My Father in law died
@shaggin (73061)
United States
January 9, 2025 10:01pm CST
I saw voicemails on my phone at 6:30am that school was delayed due to cold temperatures.
I had been up all night because my little one was sick and wound up in my bed. She played with my hair all night in her sleep and I could not get her to stop so I got no sleep.
I laid around trying to rest and when I looked at my phone a few hours later I saw a missed call from my first husbands stepmother and a text from his aunt saying my father in law passed away.
I called my father in laws wife and she told me what happened. She held herself together well but I can only imagine how hard this is for her. They have a 22 year old son who is mentally retarded. It takes the two of them a lot to raise and take care of him and now it will all be on her. She was a single mom to her older son for many years but didn’t face the challenges then that this will pose on her. My heart goes out to her.
He died on the second anniversary of his brothers death which is so terribly ironic.
With having had cancer for 13 years and kidney failure and undergoing at home kidney dialysis treatments he was ill but he kept going year after year.
This was very unexpected. I don’t know all the details except that he had trouble breathing and immediately died. Why his lungs filled with blood and he couldn’t breathe I don’t know.
24 people like this
28 responses
@celticeagle (169846)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Jan
I'm sorry for your loss. He sounds like a pretty strong man.
4 people like this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
13 Jan
@celticeagle it has to be the most painful feeling ever.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (169846)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Jan
@shaggin ........losing a parent is a real tough thing to endure.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (169846)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Jan
@shaggin .......That is very said. To lose a wife and child.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
11 Jan
@LadyDuck had his kidneys just failed or he was was sick with the flu etc it wouldn’t be quite so hard on his family I don’t think. He had cancer for so long and kidney failure etc that I wondered for years how his body could take anymore. None of us expected him to go this way though. Just too bad he had so much he went through in his life.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
14 Jan
@LadyDuck I asked my father in laws sister in law who is a nurse if she knew what they said to my father in law when she went to the walk in. I don’t know if she was really telling me what they said or if she was just guessing. She said she thinks it was to the point there was nothing more they could do for him. That it was no longer the liver cancer causing the issue but the kidneys. She said with him having lympodemia in his right hand and arm that even with dialysis it wasn’t getting rid of the fluid buildup fast enough and his lungs filled up. I think she may be right on what killed him but seems if he had been told by the doctors there was nothing left he could do and to say goodbye he would have called all his family up and told his wife but he didn’t.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
12 Jan
@DaddyEvil something else that was written in the obituary upset me too. I don’t think there was the need for it to be in there. I can show you in a text rather than post it on here.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (138952)
• United States
11 Jan
@shaggin You're welcome.
Everyone is different. My family own a cemetery and they're all buried there. Except I want to be cremated when I pass away and my ashes scattered either by the river Pretty and I swam in or along the shore of the lake we swam in. (In most states that would be illegal but, in Missouri, we can be scattered along a waterway as long as we aren't scattered too close to the water.) My family isn't happy that I don't want to be buried in the family plot...
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (138952)
• United States
11 Jan
@shaggin I understand. Some family dynamics don't make a lot of sense. It leaves you wondering about them.
1 person likes this
@jefferson126 (3362)
• Shenzhen, China
10 Jan
Sorry to hear that,hope your father-in-law wife stay strong.
2 people like this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
12 Jan
@jefferson126 I think she will blame herself for awhile but it was not her fault. Even if she called for an ambulance slightly faster he wouldn’t have made it. I hope she will be okay it has to be absolutely horrible for her.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
13 Jan
@jefferson126 poor isn’t the correct word but thank you 
1 person likes this
@jefferson126 (3362)
• Shenzhen, China
13 Jan
@shaggin ,it's not her fault clearly,she is so poor,nobody would blame she.Just hope she can stay strong,she will take care of children on her own,no longer have helper.Fate is unfair to she,but no choice.Hope she can forget nightmare before long.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (39682)
•
10 Jan
Oh, I’m so sorry. It appears he was a really good man. His wife will really have her hands and heart full.
2 people like this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
12 Jan
@MarieCoyle yes he was a great guy. Always had a funny joke to tell. Always there if anyone needed help. I’ll miss him saying “yello” on the rare occasions I called him (I don’t make phone calls unless I have too I’m phobic).
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (39682)
•
12 Jan
@shaggin
It's just hard to lose people we love, no matter how old they are. We can't replace them, we can only move forward. I'm sure sorry.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (39682)
•
13 Jan
@shaggin
That's a long time to live with cancer. It is amazing he lived for 13 more years.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
13 Jan
@andriaperry thank you. I’m wondering what the walk in said. They obviously didn’t realize blood was leaking into his lungs or they would have done immediate surgery I think.
@LindaOHio (183946)
• United States
11 Jan
I am sorry to hear this. It sounds like he was well liked.
1 person likes this
Take care...
@GardenGerty (161544)
• United States
10 Jan
I am so sorry that you lost him. From the Facebook posts he seems like a really great man to have had in your life.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
10 Jan
@GardenGerty he really was. Every post I look at yesterday and today is a photos of him and worries people are sharing. He was one in a million I will miss him very much. Everyone knew him and loved him this town has lost a real gem.
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
12 Jan
@BarbaraPrz thank you. We went to a luncheon for him today at his brothers house. I thought there would be a ton more people so it was nice. All that was missing was his loud laugher 
1 person likes this
@allknowing (138910)
• India
11 Jan
May his sould rest in peace
His widow will now have to handle that son of hers alone
1 person likes this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
12 Jan
@allknowing they had him late in life and my father in law lived many years longer then I thought he would with all his health issues. She was 40 when she had him and he was 50.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (70024)
• United States
10 Jan
I’m so sorry for your family. Prayers for you all.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (73061)
• United States
12 Jan
@Fourwalls thank you. My older two kids and I are going to a luncheon today in his honor. A nice thing to see everyone but a sad reason to .
.1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (81617)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
10 Jan
My condolences for the loss and I will put her in my prayers,
1 person likes this
