Divorce

I got divorced after 4 years of marriage. My ex-husband and I dated for 3 years prior to that so it wasn't an issue of "rushing things". I have been a Christian for many years so I know the Bible says about divorce and always felt like it was an option I would never choose. That being said I grew up in a broken home--my mother has been married 5 times. I have two siblings and we all have different fathers. My mother's mother was married 7 times and my great-grandmother was married 3 times. I hope not to perpetuate this trend. Though I am very close to my dad's side of the family, which is much more stable (my dad's the only one besides me that's been divorced)and has a Christian environment, seeing my mother get divorced admittedly had some influence on me. I married for the wrong reasons--I had low self-esteem and he showed me huge amounts of love and tenderness. Over time, I realized that all the little things I had been ignoring were just not going to go away. They were his personality. I didn't really love him like a wife should. Though I now think of her as a wonderful gift, I sometimes wish that I had not had a baby in such a cold marriage. It was for her that I left. It was my intention to stay in the marriage as I believed I should, but I was miserable. The household environment was cold and tense. It was like two strangers living in a house together. I went to counseling with him and alone, but when there's no love there's just not much to salvage. We divorced just before my daughter's first birthday because I believed that she was young enough for her not to feel the pain of the divorce and yet benefit from a more loving environment. It's been 5 years and I still feel I made the right choice. I was a bit naive about how easy I thought it would be on her as she still frequently goes back and forth. But now she has two happy sets of parents instead of one set that constantly is mad at each other. I know that seeing my mother getting divorced made me realize that I would survive just fine as a single mom and gave me the strength to do what I felt was necessary. My Christian upbringing and the stability of my dad's family made the decision very difficult. I felt like I was letting everyone down. I must admit it scares me to think that my children will grow up to think that divorce is OK though we are raising them in church and doing our best to instill the value of marriage in them. I just hope they will learn from my mistakes, not copy them. I doubt this fuly answers the question of why so many in society divorce, but I do believe we have begun a sort of self-perpetuating circle that we must work to stop.

I have got divorced as well. I was young also but I had to leave our marriage life behind it because of my own safety. My ex abused me by physically amd mentally.He has never hit me or hurt me in both way before we get married and he has changed so much after we've got married.None of my family member has got divorced(They all are living in my home country,Japan).My ex's parents were divorced as well. Lot of my friends and their family has divorved as well. I know that we all have a different reasons behind the divorce and I don't blame on it just because leaving the life time commitment. I've met this wonderful man who's also divorced and I have been living with him for over 8 months.I have decided to live with who I love before I get married since I couldn't see at my previous relationship with my ex. So far it's been so nice and I am very happy with who I have been with.We've got engaged and are going to get remarried next July.

may be becoz people these days have started making very haste decisions about choosing their life partners...they just don't give a damn that whether they person they have choosen is compatible with them or not... and secondly,people have lost their patience and control over their emotions.....everyone hs become self-centered they don't think that the more they give to their reltionship is the more they'll get back out of it....it's only a matter of respecting each othersneeds,desires,feelings etc....and in this only the woman is not to be blamed im talking about both the sides...each has to reaise their responsibilities and time should be given to each other with sincerity s much as possible...one more thing that the people lack is open discussions...they just try to avoid discussions with ecah other...and think themselves to be too superior to talk about their worries and problems...i guess these are the core issues that if taken care of can lead to a veryhealthy realtionship

I think it's a combination of two things. 1. I think couples enter marriage thinking it will always be easy and then give up quickly once things get difficult. 2. When our grandparents and even our parents were married, divorce was frowned upon and many couples stayed together, despite problems, because it was better than having their friends talking behind their backs.

I have been divorced once and remarried for over 18 years now. A lot of people rush into marriage before they are ready; I know I did the first time. A lot of the stigma is gone from divorce; it used to be a last resort. Now too many people get married with the thought that "Well, if it doesn't work out we can always get divorced." Then as soon as things get tough, the blossom comes off the rose, and they give up. My second husband and I have been through some rough times but the longer we stay together, committed to each other, the more deeply we love each other. Many marriages go through cycles where the couple fall in and out of love with each other, but every time the love returns, it makes the marriage stronger. I don't advocate anyone staying in an abusive marriage, but there are rewards for sticking it out through the hard times.

i think its a combiation of serveral different things. some is jumping into marriage too early, and some people think getting a divorce is so easy and common that one little fight and they're ready to sign papers. my husband was married before me, he tried to hang on to his marriage but his wife insisted she didn't want to work at it and just wanted it over. people have to understand that leaving itsn't always the answer, the only way you should get a divorce if both of you can leave on 'good' term and have agreed that the love is gone. also sometimes marriage is just not for everyone. me, i don't believe in divorce unless my spouse is being physically abusive towards me and/or my children...and since my husband isn't like that...i don't think i'll ever have to experiance a divorce. remember all problems can be worked out...but both sides have to work on it.

Divorce is a resonable sourse in the life Becaurse marriage is a strong and belivable life.This life is dont like a jok but thinking very seriousness.Husband and wife do not think divorce and other person Marriage is a bandhan,this bandhan is blessing to God.Really not thinking divorec

Well, I was divorced after 23 years of marriage. He was drunk and abusive. I tried to stick it out but it didn't work.

