Conflict between Mother and Wife

I'll tell you something...you are one lucky guy. If you were married to me...I would have left you along time ago. Your wife is not a maid, taking care of everyone's need's. Why do you have so many people living in your home. When a couple get's married, they start their own life, in their own home, if that's not the case, where you are from, then you should have stayed single and had your mommy take care of you. Give your wife a break, get your own home

no way, Your wife married you not your family. your lucky she's still married to u. When your family is disrespecting her there disrespecting you.She has no obligation to your family only u.

if that is your practice explain it to your wife.. but as we all know nowadays women also works for the living..so you should not practice that tradition anymore..everything now has change..and that is what your mother should understan..my mother do all the chores when she is with us..but she iis not living with us..she just come over occassionaly.

No way, Your wife married you not your family. Your lucky your wife is still with you . I would not have stayed. Your obligation is to your wife and to her only, you should never let anyone disrespect her. When they disrespect her there disrespecting you. You have your family now, if you live with your parents you need to move out.

we should respect elders so we have to do the work what they order to do not we should order to them any way sad in point of you

Solution seems to be simple send your wife to work. or stay home for a week and try the role of ur wife i m sure will get the answer for ur post

This is a typical Indian joint family dilemma.A mother of my daughter's classmate went through the same problem.As she couldnt go on like that anymore physically and mentaly she left her husband and went to her father's place.That chap after an year wanted to her come back promising to have a seperate home for them.But at what cost?The child lost one years education.The couple lost one year of precious moments.Why?What for?Loving your mother hasnt got anything to do with your personnal life.What period of civilisation are you in.It is unbelievable that you seek advice for your personnal life.

Did you marry that girl or got ypur mother a maid.I think you are a henpecked son.Mama's darling boy-get some guts in to you tell your mother or bewtter find a maid servant for your home.You are lucky you got a simple girl for your wife-I think you should try doing the same amount of work for her family for rest of your life.Get a maid now and today itself or take your wiffe and shift from this hotel.

y v all desis hav this common complaint and not the goras. the oinly remedy is to separate or atleast live in other house in the same apartment

well, if tradition is strong in you, and you believe in it..then you shouldn't go much against it...but 15 memebers??? is she taking care of your WHOLE family?? is it possible for you to move out? my family has no real traditions, and if you feel your wife shouldn't put up with this then don't let her...remember its your role as a husband to protect the well being of her...she takes care of everyone...the who will take care of her?? she isn't obligated to take care of her in laws. in some old fashion asian families, the woman moves in with the husband and in-laws...the wife does most of the work, because she is younger, but the parents normally pitch in as well. it all depends on YOUR views...you can tell your mother you don't want your wife to be this over worked and opt to move out into your own place...or will the house fall to pieces if she's gone?? if thats the case then your mother should appreciate your wife a lot better and your wife should be making the desisions on how to do the housework. if your mother wants it done a certian way, then she can do it herself (i don't mean to sound to mean). but if your wife does all the work, then she calls the shots and she's in charge.

maybe you should get a place of your own,but in the mean time talk to the other members of the family because at the end of the day your wife marrried you to look after not the rest of your family,talk to your mum its the 2000's not the 1600's

hi friend, the problem seems to be common but it has a solution in my mind. To solve this, one can get involved in the work as compaired to the wife as far as burdens to wife, as possible it will give a peace of mind to wife. In case of mother, we do respect and make mother to gain the idea in silet and respectful manner that she is gaining irrelvant burdens in place. If this doesn't succeeds then one should arrange for actions which gain the interests of wife and mother, to be specific ask freely to both of them that they will not argue on each other but get involved with activities such as for wife to manage the things under mother and reverse case at some points later in continuation.

lolzz... MAn . no matter she is ur mom...but try to explain her one thing.......that. ( if u were in the same position as my wife is wat will u do )...thats it..........Ur wife is also a human being.. not a machine. u have 15 members....atleast....6 of them will b females who stay at home...n can work or help ur..wifE out...Ur wife is not an unpaid servant.......IF U R A MAN...STAND FOR UR WIFE.....no matter she is ur mother.....but wrong is wrong.....ur wife shud..work for ur parents.....but...thats not rite....the she should work for every1.....n rest of them stay back n . give orders...... WAt do ya think.. u married a girl...who will b treated as a servant.....

always support ur mom....

I myself think that the chores should be distributed equally between all women in the household young and old alike. Why make it so hard on one person. She will be to tired to enjoy life and maybe will start to hate it. So maybe have a talk to your mom if she cares anything about your wifes feelings then she will let up on some of the chores a little. I know yo said it is her belief is the daughter in law does all the work but maybe she could help two gets things done faster so they both can enjoy their days better and maybe not so many tussles between them.. I hope you the best in figureing out what is going to be best for you and your wife. I know you don't want to necessarily want to go up against your mother but if you love your wife you need to be on her side and help support her when she is needing your help in her corner.

Well you better just build your own house and move into it with your wife!! and hurry

This is the tradiion of joint family. It would be advisable for you to move out with your wife and make a seperate establishment. This is because i f your wife becomes sick none of your so called 15 family members will look after her and probably your mother will keep cursing her.

according to me your mom should treat ur wife as her daughter !!!!!!!!!then family fights will never occur......

I have been in the situation like your wife before and its so hard because there's a competition for your attention. Your mother hardly accept that you love somebody now more than her and your attention is focused on your wife. You have to be independent enough to leave your parents and start a life away from them together with your own family. Believe me everything will put into place and you will have a peace of of mind even without money to spend.

i don't have this problem.My mother and wife get along with each other very well.