Alcoholism

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My mother is an alcoholic. She is very distructive in her relationship with my father and he is at the stage where he wants to leave. She abuses everyone & is never wrong in her mind. Trying to talk to her about anything turns into an argument. She is embarrassing to go anywhere with. How am I to handle her? Part of me hates her for her selfish behaviour and not wanting to help herself and the other part feels pity for her. I can't make her give up the bottle. She has to want to do that herself but that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon. How do I deal with her when she is always looking for a fight?