15 year relationship over like that.
By baysmummy
@baysmummy (1637)
Australia
December 4, 2006 6:24am CST
Ok i am after some advice for a friend, For the purpose of this her name will be Mandy and her husbands name will be dave, Ok so many and dave have been together for 15 years they have 2 beautiful children together 10 year old girl and 8 year old boy, plus they recently found out they are expecting another baby, Ok the problem is Mandy and her husband dave have been trying for this baby for 5 years now, Dave wouldnt settle with having 2 kids he wanted 3 so now they have the third on the way and when mandy informed dave she was finally pregnant, He told her he no longer wanted to be with her because he now has a new woman and are expecting twins together. My friend Mandy is at a lose as to what to do she was happy with 2 kids but because dave wanted 3 they tried for 5 years and now finally they got what he wanted and he has taken off.
Not only has he split up with her but he is still staying in their family home but he has moved his pregnant girlfriend in as well, what should my friend do?
4 people like this
17 responses
@ausnikki (4054)
• Brisbane, Australia
4 Dec 06
He moved his pregnant girlfriend in too? Omg,this friend of yours needs to find a good lawyer to find out exactly what her rights are.This man is an arrogant pig!Not only did he get her pregnant but another woman too.I feel so sorry for your friend,this must be a terrible time for her and all this stress would not be good for the pregnancy.Does she have family around that can help her through this?Be there for your friend,she is going to need you to lean on.
@baysmummy (1637)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Thanks for your response, yes i am trying my best to be there for her she doesnt have any family in the area she moved her with her husband and children 9 months ago for her husbands work.
@baysmummy (1637)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
I dont think she is really interested in finding another man right now!
@claudia413 (4280)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Mandy needs to contact an attorney to learn what rights she has. It's not a good situation for the kids to be in, but she needs to find out what she can do legally. I bet he thought she'd move out when he moved the g/f in. In her place, I'd really like to sock it to him.
@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
So is the pregnant girlfriend in the home with Mandy as well as Dave???
Poor Mandy I would leave him Kick him out he's the one doing the dirty, How long has he been with this other chick???
Mandy must feel sick to her stomach of course. She needs to tell him to get out or give her money to leave. That is wrong the poor children..
BIG HUGS for her
@baysmummy (1637)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
Thank you Mandy went and saw a lawyer this afternoon and they have started proceedings, They are aiming for her to keep the house and for her to have full custody of her children, She was advised to find some temporary accomodation for her and her children just until either dave settles with what she wants or it goes to court. Looks like she will have have a place for her and the children may friday!
Thank you all, i have let her read all your comments and she is feeling much stronger to deal with him now!
@dhicks30 (1948)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Well, tell your friend I'm sorry. But no way, no way would my husband move his girlfriend in with us. This is my home! I don't know what to say. Other than I feel for her. My mom and dad were together for 30 years. My dad found a girl and moved out. After 30 years of being together. You think you know someone.
@baysmummy (1637)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
Its very hard after 15 years my friend felt this was her life long partner, its very sad!
@courtlynne77 (4839)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Okay, from what I read below he, his wife, his girl friend, and the kids are all living together? Your friend needs to see a lawyer ASAP! Does she work? How long have they been married? She is probably entitled to the house and support from him. How does she feel about the new baby now? If she goes and sees a lawyer and can lay out for "Dave" what the situation is going to be she will at least feel like she has gained a little control.
@claudia413 (4280)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Shame on you for copying part of the response above you. Go read the "guidelines" at the bottom of the page.
@MrsAdvice (623)
• United States
4 Dec 06
This situation really sucks. I think, from a legal standpoint, whoever moves out of the house loses the house. If she is not concerned about losing the house, they were only there 9 months, I would think since it is near hubby's workplace she should move back in with her parents or near her parents and get the kids far away from that situation. If she wants to stay there, she needs to get them out. It is just too bizarre to have the kids in this situation. It cannot be healthy for them. If she does not want the baby she is pregnant for, there are many people who are looking to adopt. I personally know a very wonderful couple who are wealthy and would adopt the baby in a heartbeat. She may want to consider that as an option but I think once she announces that intention her husband may be able to step in and say he wants it and take it, so she may want to check with a lawyer first. I know someone who was married 24 years and her hubby left her for another woman. It sucks, but it happens. That's why women have to have a plan B, just in case.
@littlered361970 (1052)
• United States
4 Dec 06
she should take the kids file for full custody and get him for screwing around in the marriage she'll get twice as much if she divorced him!
@krysy1982 (1041)
• United States
4 Dec 06
That is so awful the way that man is acting. Mandy and her kids would be better off without him. I hope everything goes ok.
@baysmummy (1637)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Thanks very much, i have told Mandy she is welcome to come stay here until she gets a place of her own or he moves out but she doesnt want the kids to suffer and thinks them being in their home is best right now!
@gabrriella_a (453)
• Romania
4 Dec 06
Have the baby... love him, raise him.. and f.. the a.h. - get rid of that guy!! He doesn't deserve her and more than that she deserves something better!!!Good luck anyway.. she will need a lot of strenght!!
@mirage108 (3402)
• United States
4 Dec 06
That is a tough one, would kick them both out and then file for divorce and custody of the kids. as it appears there is no reconsiling.
@rms2727 (815)
• India
4 Dec 06
I would only say this guy really deserves a kick from your friend, banana even sharp how your friend could not smell it that he was already on his way to having more babies somewhere else. and why the hell is she allowing the girlfriend to stay in their family home. all that is required is does she should get active and take full control of the situation and if necessary gone for a llegal settlement to make sure that she is not pushed out of the family home and that she and her kids get their due share of the property and the money
