Trying not to sweat the small stuff/sense of humor/ learning to be ok with who I am

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I've never understood people who get so worked up over the small things. I have always had a great sense of humor and I laugh off a lot of things and maybe sometimes I laugh at things I probably shouldn't but that's who I am. Life is too short to be upset all the time. If I didn't have a sense of humor I'd be pretty miserable all the time. I've always enjoyed flying under the radar and I hate any form of attention. I enjoy sitting in the background and just watching and observing and that's where I've always been the most comfortable. People often ask me how I can handle doing the job I do with one of the most difficult groups in the school (I've been with them from kindergarten through third grade) and I always tell them the same thing patience and a sense of humor. I don't do what I do for praise, if I did, I'd be sorely disappointed. Paras are seldom if ever recognized in anything. We are just there in the background helping from behind the scenes which makes sense for me who once again hates attention or praise. I just want to do my job, make a small difference, and go home. In between, I get to enjoy the love and laughter of all my little friends. I laugh so much during the day because instead of being offended by everything I decide to find the humor in it. Friday I was invited by the reading teachers to do a little game where I would win a little gift and they were like "smile" and the one intervention specialist was like that's just her she HATES any kind of attention. She wasn't wrong. I'm socially awkward and as a whole, I keep a pretty straight face but I do smile and laugh a lot but I am not one to just fake one. My face has always pretty much shown how I'm feeling. I do laugh a lot and find the humor in things and I am sarcastic. That's just part of me. I see everyone out socializing every morning at work but I don't. I find my chair in the classroom and sit down and play on my phone. I am there to do my job and I do it. I am not someone who enjoys socializing. Socializing exhausts me and I know that working throughout the day is already going to take a lot out of me, so I save it for work. It's not that I don't like my coworkers I do but I'm just not a small talk kind of person. I've always spent my life in the shadows being there but barely. I have and had friends but I've never been one who has to be around them all the time and I enjoy my peace. I love the people I love and I'm incredibly loyal to those I care about. I'd go out of my way to help people I care about but I also go distant sometimes because I just need me time. I need to recharge after being social. It takes so much from me to be social. I have heard that having a great sense of humor is a coping mechanism to be able to deal with life and maybe that's what it is for me. My close friends have always told me how hilarious I am but the people who just know me from work or even my own family they don't know that side of me. I just come off as serious or sarcastic. I'm also a bit distant to most people. I'm just not one to enjoy putting myself in social situations. I've struggled between wanting to connect and make friends and wanting to be left alone and I've gotten used to the idea of being a loner. I know people probably talk about how weird and awkward I am and for the most part I don't let it get to me too much. It used to bother me more when I was younger and now I've just accepted I am who I am and that's ok. I have who and what I need in my life. I love my job and what I do. I love hanging out with the kids all day even if it is hard and it exhausts me. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I continue to laugh at things that might offend others. I have learned to not take myself so seriously over the years. I am who I am and that's ok. Yeah, I hate attention, yes I am distant, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I care enough that I keep showing up to work. I laugh daily and I socialize when I need to but I am not going to be someone who just hangs around to talk to people. I'll always be the person who sits on my own at PD (Professional Development) meetings so I can just absorb what's being said without being distracted. I will always be the person that comes in and chills by myself in the mornings instead of going from room to room to talk to people. I'm always going to be a little distant because that is who I am. I used to analyze it and question what is stopping me from being more social and I realized that I just don't enjoy small talk. I hate opening up and giving my life story to people who I don't know very well so I just don't talk. I listen. I know more about the people I work with than they know about me. I can tell you their favorite food, their favorite color, their likes and dislikes for the most part but most of them don't know the first thing about me. Last year was the only year I was with a teacher that cared enough to ask. I was kind of in shock over it. I never enjoyed talking about myself in front of people but I did and I have to say she was probably my favorite person I have worked with so far and I've always liked everyone I worked with but once again none of them really know me. They all know I'm distant and most haven't pushed me to talk too much and once in a while I share something here or there but for the most part, they don't know a whole lot. I've shared a few crazy stories from my childhood or family history, but I don't talk about my favorite anything. They all know I don't take myself seriously and they see me laugh all the time but beyond that I don't think they know a whole lot about me. I think it's interesting you can see the same people day after day and not really know them. I listen and observe a lot so I do know some things about people but ultimately I still don't really know them and they know next to nothing about me apart from the fact that I am related to a lot of people that work for the schools and that I'm pretty low maintenance and easy going/laid back. I don't have a work best friend. I have work acquaintances. I have people I like at work and I'll socialize with when I need to but who I don't spend any real time with. I'll wave and say hi if I see them in public but I don't go to work events outside of the ones I have to go to. It has taken a lot over the years for me to learn to be ok with who I am and it's still something I struggle with sometimes. I always felt like I should be more and force myself to socialize to the point of exhaustion and I've learned that's just not who I am. I love to laugh and I love that my little buddies make me laugh all day long. I love that I have a great sense of humor that helps me cope with life. I love that I don't take everything so seriously. I have been living with anxiety since my early teens and I already overthink everything I don't need to take anything else more seriously than I have to. I will always struggle with myself on some level because once again I live with anxiety but I also know to not sweat the small stuff when it comes to myself and the things kids say. I don't take every insult personally because they're kids. Kids do and say things all the time and getting upset over it all the time would make me miserable. I always tell people you can't do my job if you can't laugh and you don't have patience. You have to be social while you're working with kids there is no way to get around that but you don't have to be social with your coworkers all the time. You can enjoy the silence in the morning and in between and that's what I do because that's how I cope. I will never be the person who willingly goes into a room crowded with my coworkers. I will avoid work functions like the plague but I'm also always going to be the listener who sits and observes when there are only a few people in the room. I am going to be the person who laughs stuff off because that is how I cope and I've learned that's ok.