All Your Fault (Mylot Exclusive #1868)

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Happy Lunar Eclipse Day, Radio Rangers! You can learn all about the Eclipse down yonder there at the bottom of the page but don't you think you should stop thinking about yourself for a minute? And start thinking about poor old President Leon Musk? His selfless dedication to public service is costing him a lot. Really. He's losing billions of dollars every day. You should be out buying a Tesler. And then you should call your broker and say, "I want to buy every share of Tesler you can get me." Then get on Twitter and Tweet, "I just bought a Tesler! The dealer was ready to deal! Then I bought 40 million shares of Tesler. Altogether, I spent almost $43!" But no. Instead of setting a good example like that, you're selfishly learning about the Eclipse. Meanwhile, Leon's personal life is going no better than his business life. He is getting topped from the bottom by his sub, Tiny D Energy Trump. Bigly! Topping from the bottom is a term used in the BDSM community to describe a submissive partner who manipulates the dominant partner’s actions or decisions. It refers to the physical act of a bottom “taking over” a scene instead of “receiving” the scene from their Top. Instead of meekly submitting the way his contract dictates, Tiny D is running their entire life. And it goes way beyond sex. I was at their house the other night---It's a really big public housing unit on Pennslyvania Avenue---And after dinner, they argued about the dishes. Leon said, "Why do I always have to do the dishes? I made dinner! You should do the clean-up!" "Because you fired all the servants and you can't afford to take me out because you're a loser who can't run a successful business! And you keep making scenes like this in front of our guests! You know I hate that! I knew I should have married Jeff Bezos! Amazon is doing great! Tesler has lost more than 50% of its' value since mid-December! Go do the dishes, Loser! You know, I could have married Mark Zuckerberg, too! FaceBook is doing great! How is Twitter doing?" Leon waved his chainsaw at Tiny D and Tiny D said, "Give it up, Leon. Everyone knows that's not a real chainsaw! It's just a prop! Fake, weak, useless and harmless! Just like the "man" holding it!" Holy doomed relationship, Batman! Leon mumbled something I can't repeat here about the overpriced Bible business and then slunk off to the kitchen. That's why he carries around a fake chainsaw and threatens to dismember everyone he sees. And it's all your fault for not buying his cars and stock! With that in mind, let's go to earlier tonight, to see what the Cosmic Universal Anthem Monologue Of The Month Club Anthem Monologue for today is. ************* USA TODAY Is the total lunar eclipse safe to look at? What to know about viewing the rare occurrence Story by Saman Shafiq, USA TODAY • 3h • 3 min read https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/is-the-total-lunar-eclipse-safe-to-look-at-what-to-know-about-viewing-the-rare-occurrence/ar-AA1ARD2e?ocid=BingNewsSerp --------------------------------- Au Revoir, Champagne | EPA Is Abandoning The Environment | Vandalizing Teslas The Late Show with Stephen Colbert