The world went on but not for me
@shaggin (74113)
United States
March 10, 2025 5:51pm CST
When my first husband died in 2011 after all the services and everything were done I felt like the title. I thought of him every minute of every day and felt like I was the only one. I’m sure it wasn’t true but it was a very isolating feeling.
Since my father in law from my first marriage died I have thought about his wife every day. I always worry it’s a bad time to message her so I say oh I’ll do it tonight or tomorrow when she isn’t working etc. That’s been going on for almost two months now and I realize this is probably how others thought of me after my first husband died.
It’s hard to know what to say there really is nothing you can say that will make them feel any better. It’s just always nice to let them know you are thinking of them though. I need to message her and the song title by weezer “The world has turned and left me here” running through my mind the past two days hopefully will help.
16 people like this
13 responses
@snowy22315 (187738)
• United States
10 Mar
Yes, it would be nice of you to reach out and let her know that you care. I hope your kids will too.
5 people like this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
11 Mar
@snowy22315 my kids are even more awkward socially then I am.
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (114467)
• Marion, Ohio
11 Mar
Just call her. You know just hearing a friendly voice can help
4 people like this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
13 Mar
@wolfgirl569 I don’t make phone calls like that. She’s wonder what was wrong when she saw my number pop up on her phone 
. I’ll get in touch with her but not a phone call.
. I’ll get in touch with her but not a phone call.2 people like this
@allknowing (143713)
• India
11 Mar
You just have to be there for her and as many have suggested just call her.
3 people like this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
12 Mar
@allknowing I do not make friendly phone calls they give me unbearable anxiety. So I will have to do something else.
2 people like this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
13 Mar
@allknowing I usually give sweets when someone needs cheering up but she had gastric bipass surgery and is careful what she eats. She loves candles and I didn’t think of that when I saw a small candle that smelled beautiful at the thrift store today. I’ll have to go back and grab it for her.
2 people like this
@allknowing (143713)
• India
13 Mar
@shaggin May be cook something and take it there?
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (145797)
• United States
11 Mar
I know exactly how you feel... When you think she's home from work, just call and visit with her. I'm positive she'd be happy to hear from you. 
3 people like this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
17 Mar
@Daddyevil I can’t make phone calls like that. I’ll do something else but have been in a funk so I haven’t wanted to be here either.
2 people like this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
18 Mar
@DaddyEvil oh gosh that had to be absolutely terrifying! I think you did the right thing and I hope she feels that way now as an adult looking back.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (145797)
• United States
17 Mar
@shaggin Yes, I've noticed your absence and wondered about you... You know you can always call or text me if you need somebody to talk with, right? (I really don't like to talk on the phone but will if you need to talk.)
(I really don't like to talk on the phone but will if you need to talk.)2 people like this
@much2say (57417)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Mar
It'd be good to reach out to her in whatever way is comfortable for you.
I realized that feeling when my father passed away a little over 2 years ago. Although most of his siblings sent or left a message of condolence to my mom, since then no one has ever checked in on my mom. I just felt so disappointed at my family - I still feel sad for my mom.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
26 Mar
@RebeccasFarm I need to. I still keep forgetting and I think of her all the time I wish I could remember at what I feel would be a good time.
@paigea (35873)
• Canada
31 Mar
@shaggin Missing her never goes away, that's for sure. Her son is a teenager now. He is smart and organized like his mom but different in every other way.
He's quiet and she was outgoing and involved in so many things. I treasure every moment with him.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (186558)
• United States
11 Mar
Even with his indiscretions, I think about my husband every minute of every day. I miss him so much. I totally understand. Yes, the grieving person does not want to think that they're been forgotten. I hope you get in touch with your MIL.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
22 Mar
@LindaOhio oh my gosh I had no idea he passed. I am so sorry the hear that. When did this happen? In my notes he was alive in November and showing signs of Sun downers.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
25 Mar
@LindaOHio I am so sorry that seems like things were quite sudden.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (186558)
• United States
23 Mar
@shaggin January 21. He was in full-blown dementia the last few days of his life. He didn't know I was in the room. Very sad.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (7782)
• Calcutta, India
23 Mar
Situations like these are indeed sad. The Sun will rise every day unbeknownst to individual sordid incidents.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
26 Mar
@Dreamerby she must wake up so unbearably sad every day. I went through that for many years so I understand how hard it can be.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
27 Mar
@Dreamerby that’s a very good way to phrase it in this situation
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (7782)
• Calcutta, India
27 Mar
@shaggin Yeah true. Life still goes on or rather just drags everybody along.
1 person likes this
@2ndchances24 (10279)
• Cloverdale, Indiana
11 Mar
I know just what you mean, you don't know what to say
or really how to say anything cause it may make things worse
but to not say anything makes it just as bad too, so the best
thing to do is at least contact them & ask how their doing
do they need some company or some help with anything.
2 people like this
@shaggin (74113)
• United States
22 Mar
@2ndchances24 yes it seems awful either way. Awful to wind up upsetting her but awful to not let her know we care as well. Tough decisions.
1 person likes this
@2ndchances24 (10279)
• Cloverdale, Indiana
22 Mar
@shaggin I think to try & let them know your there
if they need someone to talk to is the best thing to do.
1 person likes this
