My son is amazing

Tweet

It's been a crazy busy 2024 and now that it's coming to a close, I can't help but reflect on the crazy year I've had. We have spent the year taking adventures and trying to make memories with our son. We have had a lot of bad things happen that I won't get into, but it has really made me appreciate everything I do have. I think the most difficult part about it all is knowing how powerless I really am sometimes but somehow, we keep moving forward which is really all you can do. This year has proven yet again how amazing my son is. We've been having some car problems lately and we need to buy a different car, so we are unable to give our son the Christmas he really deserves not that he'll be without. We have always managed to make sure he has a Christmas it will just be smaller than usual. I told my husband that our son is blessed because he has two parents who love him and put him first and while no he won't have a bunch of things to open he has everything he needs. He has nice clothes, food in his belly, unconditional love and we have spent the whole year doing day trips and making memories with him. My husband was feeling like a failure because he couldn't give our son the Christmas he wanted to, and he said our son deserves it and while he is right our son does deserve everything he gets and more not that he's entitled to it but he is just this amazing kid and he really does deserve the world because he is my world. That said, we didn't want him to be taken off guard when the tree was a little more empty than usual this year so we told him he would have a little less this year and our son smiled and said "That's ok, you don't have to get me anything and I'm not just saying that, you work hard and I have everything I need." He was so matter of fact about it and so understanding that it just blew our minds. Everyone says he's spoiled but I can tell you right now he doesn't act like it. He is grateful for every single thing he gets and that he has. He knows we work hard for our money, and he expects nothing but is happy for everything he has and he almost never asks us for anything. We have always tried to be honest with him about what we can and can't afford because we want him to know that things cost money and let him know he can't always have everything he wants. He's our only child (my husband has two adult children but that's another story) and yeah he does get a little spoiled at times but never to the point where he feels entitled. We always make sure he knows how lucky he is because I work with kids who have almost nothing and often come in smelling terrible wearing the same clothes for the fourth day in a row. I remember everyone telling me he was spoiled because we would buy him something when it wasn't Christmas or his birthday or we'd do stuff with him and I kept thinking how is that spoiling him? I see parents who really do spoil their kids and their kids feel entitled to things whereas we have always let our son know that he can't always have everything he wants but yeah we treat him sometimes. I had my siblings lecturing me on how I was raising him at times. How I didn't let him just go with whoever wanted to take him or how I let him sleep in our room for several years or how we would take him places and buy him things. I always felt like everything I did was wrong. Now he's this incredibly sweet kid that most people love. I was told he wouldn't be social because I didn't let him go with people when he was really young (he didn't want to so I didn't make him), he is incredibly social, I was told he would never sleep in his own room which he does now and loves his independence, I was told that he was going to be spoiled, he isn't. All of these things people were judging me on and my son is this incredibly sweet kid who most people love. We have definitely had our struggles with him over the years he isn't perfect because he's a kid but he's amazing and sure my parenting isn't always perfect because I'm human and I make mistakes, but I had to have done something right somewhere. My son has never had set chores it's always a help out when I need you kind of thing until we got cats because we felt he was responsible enough to take care of them and taking care of the cats is his only set chore that he has to do every day and we have since added a few things in here and there as we go and then he helps out when we need him. I make dinner every night and I will do the dishes that come along with prepping, and he does the after dinner dishes and clears the table. We go to the grocery store and my son's job is to bring in groceries and put them away. Everyone always acted like we never made him do anything which isn't true. My son is genuinely sweet and hates seeing me in any sort of pain or struggling. Yesterday, I wasn't feeling the best but wanted to get the house cleaned up because with us getting home late all week things have just kind of gotten plopped down and we haven't had time to clean during the week so typically we straighten up on the weekend and yesterday I just felt sore and cruddy and my back was hurting so I couldn't bend so I just asked my son to clear the table since my husband loves to lay all of his work stuff on it and pick up the stuff off the floor that the cats knocked there and vacuum while I took a shower and that I'd make dinner when I got out, when I got out of the shower I was shocked to see he went above and beyond. He rearranged the entire dining room and started on the middle room. I didn't ask him to do extra and didn't expect it and he told me he wanted to. He says he knows he sometimes complains when I ask him to do stuff but that he loves me and appreciates everything I do for him and it just hit home just how amazing this kid is. I had a talk with him the other day about his math grade because it was a D and he wasn't turning stuff in on time and he wasn't bringing stuff home and I told him if some things didn't change I was going to be taking his phone and he'd only have it right before school until I got home from work because that's how he lets me know he makes it to and from places safely and that it'd only be so I can communicate with him but that I'd be taking it once I was done with work. He didn't get super upset I mean he wasn't happy obviously, but he told me he understood and knows it's because I love him and want him to do better and that while he wasn't happy, he didn't blame me and still loves me. I mean he understands that everything we do we do because we love him including disciplining him. I talk with him every night and make sure he understands I love him and that I make mistakes but that I never do things because I want to be mean and he always assures me he knows and I just think man this kid is amazing. He isn't perfect but boy is he a good kid and while I'll never be sure what part I played in it and what part is just him I figure I had to do at least something right there. People judge me all the time for how I parent him but he's incredible so they can continue to judge. I'm ending the year knowing that if I've done nothing else right this year I've continued to raise an amazing kid and really, that's all I can ask for. May next year be full of better memories and less worry and sadness for my family and may it be another year to show my son how amazing he truly is especially when he's being particularly hard himself because of his anxiety giving him self doubt that he's anything less than amazing.