Letting go
By suniljoseph
@suniljoseph (246)
India
December 11, 2006 7:28pm CST
Have you ever faced the reality of letting go of friends.
I have had many close friends, from school, junior college, college... and they were with me through thick and thin during those times. but once we had to part, once we had to choose our own path, i had to let them go, not because i wanted them to go, but because of the pain.
imagine your body being pulled into 2 different directions. I felt the same way when the paths that me and my friends chose made us go in different directions. all of us made new friends, and even though the old friendship never died, the frequency of contact began to fade. it made me sad to think that my friend could forget about me. but then i realised that at some point or other everyone has to part way, and it is better to let go so that when we meet again, we wont have to meet with the pain of loss, but with the happiness of finding someone we always loved.
have you had such experiences. do let me know
3 people like this
44 responses
@Coblosion (6)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Growing up and growing apart from friends is a natural process in a lot of cases. New friendships replace those that were once strong. I've come to realize that no matter how much you'd like to continue a friendship as if it were always the same, it takes work from both sides of a friendship for that to work.
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
12 Dec 06
i have a lot of friends who are in different places..New friends may come and go but the friends from the past are still with me.. Once in a week we put conference call and all my friends chat... FRIENDSHIP NEVER DEPARTS..
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
12 Dec 06
well, that was my friend, typed in something while i went for water.
I agree with you 100%,just now i realized that i have to call a few of my friends. and if you live in the past, then it will affect your current and future friendships.
2 people like this
@gifana (4833)
• Portugal
12 Dec 06
When I was working for the government and working overseas I made lots of friends with the local people. My tours were at least two years in length and I made some very close friends. Not only that I had a maid in each country. Leaving these friends behind was the hardest part of my being in the Foreign Service. When I left Colombia I couldn't stand leaving my maid behind....she was like a daughter to me...so I took her to the States for the two months I was there before going on to my next post. I thought it would be easier to say goodbye letting her go back to Colombia but in fact it was even harder. I tried hard not to made friends in these assignments and many people considered me to be very cold and unfriendly. However, after they got to know me they changed their minds. But I did try to keep them at arms length.
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
12 Dec 06
i find it difficult when i find friends seperated by small distance, so i can imagine how difficult it would if you are seperated by countries. sometimes i feel that the best thing to do would be to keep distance and not get too involved, but then i realise that it is the most stupidest way to live. the pain you have to suffer is the punishment for enjoying life and friends too much.
2 people like this
@cessy1 (1748)
• Philippines
13 Dec 06
yes i did..during college there was a guy that became so close with me that we were like the closest friends..then we became aware that there was something special and were bound to be lovers..the feeling was mutual but didn't materialize because he said that he was not fully over his ex..it was ok with me but i wished that we were able to keep the friendship :(
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
14 Dec 06
that is truely sad... call him now, maybe he is ready now
1 person likes this
@Fire_Sprite (82)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
In our life there are people who come into
out lives for awhile and we become a part of their tapestry. People do move on and
their lives are richer for having been in ours and us in theirs. As for high school
friends it is a case of growing apart as jobs, workmates and moving to be with the job in another place. Or even further education can be thing that moves people on to meet people with different interests.
One thing that has come to mind is that all these wonderful people hold a special part in your heart.
2 people like this
@sanctified (151)
• Philippines
22 Dec 06
in any kind of relationship there would come a time that letting go would be better than keeping it, trying to keep a relationship that has become a burden - professionally, emotionally, physically - would only hurt you and the pain doesn't stay the same, it progress until it consumes you.
have i experienced it, i think most of us do, i mean all people with emotion must gotten into this emotional dllemma.
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
22 Dec 06
i think that says almost all of it...thank you
1 person likes this
@hottamale (116)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Letting go of a friend is something I have had to do just recently! I can honestly say its one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I graduated from high school and my best friend decided to go on without me and branch out to meet other people while forgetting about me. It has hurt a lot because we were always there for each other and now i talk to her less than once a week. Leaving and losing a friend is extremely hard!
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
14 Dec 06
i cant blame her, everyone needs space to grow. but did she really forget about you... just give her a call... she might be hoping you would call
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13388)
• United States
13 Dec 06
I have definitely faced with letting friends go. It is sad to have to do that be both me and them have our own lives to live and many of my friends are married and have kids and are too busy to keep in touch anymore. Some of the ones that I let go turned out to not really be friends and they used me for their own personal gain. It would be great to see some of them again and then there are some I never want to see again.
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
14 Dec 06
that is true in everyone's life... no one can claim all his/her friends are true..
1 person likes this
@sniffierrook (117)
• India
12 Dec 06
all frnds tat i hv r true frnds and stand by me when i need them,
once i let go of my frnd bcause i thought tat there was no frndship betwn us only competition, well he took it that way, later however he realised it and bcame my frnd.
