I refused help

Or she could have settled to have just one kid... Even so, working and contributing to home kitty is something to be proud about. I bet she spends most of her time in front of the television set, watching those silly movies or serials.

@vandana7 Or gossiping with the neighbors or just going out and spending money.

@vandana7 The thing is, you don't know if there is money or not. His family may have money or her family may have money but it's always better if they don't spend their money but get someone else to pay their bills.

I am so glad you are on my end of the fence. Kid should be the priority. Rest is just animal like.

@lilacskies Having kids is a selfish thing. I know how tough it has been for me to reach where I have reached. I would never put my kid through that. Why do most people do it? They enjoy the child like innocence. That childlike innocence is there in dogs too. The dogs bite. Yes. Kids can kill. Wow. Expecting the child to look after you is wrong too. Did the child ask you to bring it to the world. Did he understand that all those clothes, and festoons and cakes we buy for their birthdays and Christmas gifts carry an unstated terms and conditions of look after parents? Nope. So how can we say, we looked after them, and they are not looking after us. I just feel I cannot give the life of dinks to my kid. If I can't give that, I owe it to them to keep them out of world. Anything less would be sin. Yes, I will have to be taken care of in old age. That is what my money is for. If I had kids, I might have ended up spending on them. And gaping at them helplessly for looking after me. Better this way. So when they cry about their kids, it does not hold water with me. If they want kids, let them have. I might get lucky to have some attender in old age.

@vandana7 Thank you. I am part of a movement I can't name on here because it might offend people and I don't want them to bash me for it. The whole premise behind the movement is to prevent suffering by not having kids, but opting to adopt instead when one has the ability to do so. I am all for not having kids and bringing them into this world to suffer. I will never have kids of my own. Ever.

@id_peace In India, we are overpopulated. The problems with overpopulation are 1. It is a strain on infrastructure ...so if not planned and sufficient, we have overflowing drains, lack of drinking water, lack of hospitals and expensive healthcare, education, etc. 2. Food becomes expensive...people are quick to say stray dogs require food...true...but who asked you to have 9 children like stray dogs. 3. Ensuring employment...unemployment is high, this leads to people who are responsible taking up jobs that do not pay well, and in general having inadequate retirement savings, which in turn means their kids will not look after them. I don't blame the kids, they do not get higher education, so they too do not get enough income. 4. High crime rates...you get to live just once so if you want to enjoy life, go ahead, do wrong. The police force is inadequate to control this crime rate, so probability of catching up with you is low. Lower crimes like stealing a laptop or two are literally ignored. 5. Courts inundated with cases...too much population ..inadequate understanding of rights...smaller crimes are rarely taken to courts, because of the lengthy procedures, making these crimes a norm. Habit makes the criminals transition easily to bigger crimes. 6. Higher level of poverty makes it easier for criminals to gain control, and become political bigwigs, by paying small amounts to poor for food or drinks. 7. Unbelievable amount of litter. 8. Bad diet, because food is expensive. So people flare up very easily and because crime rates are high, there is little to control occasional outbursts, which can flare up or be deliberately ignited by politically motivated to become caste or religion or region issues. Just some of the problems we face.

@vandana7 You have a very good insight and very observant on the issue faced. Unfortunately as an outsider, when we raised the points, we are been call fake new creators and India is number one in term of superpower and modernisation. No improvement needed.....

@vandana7 I do agree which why I always donate money to the charity organisation and et them handle things. In my country, we do encourage our people to give birth more and even the government sponsored some money to help the parents to upkeep the children.

The lady should work, find some way to earn. The old fashioned outlook of man the provider needs to go. Most of these women sit at home, watch tvs, gossip, spend time talking about this function, shopping etc. Like hell, I slogged. Why must I spare for such folks. They have two hands, two legs, two eyes, and functioning ears. I find no pity in my heart for them. Laughing is not what I did, but I refused, and categorically mentioned, your wife should work. No woman who worked hard will spare for a lazy woman.

@vandana7 They need to find ways to pay their own bills for sure. I raised my kids and am not going to raise anymore.

@vandana7 You are right it has to stop.

Suppose you tell me. I can understand it if she was raped, and this guy was magnanimous enough to take her in, with the child of another person. I can understand if she is the caregiver of his parents, or her parents, so she naturally cannot take up a job. I cannot understand those who sit in front of television sets, watching inane stupid television serials, that fill them with unrealistic and undesirable values. To begin with all educated and uneducated people know they need money for food, clothing, shelter, medicines, education, transportation, security right? That is the universal truth. So what possible excuse can she have for having more kids, than she can afford, and not working?

@vandana7 No they don't use the protective measures you know. They are too casual and lack family planning. Most people like to live in the present and when you tell them to do future planning- they say that's how people develop overthinking!

State governments and for that matter even central government often use these temporary folks, who work for lower pay in the hope of being made permanent someday and thereafter get a payscale that will be sufficient for their retirement. Many school teachers working under central government or state governments do not get pay for several years at a stretch. That may be almost 10 to 15 years before they become permanent employees and become on par with others. Likewise, the clerical works in income tax departments were outsourced to some private individuals, who could be made permanent in due course. That is how government offices work. Police works, clerical works such as typing, filing, etc. is therefore, outsourced. When governments release a list of jobs they are creating, (usually before elections), these people get a chance to be made permanent. They are preferred over others.