Which you opt for?

It is a fact that your friend faces a problem in child-caring and present employment. The same type of problem was also faced by my wife a decade back. On that, my decission was to put with parents. Because unlike daycare, (grand)parents are more homely and careful to deal and handle an one-year kid. It is not a question of parental attchment, rather a more careful and homely surrounding for the small one. Thanks.

Almost 25 years ago, one of my relations a poor person with very little means of income-an aunt had two children. So when the third one was born, the child's grandparents who lived in another city took the child with them so that the other two could get all the attention possible from the mother. This third child (all three were boys) was so attached to the grandparents and an uncle's family (this uncle lived with his parents-had his own kids and wife living with him) that they take precedence over his natural parents and brothers. Was it good? I think yes, because the boy (now a man married with children of his own) is an upright citizen who contibutes to society and has come up in life. He is very good to his natural parents too, and they have also come up in life and are now quite well off. As far as daycare is concerned, I really don't know the amount of personal care and involvement that can be expected from compelete strangers, and whether emotional attachment with the staff at the day care center is good - I don't know how it works in the United States, I'd rather have my child identify with my parents and depend on them in his childhood, rather than strangers. At a young age, children do need to be touched constantly, to feel needed, to feel that there is someone there who really cares for them and need to build up bonds with an adult female and male, build up bonds of love and trust, and I am sure that my parents would be a lot better at that, than some stranger. Te mother must spend all her spare time with the child even if means travelling distances to ahve the chuild close to her even for a few hours. Once the child is about six or seven, maybe the mother could come back into it's life gradually and then consider daycare and stuff like that. No offense intended towards daycare though, just my personal opinion.

It breaks my heart to hear that someone could go so long without seeing their child. I'm sure the decision is difficult for her but I couldn't do it. I've seen someone leave their child with their parents and despite living on 20 mins away, she rarely saw her daughter. I have a difficult time going a few hours without seeing my children. I don't understand this at all.

well that is a decision the parents have to take. if the mother feels that she is not capable of looking after the child then it is better off with the parents where it will atleast get due attention. a daycare centre is not the best place for a baby to grow up. dont you think the grandparents will give it better care than a daycare centre? on the other hand i find it a very disturbing trend that young people are producing children they are not capable of looking after.

It sounds like your friend is doing what she thinks best for her child. I am a grandmother who has custody of my oldest grandson and I also worked in a daycare. Yes her child will surely become more attached to the grandparents and the parents will not feel the attachemnt for their child that they normaly would if they lived in the same household. My middle daughter is staying with us for a while, and is Rays mother. She just went thru a divorce and has recently gotten married to a fine man. We talked about whether she would want Ray back and she said no it was best for him to stay because he had grown to attached to us. Even she recognized that fact and only wants what is best for her child. On the other hand a really good daycare can be very expensive. Being a daycare worker is hard. You have almost no options for controling the kids. Except time out. On some that works. And as kids get older and they find out that a daycare worker is tied by law in how to handle situations things can get pretty bad. My husband worked at the same daycare I did. He had older boys and one day one kid was hitting another. My husband told him to stop. Know what the kid said? I don't have to and you can't do anything about it. My husband did something about it and got fired. He didn't abuse the kid but he did punish him with more then a time out. Not all daycares are like this. But as I said before really good ones are expensive and you probably end up in the hole money wise even with two people working so what would be the point of going to work in the first place?

myself i feel bad. up to 3years baby needs mother's love.

Yes , i do agree with you my friend. U said it. Otherwise the kid may loose that affection for his parents and it may have bad effect on both sides.

I would never ever do it. One month is ok, but not longer than one month.

I'm sure this is a hard decision for your friend. Sometimes, you have to do what you have to do for the safety and well being of the child. I sure wish she could see her baby more than once a year. The child may never really bond with her. If she could find daycare that is reasonable then that would be fine, but she has to be careful and check out the day care provider and make sure they are licensed.

Some people have to face very difficult situations in life. your friend is taking a very difficult decision here by keeping her baby alive. This may look and sound very cruel but she has the best intentions for the baby and instead of putting the baby in a daycare (in strangers hands) the grandparents will give more attention and love to the baby.

I agree with u! They are missing such a beautiful phase of their life! Seeing the child when he is fast a sleep and the moment heopens his eyes, and starts searchng for known faces.Seeing him when he laughs seeing a flower or butterfly! Its all amazing. They are missing somthing that their money cant buy.And on the other hand,the child may not relate to them easily and will b more attatched to his grandparents!!

I would rather put my child in daycare where I could see them at the end of every day. I got out of the military when I was pregnant b/c I would have had to send my baby back to the states & sign her over to someone. Even though it would have been my parents, I did not believe that was the best choice for all involved.

well,she/he have to do everything to raise her/his child...cause having a child is a big responsibility...but being a parent,not only in material things they have to pay attention about but also the emotional attachment that they're child needed most...especially,when they are still young...because,when a child grew up w/o parents in his/her besides,its so hard to be attached in your son/daughter when they're old enough.

There are actually a few options for her to choose. First, she can work part-time in order to support her child and herself.She may work half day in the morning and ask her parents to take care of her child half day, and come back from work in the evening to take care of her cild. Second, she can be a full-time housewife, if her family background is financially freedom. Third, she may employ a nanny to look after her child during the daylight, so that she can see her cild everyday. Is she a single mother? If yes, maybe she can find a rich husband, so that she doesn't need to worry so much for her living. Of course, life is not so simple, childhood is very important to everybody in order for them to learn new things and know what is LOVE.

I think she is doing a good thing. If she was going out and partying and she didn't want the baby so she could go out that's different but she's doing it for a better life.

see as for me the baby needs mother's luv and care cos this is da time where u can concentrate and be caring for him.. when he's grown up he'll be not interested in u..and also it depend upon the way ur mom and dad treat him.. and bring him up..

no i don't think that is good thing done by her she earns money to make his little child life better but she has also give a time to his little baby.

this depends entirely on how desperate they are!if they ned the money i would say its a good decision! because the childs life depends on it! the child might think the mom not there but then later on he will understand y! she wasnt! as long as she doesnt over do it!