2 people like this
@_hope_ (3902)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
at the age of fifteen i left everone and moved away from family,friends and my pets it was so hard but i couldn`t continue living there as things were .I became so lonely and sad that was over thirty years ago and i have never changes i missed out on friends and everything
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
14 Dec 06
but i am sure there were other things that compensated for that. when one door shuts, 2 opens..
1 person likes this
@anne_143god (5387)
• Philippines
12 Dec 06
Yeah, I experienced it alot before we had a very good friend who use to be with us but she founf a new group of friends that she like more she just stop going with us.
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
13 Dec 06
guess she moved on before you. it would be great if both of you had moved off together. there wouldnt have been any regret if that was the case
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
14 Dec 06
thanks for your complements... and yes people do change, but to be completly out of touch...that is really sad. i find it very difficult to move on, and am very sad when my friends move on
1 person likes this
@Beautiful_Nightmare (1337)
•
12 Dec 06
I lost friends when I left school but I told myself if there friends worth having, we won't loose contact. I hated my school days anyway but now I'm at college, I hope that when I leave in May that I don't loose any contact with my friends as we all get on so well and it would be a shame to loose contact with them.
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
13 Dec 06
its easy to make friends, but its harder to maintain a friendship
2 people like this
@chiquita1977 (1706)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I had to let some friends go also ya know what they say to really know who your friends truly are you have to be in trouble and the ones who are there are really your friends because your friends will be there for you no matter what and stand by you.friends can forget about you especially if they really are not your friend like you thought they were.
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
14 Dec 06
i have seen friends with whom i had been out of touch for a long time, but they turned up when i needed them, but is that enough...a friend is indeed a friend at times of need, but i want them to be my friend all the time. selfish... i know
1 person likes this
@neon2000 (2756)
• Philippines
12 Dec 06
I have friends, close and just acquaintances. It's hard to let go when they became very close to you and treated them as part of your family. But life has to go on, we want them to move on to have a better life away from us. We don't want to hinder that kind of ambition to take away from them, so we have to let go.
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
12 Dec 06
true, but i think most often we are also selfish, do you think we will be able to hold on to our friends if we were to have a better life away from them. i had moved away from home for a job, i miss my friends, but i cant go home leavin this job, just because of that. but the good thing is that, it is a test of friendship. you know which friends will be with you even when you are far away.
2 people like this
@leonilyn (467)
• Philippines
12 Dec 06
me and my college friend got teary eyed when we have to part ways..i decided already to go to my husbands place which is 1 hr and 45 mins ride by plane from our place....she tell me that she even felt sad when her sister asked her where am i and will i'm not going to spend the night in their house because the day i leave is also the when her parents and siblings went to their province and she cannot come with them for some work related reasons.. and for those instances they usually calls me to be with her for the rest of the night...when i read her email i really shed tears..but now we regularly send emails and text messages... :)
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
12 Dec 06
you really have a good friendship, just keep nourishing it, and it can last a lifetime.
2 people like this
• Canada
12 Dec 06
lettin of friends u have known for many years is really hard, i've had to let go of friends cause of movin or watever, changin schools was hard lettin go of old friends and makin new ones was ten times harder than anythin, i think keepin in touch helps wit that feelin of losin ur friends, but sometime down the road u'll see them again
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
13 Dec 06
yes, the world is so small... you got to meet them again.
2 people like this
@health4uandpets (259)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Friends are one thing that has never bothered me. If I move or let go of one, it's life. Maybe we didn't have the same views or hobbies or one of us were moving in a different direction and we separated. I don't regret meeting them, being friends with them or possibly no longer speaking to them. Sometimes I think it's for the best.
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
12 Dec 06
i believe that is the best way to have a healthy relationship, but do you forget about them, do you keep it touch with them once in a while?
2 people like this
@butterpecan (688)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Yes i have sometime friends can do things to hurt you, or can really be a bad influence on you, so it just life sometimes you have to just let people go sometime even family members.
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
13 Dec 06
yes, that is a good reason to let go, but what if you let go because of no specific reason?
2 people like this
@Kaorin (756)
• Australia
12 Dec 06
I've come to terms with the fact that friends are beautiful, special things, but most of them do not last forever. People drift apart, have falling outs, and are often the best of friends yet linked by only one common factor, like school.
I've lost a lot of good friends to many of these. I don't make friends easily, though, so it's a little sad to see some of them drift away. However I know that there is always a million other people out there, and you just need to have fun with your friends while life and your friendship is fantastic and strong. Live for the moment, like you know your friendship will end tomorrow. Only then will you never regret it when or if they drift away.
2 people like this
@suniljoseph (246)
• India
13 Dec 06
but dont you think that a part of them remains with you?
2 people like this
