It's Hard Monday, Ya Beatniks!! (Mylot Exclusive #1892)

Tweet

Oh, Radio Rangers, the big day isn't until Sunday, but, already. our basket runneth over. Not with eggs. If you want eggs, you have to get Easter Prime, which used to cost 49 cents for 12 years but now costs $198,019.47 for six months. I, of course, don't have it because I'm just barely a multi-trillionaire. But that's OK. I'm 31 now, so I've already had enough Easter Eggs to last a lifetime. It sucks for kids but I'll be fine. So what is in my basket? Well, first of all, we have the annual physical of President Musk's caddy, Tiny D. Trump. He is in perfect health and should have little to no trouble living for another four years. That means he will die in prison after all. It also means that praying for cancer doesn't work. Thanks, Obama. Kim Reynolds is another big item for me and you, if you live in the Neon Fun Jungle. She is not going to seek reelection ((Kim Reynolds won't seek reelection. See how Iowa's leaders are reacting to her decision, Article Linked Below)). I don't know what MAGA lapdog the idiot voters here are going to replace her with but at least it won't be her. "Sir, what do you have against Kim Reynolds? Besides the obvious, which is her being another worthless Republican?" I'm glad you asked that. My biggest objection to her, aside from her aforementioned Republicanism, is that she often claims to have Libertarian ideals. That is total hogwash. She doesn't have a libertarian bone in her body. I always ask her, "Kim, have you legalized pot? Have you abolished the seat belt law and the drinking and gambling age? Have you ever even lifted a finger to accomplish any of those goals?" She always responds with, "Greg, that is a very stupid question. It's also why you only have 226.4 Billion Loyal Dedicated Daily Readers. And why you don't even have three whole trillion dollars to rub together. Look. Tiny D. Trump has won another glorious golf tournament...NewsMax, OAN, FOX, and many others, are saying that he played 36 holes and shot 36 and that's what the American people care about!" Does that adequately answer your question? I just don't like Fake Libertarians. And I have yet to meet a real Libertarian, and it really bums me out. ************* Des Moines Register Kim Reynolds won't seek reelection. See how Iowa's leaders are reacting to her decision. Story by Victoria Reyna-Rodriguez, Des Moines Register • 13h • 6 min read