Are you for surprise birthday parties?
By Amber
@AmbiePam (95111)
United States
January 10, 2025 12:52pm CST
Have you ever had a surprise party? My sister wants to have a surprise party for my dad’s 70th birthday this coming June. While my dad would initially say he didn’t want one, I know he’d have fun at it. My sister and I seem to have different ideas on a few things. She thinks we should tell everyone who wants to come, to show up. I think that’s asking for trouble, and knowing how many friends my dad has, plus his big family, hundreds could show up. She said just tell everyone to bring a dish, and we’d provide the main course. Oh, boy.
Because she’s paying for it (I’ve volunteered to do a lot of the work since I can’t provide money) I feel obligated to let her have her way, but I think I’m going to have to really discuss limiting the guests. For family, just invite his brothers and sisters and their spouses (that’s 13 people right there) as a start (his family lives 3 hours away). I think we have to invite his church. So far my dad’s wife says she thinks she can keep it a secret (we’d invite Diana’s brother and Sister-in-law). I think if we invite too many people he’s going to feel like he needs to entertain everyone, and not be able to enjoy it. He always wants to make sure people are enjoying themselves.
There’s plenty of time between now and then. I’m sure we’ll get it figured out.
22 people like this
24 responses
@FourWalls (70024)
• United States
10 Jan
Just make sure your dad doesn’t hate surprise parties. 
4 people like this
@snowy22315 (183623)
• United States
10 Jan
Wow, I guess you would have to have it at a church. I mean unless you rented some kind of huge pavilion or party barn it would be really hard to have it in a conventional restaurant or something. We threw a surprise party for my dad's 75th, and he said it was the best birthday he ever had. We tried to have one for one of friend's milestone birthdays , but the stupid pandemic interfered. Now that restaurant is closed down permanently.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (95111)
• United States
11 Jan
@snowy22315 I wish I could limit the church invitations, but you know with the case of churches…if you invite one you have to invite all. People would really get their feelings hurt.
I’m also hoping my sister’s husband will point out what is and isn’t practical, like you mentioned.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (183623)
• United States
11 Jan
@AmbiePam I don't know how many people attend the church, but I could easily see the guest list going into the hundreds. It could get overwhelming. I think your idea of setting some kind of limit is a good one, but since Sis is paying, of course she will have the final say. You can just point out the practicalities and impracticalities of certain ideas.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8818)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan
I hope you do figure out something that your dad will enjoy. I wouldn't plan a surprise party (certainly not a big one) for anyone without being sure they'd like it. I planned a surprise party for my big sister on both her 40th and 50th birthdays. She said she wanted a surprise party 
She'll give a year's notice so she'll forget she's said it (and wouldn't actually expect anyone to do it). I wouldn't do any such thing for my little sister because she'd hate it.
It's my mum's 70th birthday soon. We're doing nothing for her because she doesn't like doing things or having fun. I know people think they're being thoughtful with surprises or thinking the person should enjoy it, but sometimes the person planning it thinks about what they want rather than the surprisee.
Personally, I'd love a surprise party but I wouldn't trust anyone to plan anything better than I'd plan for myself
She'll give a year's notice so she'll forget she's said it (and wouldn't actually expect anyone to do it). I wouldn't do any such thing for my little sister because she'd hate it.
It's my mum's 70th birthday soon. We're doing nothing for her because she doesn't like doing things or having fun. I know people think they're being thoughtful with surprises or thinking the person should enjoy it, but sometimes the person planning it thinks about what they want rather than the surprisee.
Personally, I'd love a surprise party but I wouldn't trust anyone to plan anything better than I'd plan for myself 2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8818)
• United Kingdom
12 Jan
@AmbiePam If he doesn't like it, you can blame his wife then 
I'm sure ehe will.
I'd love to have a party with all my myLot friends!
I'm sure ehe will.
I'd love to have a party with all my myLot friends!1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (95111)
• United States
11 Jan
My first inclination is that he wouldn’t want a party (he gets sheepish when events are for him) although he’d end up enjoying it. But then his wife told us she thought it was a good idea, and I thought, well if his wife okays it…?
I’d attend any party you’re at!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (95111)
• United States
12 Jan
@pumpkinjam That’s the great thing about being married to my dad. His wife can do no wrong. But his kids sure can!
