set the terms and bought yourself more time to get the help you need. Ask for it. that's part of what social workers do. If you get approved for VA benifits, those are given on indviual need. And a doctor is going to want to have an in-person one-on-one appoitment with your husband to see what services they offer. And, let me tell you, some of the things I was offered (and George doesn't qualify for), are in-home doctor's visits. (yes old school like you'd see on like the Brady Bunch or something) transportation, therapies pretty much anything and everything. They can be picky about what places they want to work with. They don't like working outside their ownsystem (unless you're hospitalized) but you sound like you've given up.

It may be over, but then again it may not be. The VA may be able to help some. You have, as of right now, made the right decision: you are in no physical condition to help him, and he’s in no physical condition to help you. I think he desperately needs some extensive medical workup so you know where he stands in terms of everything: does he have dementia? What about his broken bones that weren’t diagnosed and treated? Does he have underlying medical problems aside from the “normal” things of a person his age? It’d be much easier if you knew what can and cannot be done for him medically. And I’m here if you need me.

Have a good visit. Hope they find his phone

Sending all my hugs and love to you h Praying for you and your husband

I am glad you are going to see him today. I think it is important to spend as much time as you can with him even under these circumstances. You will be glad you did, and being a presence will help ensure he gets decent care.

I feel for you, it is not ideal that a couple live out their years under separate roofs, but at least you are living them out. I know that dementia is such a cruel illness that can cause such dangerous situations to everyone immediately involved, that would include yourself. The visits will become the best moments of your days, and his too.

Linda, may be that later you can manage to obtain home health nursing. Your husband, in the meantime, will be a lot better in a long term care facility, without the stress to have PT every day and hopefully with better food. Resting and being more relaxed could be the best therapy for him.

I hope that you get to have a good visit with him.

Glad at least you are seeing him today. I hope you can find a good way to tell him what will be happening and continue with visits to him, Virtual hugs and blessings to you both,

Is it that far to the nursing home? Could you find other ways to get rides to go visit with hubby? I don't have a clue on what to say other than my heart is with you.

You can't think that way "last days with my husband" It sounds like you expect him to die in the next few weeks he might get better you got to have some sort of hope.

I hope that you can still visit him. And this is not the end. Another thing might come up in the future. We are with you. Can you call him to the room phone? Here there are inexpensive cell phones that can be replaced. I know that because my youngest granddaughter has one and she loses it often at school.

I do not know what to make of that, hope it works out. Life to is hard sometimes. Its like that you work so hard for everything and it gets taken away in a heart beat. Its never fair, but hang in there is what I supposed to say I guess.

I am sorry he lost his phone. Hugs to you my dear Linda.

I am glad you are going to see him.

Like I said in my last comment, all I know to say is I am so sorry...I wish things were better for you both.

I pray for both of you. Sending love to you and your husband