why is it so hard to be monogamous?

aha. i can relate. i seem to like having amorous relationships with a lot of women too. the difference is, it stopped when i had a serious girlfriend. i guess being monogamous aint so hard if you're really satisfied with your partner (or your partner really satisfies you. wink wink!)

I don't think being monogamous is necessarily preferable to having an open or polyamorous relationship. I couldn't be monogamous and i will never pretend that i ambecause any attempt that i've made in the past to be monogamous has ended with people being hurt. I think perhaps the reason why you find it so difficult is because it's just not natural to only want to be with one person for everyone, it works for some people, it doesn't work for others.

thats not true...my boyfriend is monogamous...and i have a lot of friends that are monogamous...its just that these guys are already contented with the girl that they have chosen to love...no offense but i bet that you dont reallty love your girl because if you do love her you shouldnt cheat on her...you are not contented for what you have therefore i dont think that you are really serious with her...my father doesnt cheat on my mom...those are the people that i admire...people that are not adulterous...

I don't know that I'd call that behavior "normal". Not all men are cheaters. I know a lot of men who have been faithful to their wives/girlfriends. Maybe you're just not as in love as you think? It's something to consider.

I think it's just human nature to be attracted to other people. But it's up to us whether we act upon these desires or not. If we truly love someone then no one would be able to make us stray - no matter what they look like. You wouldn't want your loved one to cheat on you because it would hurt and vise-versa. There isn't anyone on earth - even Brad Pitt - that would make me cheat on my husband. I'm completely in love with him and do not want to do ANYTHING to jeopordize our relationship. However that's what works for us. I know that there are people out there who actually to have open relationships but are completely committed to one another. I just don't understand it myself - I wouldn't want to share my husband. Maybe she feels the same way that you do. Just ask yourself how she would feel about your 'amorous relationships' with other girls. And see what that might mean to you.

It's not all men. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years and I am 100% certain that he has always been and will always be completely faithful. How can I be sure of this? Well he has experienced what it is like to be on the receiving end of unfaithful behavious - more than once (and not by me!!) so I know that he is morally against it. I feel that if you feel the need to cheat then there is obviously something missing from the relationship and you need to figure out what that is. Of course there always are those people who agree to have open relationships, but that is different because both people agree. I think HONEST and OPENNESS are the most important things in a relationship, and if you can't be honest with your significant other, you shouldn't be with them.

i dont know. I think its the natural law.

it's not hard to be monogamous it's your chose whether or not you want to be faithful i mean if you say you love your girlfriend and want to spend the rest of your life with her than all those other girls wouldn't matter. so you need to really think about what you want to do and be honest with your girl and don't lead her on.

To each his own... but i am monogamous by choice.

i don't really know how or explain exactly why some people find it hard to be monogamous. All i can say is that if you love someone, you will do all your best to stay faithful to him/her ^^

hehe, well im not shoked about u, i know most men wants to be with other women just for seks. maybe cuz of curiosuity or just want to feel that they are real men and can have all they want. and girls are just like a game that men want to hunt. or still feels this primitive feeling of fertilising everything that moves. i suggest u to go to psyhologist and he will tell u why do u feel so why do u need them, maybe even cure u. however i know that many men wouldnt want to stop desire other women, which means they like it! and my fiance is monogamous by choice (once he had problem with it and shrink helped him, but only becuz he really didny want to be attracted by other girls cuz it made him tired)

thats not true...my boyfriend is monogamous...and i have a lot of friends that are monogamous...its just that these guys are already contented with the girl that they have chosen to love...no offense but i bet that you dont reallty love your girl because if you do love her you shouldnt cheat on her

wow,i dont even know what to say about this.Maybe you are just greedy.And how do you allow this one girl to stay with you,if you really loved her you would stop sharing so many germs with her.i dont know man i just dont know.

ya i agree with u. but the true love is a other thing and a love with a frnd whether it is a male or female is other thing.

Yeah, I'd say you're just a jerk hahaha. I don't see how you can truely love someone if you can't even be monogamous.

...i'd say jerk because i've known pleanty of monogamous guys...my father never once cheated on my mother, and my husband has never cheated on me or any other past girlfriends....so i think its just the company you keep...it might be hard for you because you're not at that stage where you CAN be...some guys just aren't relationship material...you either have to deal with it and understand you're not going to be with someone for more then a few months or you get over it...find out why you can't stay with just 1 girl...if it ain't her buddy...IT'S YOU!

The way I always figured it was that when you truly find the right mate you won't want anybody else. Or you will just get too old to care anymore!!!

because at some point in life the marriage gets boring. infact its totally human but just that we have to keep it interesting ;)

My deepest sympathy to you!!! I really feel sorry for you. Maybe there are some men who would look on you with favour, but all I see is a self-centred jerk. Monogamy - a lifetime of togetherness with a person of choice IMPROVES as the years go by, and there is never even a single thought of looking elsewhere for satisfaction.

I say it is hard because there are so many people out in the worl that you know nothing of. suppose you have a gf or bf and you see someone that you automatically take to. what do you do? you may try them in hopes of your spouse not finding out.