What is the "right thing"?
By bluuyze
@bluuyze (67)
United States
December 11, 2006 11:05am CST
My friend works at a school for children with special needs. A lot of the children are living in foster homes, either their parents were on drugs or abused them. There is a little girl about 3 that has down's syndrome and cannot speak. The girl lives in a foster home, but her biological parents ("previous" drug users) are allowed to take her home on the weekends. When she comes back every Monday, its something new, a bruise or a burn, some sort of physical trauma has occured to this child. My friend is the teacher's assistant in the class and always brings it to the attention of the teacher every time, and the teacher makes a call to the biological parents, asking what happened. When the parents give her whatever new excuse they have come up with, she logs it into the communication book, and that's that. DCFS is never called. They take the parent's word for it, no other action is taken. Recently when my friend has tried to change the girl's diaper, she locks her legs and screams. I told her she needs to call DCFS herself, she says she is afraid of what will happen if she is wrong. Her aunt suggested making an anonymous call. Will they take her seriously do you think? My heart goes out to this little girl.
42 responses
@Ambur25 (1006)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Your friend is REQUIRED by LAW to report ANY and ALL suspicions to the state. If something happens and the parents are found out to be abusing this child, your friend can go down right along with them simply because she ignored the signs and failed to care for this child.
When you make a call DCFS, they don't go out and start accusing the parents, and arrest them on the spot! Any family associated with ANY state programs, knowingly accept these terms under the condition that state workers can come to your home at any time for inspection. This is simply what they would do. They may come to the center where the child is and "inverview" the child, which ends up being more like play time for the little girl. And they will talk with the parents. Not accusingly, but talk. It can be done annonymously. The best thing for your friend to do, is go above the teacher's head, and talk to the supervisor. If nothing happens then, she needs to go higher. It's every teacher, teacher assistant, supervisor's responsibility to take the best care possible of a child. Even if that means intervention.
@Ambur25 (1006)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Btw, another thing your friend needs to remember... if this is your "friend" and not you personally, she can also be charged with violation of a child's/parent's privacy. Nothing that happens inside a center, daycare, preschool etc, is to be shared with any non-employee. That is also "by law." It is very illegal to discuss "inside" situations with "outside" people.
@BellasmamaTiff (2544)
• United States
11 Dec 06
Your friend is required, as the assistant, to notify DCFS of these things. If nothing is being done by the teacher, your friend has the responsibility to do something about it herself. Like an anonymous hotline call. If its always this way, as far as EVERYTIME there is something new when she comes back from being with the biological parents, there IS abuse going on and someone HAS to do something! If nothing else, give ME the info and I WILL DO IT!!! Please protect this child, and you know about it now too, so, you yourself could place a hotline call. But please don't just sit back and stay silent. This child NEEDS someone to help her!
@sugarbritches (289)
• United States
11 Dec 06
I fully agree with you! It is something that needs to be checked out. I would not hesitate if I suspected abuse like that. Bruises and such are common with kids, but burns, and the behaviour at diaper changes is not normal.
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
12 Dec 06
That poor little girl. your friend needs to go to the supervisor above the teacher and show them the log book of all the things done to this child. Then she herself needs to call DCFS. They have to take action considering the child is only 3 and has downs syndrome and dosnt know better. Something has to be done before she is sexually violated or worse dosnt come back at all.
She sounds like she could be a sweet child if only the abuse would stop.
@GrammaFood (716)
• United States
12 Dec 06
That teacher can lose her job for not contacting dcfs especially if she's writing it down and not reporting it. If it turns out to be nothing then nothing will happen to her,but if it does then she saved this little girl. If i were you i would call myself. That teacher has no conscience to see a chil being abused and not doing anything about it. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing about this and not doing anything about it. Help that little girl and call.
@crystal8577 (1466)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I would rather call & be wrong than not have called at all. This little girl at 3 can not speak up for herself. She is relying on others to be her voice. If something serious were to happen to her because you didn't call then you would never forgive yourself.
@mrsjumppuppy03 (3301)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I would take the info to the principal first, then have the foster parents brought in for an information session. Maybe it isn't the bio parents and the foster care ones and it is strictly coincidental. Approach cautiously, this is a delicate situation.
Can this child draw, if so, have her draw pictures of how she got the marks.
It is sad when someone neglects and abuses any child with or without a handicap. Good luck
@blondegirl1975 (4298)
•
12 Dec 06
I have a friend who works with children, I asked her for her take on it. She currently has a child in her care that maybe suffering a similar fate, in this case they have been docummenting incidences that have occured and have contacted the relevent bodies.they've been told to speak with the parents and see what happens in the new year see if anything changes. if not contact will be made again and they will take it further. Unfortunitly and heartbreakingly, enough information has to be noted before anyone can seriously step in, all we can hope for is that it doesn't come too late!! But I agree that if the teacher isn't doing her job then someone has to step in, the child's welfare is paramount! This little girl can't speak for herself-someone has too
@ciotog17 (54)
• United States
12 Dec 06
i thought dcfs could take anonymous reports of child abuse. they would take her seriously if she acts serious and goes over the whole story of what she's seen. maybe if she has one of those camera phones she could document the latest burn or whatever? that way dcfs wouldn't just have her word, but visible proof.
@siddharth_sampad (319)
• India
12 Dec 06
the right thing id to inform the DCFS...
one cannote let the child suffer so much and such incidens cannot happen so frequently
so the matter shud be considered seriously
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
12 Dec 06
it's necessary to make the call and to do it immediately. your friend as well as you can see the evidence of abuse and even if the biological parents make lame excuses this case needs to be looked into more deeply. she will never know if she's wrong or not if she doesn't take action.
@nizedevil (12)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Call the DCFS asap. If your friend is afraid, she could make an anynomous call. Even if she is wrong, she shouldn't get into any trouble, cus she suspected something wrong and was trying to help the child.
Good luck
@mygreyparrot (1461)
• United States
12 Dec 06
That teacher needs to do something! I believe there are laws that you must report what you see as a teacher. Obviously the parents are hurting her. Your friend needs to call DCFS if the other teacher won't.
@michaelray (29)
• Ireland
12 Dec 06
Your friend did the right thing by escalating her concerns to the next level. Apparantly her worries have not been addressed. If she still feels that the child is being abused she needs to do something more. She could share her concerns with the responsible teacher and try to find out why he/she feels no further action is necessary.
If she still feels that there is a problem either get her to contact childservices or confront the parents. She might be wrong, but doing nothing is always wrong!
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
12 Dec 06
Put it like this to your friend, everyday abusive parents manage to have their children returned to them after they have "proven" they are changed people. Other words if they aren't caught doing the same old things they lost their kids for in the first place, they get their kids back. If DCFS has nothing on record during this probation time, then they have no reason for not returning that child back to them completely. Since they have visitation on weekends, it sounds like they have a darn good chance. If she really cares about this child, then SHE needs to report it to DCFS . I would rather lose a job by doing the right thing, than keeping one knowing I could have saved a child, but choose not to.
Hope this helps.
@crazynilesh (16)
• India
12 Dec 06
right things can be many .... for wat concern u r asking ?? wat do u say anywayz??
@5berries (120)
• United States
12 Dec 06
She needs do do something, damn the consecuences. What happens to this girl if she does nothing? What if she doesn't come back from a weekend because the parents went too far? Your friend could forgive herself for being wrong but I know I would beat myself up for being right and doing nothing. A childs life is more precious than anything else. I was told once that people with Down Syndrome were actually angels because they are so pure of heart. All the more reason to do something.