I think it is because it is allot easier now a day s to get a divorce and that you don't just stay together because of the vales you made... I'm not married and probably won't for that reason I'm happy the way me and my partner are at the moment the only reason I would get married is because of the different surname to my partner and kids I see it as only a piece of paper I consider my self pretty much married anyway. At least I still have my identity.....

I think that too much pressure is placed on people (young people) to get married. I mean right out of high school people start asking you if you are seeing anyone and if you plan on getting married. Marriage is great when it is the right time. People need time to discover themselves and what they really want in life.

I think that the majority of the time people go into marriage thinking that if it doesnt work then they can get a divorce. People take marriage so lightly these days and they dont realize that they made a promise to god through thick and thin and when it gets a little thick people gice up.

I definitely think it's because women aren't as limited anymore. Used to be if a woman divorced she was marked. She also couldn't make enough money to support herself let alone herself and children. She would stay with a jerk who abused or mistreated her and or the kids, just to survive. Now women have so many more options and can walk away without worrying how they will survive. I also think that it's so easy now to divorce, everyone has done it and lawyers are a dime a dozen. It isn't as costly or as messy as it once was either. Although that can be changed if one of the people decides to be an idiot! lol I'm also divorced and I stayed in the marriage, hating it, until he abused one of the children. At that point I knew I could do it on my own, even if I hadn't been working full time for a long time. I had been being a part time worker and full time mother and educator of our 3 kids. I stayed because my lack of a job (full time) kept me hostage. Once I realized that I could survive on my own without his help it was a lot easier to walk. And once he sealed the deal with hitting our son I knew I could walk out without ever looking back.

I think people are rushing into marriage too quickly. Partly because the sacred vows are so lightly looked upon. No one thinks twice really before getting married anymore. Because these days, marriages doesn't equal forever. Forever equals "whenever I get tired of you." That just wasn't the case years ago. People got married, because they loved each other, and because they were willing to forsake ALL others, and spend their lives together. I have been married twice. The first time, I was 17 and pregnant. I thought getting married was the best thing I could do for my child. That wasn't the case. My child was miserable because I was miserable. We were divorced and it turns out, I was right. Neither me nor my son have seen him since. I have remarried, and just celebrated our 6th anniverary, and look forward to celebrating our 60th. =)

I agree that it is too easy to get a divorce. Maybe some evening, hubby come home to smell his dinner burning so he storms out and the wife just can't handle. Or maybe hubby goes for a drink with one of his workmates and then he is accused of being unfaitful. I am sure there are a lot of silly reasons why people get divorced instead of working at their relationship. I am now married for thirty eight years and my husband and myself have had our problems, but we always managed to sort them out.

I agree it is far to easy to get a divorce these days, but I also think alot of it has to do with getting married to early, and not getting to know the person, with that said, I knew my exhusband 3 years before we married and he cheated on me, so I guess it is just easy to get one.

I AM AN INDIAN WHERE MARRAIGES ARE FIXED UP EVEN WITHOUT THE GROOM & BRIDE MEETING EACH OTHER AND YET THEY MAKE UP TO THE END OF THEIR LIFE. NOW LIFE IS SO FAST EVERYONE WANTS TO BE HEARD AND NO ONE IS WIILING TO HEAR. SO IF WE HAVE LITTLE DIFFERENCES, WE GO INTO AN ARGUMENT. DIVORCE MAY BE EASY FOR US TO TURN OUR LIVES AS WE WISH. BUT IT TAKES A TOOL ON THE CHILDREN. TOO MANY DIVORCES IS A PICTURE OF A CRUMBLING SOCIETY AND IN TURN A CRUMBLING COUNTRY AND ON THE WHOLE A CRUMBLING WORLD

Divorce is made mainly due to non coparation of the couple now we have all rights to take desiciation for our life but we are doing our desiciation before get matchured have understand each other then go to marriage then the divorce %% % is reduced

i m not married so not divorced but. the reason for divorce are.. that woman r in to . working arena.n man cant. bear this....that they r moving that FASt because of man nature..GOd make them like this...MAn cannot see a woman .. superior to him. .. in househOld. or not even superior.. another reason is. woman when go out they know the world.then they .. ARgue with husband..while come home..cauz there mind has been broadened

Well, I've never been married, so I haven't gotten divorced yet lol... but it's a pretty big trend in my family. My parents are divorced, and many of their siblings have also gotten divorced at least once so far. Some of them never bothered to get married though, so I'm not sure if that's the right way to go about it all lol.... I know a lot of people that are jumping into marriage far too quickly. I'm not sure if it's any quicker than it would have been generations ago or not, because I don't really know enough about the past to compare that decently, but still to me it seems too quick. I don't think I could ever jump into something that fast, but then again, I've never been deeply in love, so when that happens, all my logic will probably just fly out the window and I'll dive into marriage as fast as the next person! I do know that if my parents hadn't got divorced, then later on they never would have been happy again, because my dad has moved on with other girls (got engaged a couple times, but never married) and my mom has been remarried and is very happy. So that kind of makes me happy that people are free to get a divorce more now, because I don't see the point in living with someone else if you can't be happy about it. And if a divorce gives you another shot at love, then why not go for it? Right?

i think it's really because couples are given divorce as an option to solve their problems. if there wasn't any divorce then maybe couples would try harder to settle their differences rather than decide to end the marriage right away. i'm pretty sure there are lots of good reasons why people get divorced just like adultery ar marital abuse but there are also couples who get divorced for reasons that could have been resolved if divorce weren't an option.