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51917)
• Canada
10 Jan
It sounds like a great plan, I like your version of it much better.
It could just be too much if it were open to too many.
And how do you plan for such a crowd?
One of my brothers and his wife did a surprise anniversary party for my parents about 30 years ago.
They somehow got them to a restaurant, and we all had the buffet, but when the bills were handed out, my Dad called my brothers and my husband to go out in the hall with him. He did not want the guests to pay, and my brother was presented with the bill. He called my Dad, my hubs and the other 2 brothers out into the hallway to discuss payment.
My Dad was made to have to pay for the bill with a promise from all of the 4 that they would pay him back within the week. It was so embarrassing.
I would never want anyone else to go through that, and it wasn't much of a celebration when my Dad had to do what he did. I know that it left my parents with a bitter memory when that was not my brother's intent.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (95111)
• United States
11 Jan
@Juliaacv You and I are on the same wave length. I was thinking food bank, but he’d really like a back to school supply drive. His best friend’s church does a school supply drive, and we could send any collected items to them to distribute. I love that idea, Julia!
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (138952)
• United States
10 Jan
I hope you all have fun however many people you invite.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (95111)
• United States
10 Jan
@DaddyEvil That is how I feel too. This party is going to be incredibly hard for me to attend. I just don’t feel comfortable around anything close to a large group of people.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (138952)
• United States
10 Jan
@AmbiePam I'd love to, thank you, but I'm actually kind of shy and would feel awkward. 
1 person likes this
@aureategloom (11069)
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
10 Jan
i don't think it's a bad idea to invite everyone, it's 70th birthday after all 
inviting family members only is good too, more private and maybe he'll feel more comfortable. i hope you figure it out 
inviting family members only is good too, more private and maybe he'll feel more comfortable. i hope you figure it out 2 people like this
@aureategloom (11069)
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
10 Jan
@AmbiePam huge cake seems like a good option. you can do 100 muffins or something
i don't think anyone's going to come because they want to eat, but because they love your dad
i don't think anyone's going to come because they want to eat, but because they love your dad 1 person likes this
@allknowing (138910)
• India
11 Jan
I can see a lot of discussing has yet to get over with. Wish you luck and may your idea win
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (183623)
• United States
11 Jan
@allknowing 27 different kinds of potatoes lol.
2 people like this
@allknowing (138910)
• India
11 Jan
@AmbiePam I was just thinking if all brought a dish what will be the outcome
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (73482)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
10 Jan
I think you should talk to both parents and see about hosting a family reunion instead.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (73482)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
11 Jan
@AmbiePam Just a random thought. And, who says you can't have more than one?
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (81617)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
10 Jan
I have never had a surprise party for myself but while mom and I still loved in NYC I threw her a surprise party for her 60th and for her 70th birthdays,
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (105308)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
11 Jan
I wish your dad a very happy birthday.
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (105308)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
11 Jan
@AmbiePam You are welcome.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (183946)
• United States
11 Jan
If he doesn't like surprise parties, then I definitely would keep the guest list down. Good luck. Have a good weekend.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (39682)
•
10 Jan
Could you possibly plan it my maybe having it in a large venue, the church, etc? Have someone invent an excuse to keep him busy that day while you get it ready. Line up everyone invited to bring food. Sister can get a main meat fixed and ready at home and just warm it up. Assorted cupcakes would be tons easier to have people make and transport to wherever it will be. Plus, kids will be there and the cupcakes would be tons less messy.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (39682)
•
11 Jan
@AmbiePam
Make it as easy as you can, and enlist lots of helpers!
1 person likes this
@luisadannointed (6851)
• Philippines
2h
I think when our parents says "No" it means "Yes", Lol! I think he would love to have the party. You and your sister have a great idea. God bless and may you have a lot of fun. Creating a video greetings from you and from relatives and friends he is super closed with is also a good part of your celebration. God bless.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (109728)
• Marion, Ohio
11 Jan
I would limit it for sure as you could have a whole lot of people there. It could be easier to do a few celebrations. One with family. Later announce it at church or that could even be before just letting them know it's his birthday.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14543)
• West Haven, Connecticut
13 Jan
I don't mind them I just don't like surprises
1 person likes this
