I have a Close freind who was in Iraq? need help

I think the best thing that you can do is to be there for both of them as much as you can be. That is what friends do for each other. I know this must be really hard on him, I can't even begin to imagine what that was like. This must be hard on the marriage too, like you said. And I know it puts you in a rough spot because you care for both of them. This is a really tough situation and I wish I could offer more advice for you. Best wishes!

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT. THE ONLY ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IS THAT HE CAN ONLY HELP HIMSELF IF HE WANTS TO. HE HAS TO WANT IT AND KNOW HE NEEDS IT BEFORE HE CAN GET IT. MY HUSBAND HAD PROBLEMS BEFORE HE WENT TO IRAQ AND HE HAD TO DO THE SAME THINGS AS YOUR FRIEND. HE CAME HOME WITH UPSETTING AND UNBELIEVABLE PICS AND VIDEOS. WE ARE CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE AND HIS BEST FRIENDS WIFE IS A REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE. BUT IN MY OPINION FROM GOING THROUGH IT MYSELF IS THAT HE WILL ONLY GET HELP ONCE HE SEES HE NEEDS IT AND DECIDES HE WANTS IT. MY HUSBAND TELLS ME I NEED HELP BECAUSE HE HASNT REALIZED HOW MUCH THAT YEAR TOUR IN IRAQ AFFECTED HIM. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND THEM. I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT. BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON"!!!!!

War is tough on a person. Have you recommended counseling. The military will pay for it.

Be there for both of them. Tell them that you'll listen but you will not be put on the spot to take sides. He needs to get help. She has to undertand some of the things he has been through. He needs her and everyone else to help him through it. I would listen but I would not suggest to either one to give up. Just let them know that you are there and willing to support them. If he is having trouble getting help, maybe they would be able to get a visit with a pastor. Maybe he could give both of them direction. I'm not a real religious person. I don't go to church, but I have had conversations with the pastor of my parents church. It does help.