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If Microsoft Ran a Bar You order a beer but won't actually get it until next year. When you do get your beer, it will only be half-full. When you complain about this, you get charged extra. You are promised that the next beer you get will not only be full, but will actually brew you more beer. This turns out to be false. You still only get half a beer in a slightly different color of glass. You will probably need to learn how to drink all over again. Your glass of beer will explode at random intervals. Far from being seen as a fault, this is described by the bar staff as an 'undocumented feature'. You are assured that the next beer you receive will not explode. Of course, it will and it does. You can only talk to people who are drinking the same beer as you. You can order a different drink, but you will have to go to another bar. You've heard that there is another beer called 'Linux Real Lite', which is tastier, comes in a near bottomless glass and is free. But you can't drink it because you'll lose your job. Strangely, you'll keep your job if you continuously get pissed at MS-Bar. You can become a MS-Beer expert by paying the bar lots of money and then taking a test in which you lie about how good the beer is while overlooking all its faults. The bar releases NT-Beer, but it is so big that it won't fit on your table. You will have to buy a new table. The glass is still only half full. For some obscure reason, you keep drinking at MS-Bar.