12/23/24 - Update On My Husband
By LindaOH
@LindaOHio (181821)
United States
December 23, 2024 12:51am CST
When we got to the facility we found my husband dressed and sitting in a wheelchair by the nurse's station. His roommate said that was the first time in a week that he's been out of bed. That doesn't make me happy at all. I asked my hubby when he got his last shower. I think it's been a while. I need to call the social worker again today to see if she's found out about physical therapy and to see what their policy is regarding getting residents dressed and out of bed.
His roommate seems nice. He's only 45. He does snore really loud; but he should be fine.
There are no room phones in long term care. I brought my husband his cell phone. He seems to have lost several of his possessions in the move. His flashlight, phone number card, scissors, some of his pop and a lot of his candy are gone. That's just what I could tell from a quick inspection.
He is still really out of it. He's hallucinating and gets angry quickly. He said he didn't eat much the last week. He looks so thin and frail. Nothing like the husband I had back in February.
Thank you for your continued prayers, support and thoughts.
Photo Credit: Pixabay
18 people like this
15 responses
@NJChicaa (120158)
• United States
16h
I would contact the state and county to try to find a senior advocate. I know you can't visit every day to check on him but there are people who can. . . even if it is a few times a week. Someone needs to be checking on him regularly. He can't advocate for himself and doesn't understand what is going on.
5 people like this
@LindaOHio (181821)
• United States
14h
I can call the Ombudsman. I got an immediate response when I called the last time.
6 people like this
@FourWalls (69060)
• United States
7h
@LindaOHio — what Jill said. The ombudsman, in the end, works for the company.
@LindaOHio (181821)
• United States
14h
He needs to see several doctors. They provide transport. It costs $280 for each appointment.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (51414)
• Canada
12h
You know, they may have kept his scissors from him when they moved him as a safety measure.
If he has dementia sharps like that are not safe in his room not just for his own safety but for the staff and if other residents wander in and find them.
I hope that he can be assessed by a doctor as those hallucinations could be part of the diagnosis or due to medications interacting negatively in his system, he could have intolerances to something he is on. I think that this could be causing him to not eat, and obviously him sitting at the nursing station as he was, is indicative that the staff are keeping a close eye on him.
You and he are fortunate that he has such a young roommate. He could help you fill in the gaps when your husband cannot or does not communicate with you.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137638)
• United States
7h
Write your hubby's name on the new phone in permanent marker. That way nobody can claim they "didn't see" his name on it and it's less likely to be stolen if the name can't be easily removed. (It will reduce the price of resale if you ever upgrade his phone but that's a small price for keeping it safe(r) and, hopefully, with him where it belongs.)
Everything he owns should have his name in permanent marker.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38744)
•
15h
If you can, write his name on a stick on tag and put it on his phone. Or ask someone at the nurses station to do it for you. When people are delusional and have hallucinations, often their belongings get tossed,lost,or they throw them when they are angry. It may save you the cost of another phone.
I’m sorry he is not doing well. I know it’s very difficult to see him so weak and fragile.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38744)
•
14h
@LindaOHio
I hope it helps if it gets misplaced. My friend is a nurse in a nursing home not far from me, she says they ask the families to do that because so many residents set their phones down and forget where they put them.
You’re more than welcome.
1 person likes this
@Beestring (14697)
• Hong Kong
15h
He needs someone to check on him regularly. It appears that he cannot take care of himself.
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (181821)
• United States
14h
His roommate is telling us what is going on.
3 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (47683)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
9h
When you said he was up and dressed, I thought it was a good thing, but no? Did he dress himself or did he get help?
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (182247)
• United States
11h
I hope you can get some answers about hubby. It has to be so frustrating and heart breaking.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (71827)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
4h
Part of that's to be expected. He's been in a hospital or hospital-like setting for nearly a year. Except for a short not even twenty-four hour stent where he fell. And, if he's not being given a shower at least once or twice a week, then residents are being neglected and you need to consider somewhere else, or get him on palative care or something so that you can get him home.
@wolfgirl569 (108244)
• Marion, Ohio
9h
That doesn't sound like a good place. Hope you can get him in a different one
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (80812)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
2h
I wish the very best for him but I see that he really needs constant care, What does the doctor say about his altered state? I keep praying, Many blessings to you both,
@sallypup (61648)
• Centralia, Washington
5h
A 45 year old person is in that home? Oh my. I hope your husband has better days. And you, too, of course.
@FourWalls (69060)
• United States
7h
I hurt so badly for you. For his roommate, too: what’s a 45-year-old doing in a nursing home. 
