Will everyone survive through Christmas
By ossie16d
@ossie16d (11821)
Australia
December 7, 2006 10:40pm CST
How to survive Christmas, without having to strangle anyone. This is pretty important becaue you can forget peace on earth and goodwill to all men. We all know that sometimes Christmas can be a nightmare, so try to minimise the presssure:
Shop smart - resist the temptation to spend on everyone but instead go for home make gifts like a framed photo, homemade jam. Perhaps you can talk it over with the rest of the family members and agree that you should only buy for the children and instead give personal home made gifts or gift vouchers to the adults.
Aim for relative peace which means peace within the family. Often one of the few times families get together is at Christmas, which can often lead to tensions and tempers erupting. If there is one person who always seems to cause problems and they are coming, work through things that you can do to keep things calm. This might be playing board or card games, going for a walk, entertaining the children and so on.
Lower your expectations and don't try to make Christmas perfect because it won‘t be. Just accept that you will be happy if you have a good day with ample food, good company and some laughs. This way if things are better than you expect it is a bonus. Keep things simple because it is about spending time with loved ones and special people, not what you can give them or for them to criticise your arrangements. Work on the KISS principle.
Make time for your partner/spouse because if there are any underlying niggles they will come to a head at Christmas. Sort out who is to do what beforehand, so you don’t get upset when your partner won’t help or when his family and your family have a clash. Make the most of the holidays by taking time to spend together as a couple.
Delegate, and there's no reason why everyone in the house shouldn't help out. Decide in advance whose job it is to wrap presents, set the table etc. If everyone knows what their task is, there will be fewer arguments. If you're hosting Christmas dinner, ask guests to bring the starter and/or a salad or dessert, so you only have to tackle the main course. If you just can't cope with cooking, organise someone else to help you with it.
Change the day, which is not such a bad idea. For many years the family spent Christmas together but as children grew up, married, had children and then that generation also went through the same time it became harder for everyone. So it was decided that the family Christmas would be on the 2nd Saturday in December when everyone got together for the day. This put no stress on anyone for Christmas Day and in fact actually improved some of the inter-family relationships which has been suffering in previous years.
Finally it is okay to run away and if your family choose to interpret your not spending the day with them as not loving them enough, that is their problem, not yours. Sometimes we just need to escape, so don’t let anyone send you on a “guilt trip”. Reassure them that you will see them before you go and when you get back but you will be having Christmas on your own. If you are separated from family and friends through work or distance, helping out in a shelter for the homeless or delivering meals for the elderly or visiting the Children’s Hospital can be very rewarding.
3 people like this
12 responses
@feralwoman (2199)
• Australia
9 Dec 06
I used to pull all the stops out at christmas in the uk, slaving over a hot oven while everyone else was having a drink & relaxing. I've also had some disasters too! One year we had my parents & the in-laws over & about an hour before everyone was due to arrive, I'd only realised i'd forgotten to take the turkey out of the freezer. We didn't have a microwave in those days, so it was off to next door's with the turkey on a plate to ask them to defrost it for me! Needless to say the whole dinner was a disaster from start to finish - but never mind, these things probably happen to everyone!
@caramello (4377)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
I have finished my shopping, woohoo! Now it is the eats, and I will try this year to choose a better time to go to the supermarket, so that I don't have to wear any armour to protect myself from all those crazy human beings who would decide to go at the same time as me! How dare they? But am looking forward to it as not much stress involved for me now, I'll have more stress when my daughter gets married!
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
It always makes me feel good once all the shopping for presents has been completed. Food is one of those things that are almost 'last minute' things, although I have ordered what we will be having this year. Just means a trip into town on the Saturday morning to collect the food. I only hope that those nasty people understand that you have to go food shopping at a certain time, and then they can have the supermarket once you have finished. LOL
Thanks for responding caramello. :)
@_hope_ (3902)
• Australia
11 Feb 07
I know this is an old post and we all survived christmas it`s good to see . But as for this christmas coming it`s going to be a lot easier for this year for the children this year they will be given a box which will contain a sum of monet everyone adds their sum of money to the box and the person who owns that box has the choice to spend it on what ever they want ,instead of recieving a lot of in approperate gifts. It will be a trial run this year so will see how it goes it will remove a lot of stress form everyone and we can all concentrate on the true meaning of christmas .
