A man offered to give me his baby girl.....
By caribe
@caribe (2465)
United States
December 4, 2006 8:13pm CST
He has offered to give her to me several times but he is always drinking, which seems to be most of the time, when he tells me this. The problem is I don't know if his wife is of the same opinion as he is. We have stopped by a time or two in the past and given money for milk to the young mother. I know that the mother of the baby and the baby are on the brink of starvation most of the time. The father is a good welder if he would just stay sober. There is always work for him. He says the baby would have a better life with me and my husband and I know that this is true, but I don't want to do anything the mother doesn't want and I don't want my heart broken either. I am getting older and I don't know if I can keep up with a baby but I feel she would have a better life with us. I am a U.S. citizen with permanent residence in Nicaragua. My husband is a native of Nicaragua. I need your opinions on this and your input. This is not the only child in this situation. There are thousands with similar stories.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
I am quite sure that you would be able to provide a better home for the child caribe, but at what price would this be? Would you be to legally adopt this child and take it back to the U.S. with you should the necessity arise? Also how old is the baby girl and the mother too? Are there any siblings involved or is this the first child?
It is a shame that the man drinks really, but instead of giving the mother money for milk, would it perhaps be better to get her to do some work for you. It need not be lots of work, but it might help them plus increase here self-esteem.
For example, do you think she would be offended if you got her to do some housework or ironing? If not, then you could offer her this type of thing and at the same time see that she got something to eat on the days that she works for you.
I do believe that there are thousands of children in this situation in Ncaragua, as there are in many other poor nations. You cannot help all of them, but you can help one mother and her baby girl. If the mother thinks you should take the child, would she be willing to let you adopt this baby girl? Either way, it will be a hard decision for you to make and not an easy one.
2 people like this
@caribe (2465)
• United States
5 Dec 06
The price for me I think would be pretty great. It would totally change my life as I know it now. I will give some thought to hiring the mother to work for me. I already have a housekeeper a couple days a week so I am not sure I would have anything for her right now. But I do know someone that would probably give her a job right away and would keep her as long as she did a good job. In that case, though someone would have to look after her baby. They live with the paternal grandmother and aunt of the child, but they don't have anything either and what little food they have sometimes they won't share with them. The grandmother will buy milk occasionally. You have given me something to think about, Ossie. Maybe there is another route to go to help them. We will see.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
I am pleased to be of some help and if someone could give her a job that would be good. It would also possibly mean less emotional ties for you till you can work out what it best for you, your husband and the little girl. It would be heartbreaking if you had the little girl and then the mother decided she wanted her back.
The reason I say this is because it did happen to friends of ours who adopted a little girl. This was in Australia too and the parents willingly gave up the baby for adoption to our friends, but then later changed their mind or tried to. this couple had several more children who were also neglected and the parents used to send them round to our friends, who became emotionally attached to them as well.
Take care of your heart, help when and where you can caribe but save some of the emotions till you know what the mother wants.
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@MelangeTulsa (140)
• United States
5 Dec 06
This is a very serious situation. I don't know what I would do. Sad to say..but if the mother does not want to give the child over to you to raise, child welfare services might step in. I think she would probably rather have the baby go to you than into a situation that she is unfamiliar with. Best of luck and I wish the same for that innocent little baby.
@caribe (2465)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I am living in Nicaragua so they don't do things here the way they do in the United States. There are thousands of children here in very similar situations here. It is very sad because most don't get the nutrition they need to make strong healthy bodies. There is no foster care system in this country as far as I have been able to find out. There are many orphanages struggling to feed the children they have in their care.
@kcbabez14 (967)
• United States
7 Dec 06
do what you feel is right! If the baby is in need of a better home then you need to sit the two down and have a talk with them (try to catch him when he's sober) It Would be the best.. because then you would be able to know the truth and possible give that child a better life!
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@wmg2006 (5381)
• United States
7 Dec 06
WOW! What a great opportunity. As much as I love children this would be a hard decision for me to make. It will change everyone's life not just yours. I understand about being older and not sure if this is what you want to do in your life. Maybe the solution would be for you to babysit as often as possible and be a big part of the child's life without taking on the responsibilty of being the parents. I think even when people are down on their luck they just think they want things to change but in reality they really don't. What I mean is I think this neighbor is down on his luck and he just THINKS he wants you to take his baby but he really doesn't.
All parents think at some time their children would be better off with someone else, but actually a child is always better off with their real parents.
You say you can help the Mother get work, so maybe you can also help her by babysitting and caring for the child.
There are always other ways to help rather than adopting.
I wish you lots of luck with this decision.
@avonelle26 (364)
• Anguilla
7 Dec 06
If you do not mind taking care of the baby go and talk to the parent along wiTH A LAWYER and see what happen. In all of this the baby is suffering
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