Have you ever faced a similar situation?

I WAS IN THAT SITUATION WHEN I WAS LITTLE. I CHOSE MY MOTHER AND MY BROTHER CHOSE MY FATHER. EVERYONES LIVES TAKE DIFFERNT PATHS AND YOU CANT PREDICT HOW THINGS WILL END UP. MY PARENTS WERE MARRIED 25 YEARS THEN DIVORCED FOR 10 YEARS THEN THEY REMARRIED FOR 5 YEARS NOW THEY ARE SPLITTING UP AGAIN. EVEN THOUGH I LIKED THEM BETTER APART IT BOTHERS ME THAT THEY ARE SPLIITING UP BECAUSE THEY ARE MY PARENTS. I AM 31

i know that my parents thought of getting a divorce twice while i was growing up and that i would have been allowed to choose who i wanted to live with. it wouldn't have been that hard for me to have decided, i would have chosen my father over my mother any day.

I never faced something like you did, I think that´s a bad situation for a child to grow. For sure it can´t be good to the child, I have seen many child that had problems in school and in theirs relationships because of what happened in their childhood. However there other couples that manage that situation extremely good that their children don´t suffer. It´s all about love and care.

Well when you face the same thing every day then its really hard...

I am a product of a broken home. Divorce is never a pretty thing for children. I am also the only one of my four siblings who has not gotten a divorce. I think divorce definitely has repercussions on children as they get older, and has a great deal of influence on their future relationships. When you witness your parents disposing of their relationship, it becomes easier for that child to do so with their own relationship when the road gets rocky. It is a sad truth many people face today. Not that I think children should grow up blaming their parents for their mistakes, because sometimes a divorce is inevitable. Staying together for the kids is not necessarily the best option, in my opinion. Who wants to grow up with parents who hate each other? No matter how happy they act on the outside, kids can always tell these things.

Oftentimes parents that are getting a divorce think its "fair" to let the child decide who to live with. Depending on the age of the child this may or may not be the right decision. For young children, the best thing for parents to do is to decide between themselves what truly is best for the child (which parent is staying in the house? does one have more job-stability? which one lives closest to the childs school/friends?). The parents should also do their best to keep the rest of the childs life as stable as possible. DO NOT move to separate towns. That will only make it harder for the kid to see both parents. Parents should also do their best to work out a custody arrangement that keeps both of them involved in the childs life. Anyting less than a parent putting the child's needs first is selfish and may result in the child acting out in the future in order to get attention, find "love" and acceptance among people that might not be good for him/her.

No, Children shouldn't be forced to chose between parents. But what choice do the parents have? None! It's a different case when both Parents live close by...so then they can live with both...for example my sister and her ex-husband and my niece...my niece has a home with both. She spends some weeks with her dad and some with her mom...but it's totally up to her where she wants to go....they don't make he be here or there...but some situations...maybe if they have financial diffuculties or if one parents moves out of the city...the child may have to be with one parent more than the other. I know it would really suck having to pick one parent over the other but when it really comes down to it the child should stay with the parent that's most responsible!

I would never make my child choose. I think my husband would try to take my son but my son is so attached to me. My husband took him camping and I sent my son a picture of me because when he found out that I was not going, he did not want to go anymore. My husband had to bring him home early because he was crying.

i think child should'nt face a situation like this. coz i know too. my parent seperated when i was 7

these are bad things, and a child should never be forced to make such decisions. unfortunately, they are sometimes. i think that it makes childre to grow too quickly, and this is not good

Yes i did face a similar situation...............................................................................................A child should never face a situation, i stringly beliece that couples with children should never divorce?

I've had to deal with this sort of thing. Except, my mom and I pretty much hated each other, so the choice was easy. No, a child should never have to face this sort of decision. It certainly won't have any good effects on the psyche...though, I have to say, facing this sort of thing is a swift kick in the face that says, 'grow up, now.' I can appreciate that, and do.

i am facing the same thing every day and i am telling its really hard...

Fortunately I've never been in such situation... I think that no child should be put in that situation, but if the relationship of the couple doesn't work out, then they should divorce, because if they stay together against their will, the environment at home will be much worse, and the children will suffer more. But in no cirscumstance should the child be forced to decide between the parents!

I absolutely do not feel any child should have to go through that. It is utterly ridiculous that any parent would do that with their children, I mean they are humans too and just because they are your children does not mean they are your property, they are human beings. so anyway, my parents did not do this to us when they got divorced but it still affected us that they got divorced I mean it was good overall but because it was not mutual it has caused pain and suffering for us kids because my mother can not stop wanting to talk bad about my dad and it is like, okay it has been over 10 years can you just get over it already

I don't think a child should be asked to choose like that. I think that the reprocussions would vary from individual to individual. I think that the reprocussion in you may be that you will be a better husband and father :)

My parents had a huge fight when I was young too. I loved them both. My mom demanded that I choose, that she was leaving him. I chose her. She sat in the car with me and cried. Then she went back into the house and they made up. I have never, to this day, 45 years later, gotten over the guilt of picking her and not my daddy.

You didn't say how old a child, but regardless that is just cruel. Children should not have to 'chose' a parent. Children want both not one or the other, they need both to feel safe and secure. I don't know what repercussions there would be for such a child regarding relationships other than they have learned that they always must make a choice. Whether or not they would be able to distinguish between a friendship choice or a love interest choice I couldn't say. I can see where it may damage a child's ability to trust. With future losses enforcing that damage. Nope kids should never be forced to make a choice between two people they love and need.

yes even i faced the similar situation when i was a kid...but i never chose neither of them..

hello friend, although m not in the similar situation, but i think your parents just did the right thing for you.Perhaps they love you that much thats why they stayed on together...Parents as much as possible shouldnt resort to immediate dicision of divorce cuz children would surely be affected. I am teaching in school and i have observed a lot of behavior problem to kids. Lack of parental guidance,specially those kids whose parents are separated...it wud really affect them greatly...how much more if they grow up knowing that its what their parents were doin, they wud certainly do same thing...and most of these kids grow up hard,impatience cuz all they want is attention,they know how to develop lies,thief cuz of lack of financial support,maybe led to ADHD...etc. See parents are the first to mold childs behavior, they should be there to guide their children as they grow. (^-^)