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
12 Feb 07
What a wonderful idea hope and it also means that you can start saving early and putting money away as you have some to spare. We know a family who have been doing this for a number of years and it seems to work out well, particularly as they can get what they want at the after Christmas sales. One of the adult children told us that they can often get double the value of the money by doing it this way, which of course has added appeal to many.
Thanks for this valuable contribution hope. :)
@Bunny2 (2102)
• Australia
16 Dec 06
You have some good, commonsense ideas there. It's so difficult to make everyone happy. I'm going to try to enjoy this Christmas even though I'm feeling used again - there are 4 brothers ans sisters in my husband's family yet it's always my young sister in law or me who *has* to do it. Arguments within the family mean some won't go if the other goes or if the other does it. it's so childish. they should be grateful they have both parents alive. SIGH. But I am determined to enjoy it and delegate! Thanks.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
20 Dec 06
I have given you the best response for this one Bunny2 and I hope that your Christmas is much improved this year. If not, then plan early for next year so you have much less to do - if others cannot help, then they don't get all those things that they are used to having. :)
1 person likes this
@oldboy46 (2129)
• Australia
9 Feb 07
My partner and I decided a few years ago the best way to do things was to buy presents for the immediate family only ...... but we do have family and friends around for the day. We provide the food etc ....... that is our gift to everyone but lots of the ladies come early to help with the preparation ..... the men set up the tables and those sorts of things ........ a good day plus nobody can drink before lunch is served.
@iwillmakeyouthink (22)
• Canada
16 Dec 06
I tried to be smart this year, I bought all my presents in oct. (Wow is it hard to have presents for everyone you love and wait two months to give them to them!) But it's done, so no money worries or last minute panic. Also I agree, just go with the flow and remember it's just a day where the whole family gets together for a nice meal and just gets to enjoy each others company, catch up and have a good time.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Dec 06
Congratulations of getting all your Christmas shopping done early this year, because it does make life much easier not having to rush around getting them at the last minute. I actually start to buy things early in the year and just put them away - cheaper and easier.
Thanks for reading and responding to this and I hope that your Christmas day goes smoothly. No pressure or stress, go with the flow and enjoy the day with your family. :)
@caramello (4377)
• Australia
16 Dec 06
Good morning ossie, are you all ready for the coming event? It is not long to go now!
@ishavasyam (1801)
• India
12 Dec 06
Nice ,timely and very appropriate word of wisdom...coming from a very earnest heart with purest of intentions...
@debbibet28 (110)
• United States
9 Dec 06
I don't understand all the hoopla and stress that goes along with Christmas. I am of another faith that also has a holiday in December and we don't have all this rush for presents and that we have to get something for everyone. It's about the meaning of the holiday, not putting up decorations or how can we blind the neighbors with the lights on the house. I think its kind of funny how people get all stressed during this time of year.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
9 Dec 06
Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Christ but at the same time people do get together with family and friends and exchange presents.
Even though you are of a different faith, do you give presents to your family? Do you take a holiday from work during this time? Not everyone does these things of course, but many of all faiths do so. I do not understand why you would make the comment about the title of the discussion, because it is a simple question and then there are tips on how to make the most of the time.
@debbibet28 (110)
• United States
9 Dec 06
to add to this, look at the title of this discussion, it sounds more like a tradegy then a holiday!
@iloveit (316)
• Canada
9 Dec 06
Christmas comes every year. Each year we are tempted to make this the best ever. Every tradition doesn't have to be repeated. Pick out the one or two traditions that you like and ditch the others. my two cents
- simplify the Menus.
- Dinner doesn't have to be really fancy. ask your family and they will probably tell you a simplified meal would be just wonderful.
- Ask for help. Who says you have to decorate by yourself? Make it a family affair.
- Keep it simple. Use pretty paper or plastic plates instead of dishes that you would have to wash for a while after its all over.
- Try to be calm and stress-free. stress can cause flares. So try to think of the long haul.
- Remember to rest. If you generally rest an hour a day, rest two during the holidays. You will accomplish more after a rest than if you work straight through the day.
@Random1 (212)
• United States
9 Dec 06
I will survive if I can find a good gift for my father in law. I'm taking suggestions. Shopping is crazy! It is always crazy to shop at walmart even late at night but it is worse now and it seems that they hire the slowest working people in the world. I try to shop on off times when it might not be so crazy! BUT we have to remember the reason for Christmas and that it isn't about shopping and the craziness. It is about Christ and his birth, so don't get caught up in the madness.
