The Muscle Pill Test

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I was proud of my older half-brother, Howard. You might even say I "worshipped the ground he walked on". He was an accomplished baseball 1st baseman. I'm sure many of you had brothers, sisters, or even friends you looked up to. How about telling us about it. Below is one particular true story in rhyme I would like to share with my MyLot friends: "The Muscle Pill Test" I worshipped my half brother, Howard. To me, he could never do wrong. I followed each fall of his foot steps My "Big Brother" syndrome was strong. His height measured well over 6 ft. His mother was really quite tall. Our father, in height, well, a "Pipsqueek" Whose stature, compared, was quite small. In baseball he played semi-pro league. On first base, he was very good. I saw him reach out for a low toss Only then was his skill understood. The newspapers caught that great moment; A photo that I saved for years. And each time I looked at that picture My proud eyes would well-up with tears. He had a real weird sense of humor, And often surprised me with it. This gullible kid was his target And naturally I often bit. One night we were sleeping together And just about entered "R.E.M." sleep; When suddenly he reached out and grabbed me And asked me this question, so deep.... "Hey Carl, are there trees in Miami?" Like a "dummy" I said, "Yes, there are." "Okay, thanks. Go to sleep", was his statement. No such humor was felt near or far! In bewilderment, I could say nothing And I turned to go back to sleep. But no sleep was available to me For the rest of the night, not a "peep"! One morning I noticed him taking Some strange supplements in his mouth. He chewed them without even frowning He liked them, without any doubt. The jar had a label upon it..... It read: "Muscle Pills" on the side. I knew this was something I needed... So I asked him with eyes open wide. "Can I have some?", I asked with excitement. "I don't know, let me see" as he smiled. "Make a muscle, let's see if you need them". So I did, as he felt them awhile. "You could use them, my brother, and badly" He said, with his tongue in his cheek. Chew a few and we'll see what will happen. Maybe then you will get what you seek. Those pills were quite hard to describe. But small rabbit turds came to mind. The taste, not as bad as I thought though; And nothing compared I could find. That afternoon was real exciting As Howard asked me to play catch. I threw the ball well with my brother But his fast ball, I never could match. He said, (just a half an hour later) "Let's go to the field where there's room To throw some long balls to each other" But I sensed a feeling of DOOM! We got there and started our throwing Beginning about thirty feet. I said to myself "this is nothing." With every catch I replied, "This is neat!" Then Howard proceeded to back up A distance I couldn't believe. He looked like the head of a pin there So far, that I barely could see. "Are you ready?" He shouted quite loudly. "Let'er rip" was my shouted reply. The next thing I saw was a wonder And I couldn't believe my own eyes... That ball came so beautifully for me I watched it with wonder, but dread Because when it finally reach me It hit me square in the forehead. I spent so much time in my wonder It caused my reactions to slow When time came to lift up my glove though, That baseball had laid me out low. I picked myself up off the ground Slightly dizzy but otherwise clear. I saw Howard running to help me. His face all contorted with fear. "You alright my dear brother? I'm sorry!" "Not your fault!" I replied, "I'm okay!" Then he said with a laughing demeanor.... "THOSE MUSCLE PILLS SAVED YOU TODAY!" By Carl J Bridgman Dec. 28, 2024