IF U ALL GUYS HAVE ANY JOKES LIKE THIS PLEASE RESPOND...........................

good one giving a (+) read mine too There were 4 sardars in Mumbai.They decided to start a business.They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up. WHY ? - Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed." After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage. WHY ? B'cos their garage was on the first floor. After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Ford running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY ? B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi. All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines.They started pushing heir taxi.They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldnt budge. WHY ? B'cos two sardarjis were pushingfrom front and two from behind Back for more checkout http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/499605.aspx

you write so long story, i can't understand it very much. maybe it's a good story, i will read it again later buddy.

Thanks for the laugh, have a great day

loveed the joke ty for makeing my dat lol

If Architects Had To Work Like Programmers... Dear Mr. Architect: Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdowns for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one at a later time. Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them). As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.) Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate (among other things) my 1952 Gibson refrigerator. To assure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, you will need to contact each of my children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of theses options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any decisions that you make. Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house and get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpeting. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue. Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours. While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the potential homebuyers in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at the house my neighbor built last year, as we like it a great deal. It has many things that we feel we also need in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the construction cost. Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes. You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your ideas and completed plans. PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect. PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

too good yaar, now enjoy this one There's this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and gulps it down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here,... I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I sleep through the alarm, and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!!!"

ha ha ha you know the biggest joke in the world is you.(laugh)

all ur jokes are very nice

Here are some other good jokes.... Best Friend Banta is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. Santa happens to come into the bar and sees him. "Banta," says the shocked Santa, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, Banta replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp. "But," says Santa man, "I'm your best friend!" Banta turns to Santa, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!" Married Life Not long after his marriage, Joe and his father, met for lunch. "Well, son," asked the father, "how is married life treating you?" "Not very well, I'm afraid," sighed Joe. "It seems I married a nun." "A nun?" his father questioned. "That's right," moaned Joe. "None in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!" Joe's father nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the back a couple of times. "Why don't we all get together for dinner tonight and have a nice talk?" Joe smiled, "Say, Dad, that's a great idea!" "Fine," replied the father, "I'll call home and tell the Mother Superior to set two extra plates." Misunderstanding The homeowner was delighted with the way Santa had done all the paintwork on his house. "You did a great job," he said as he handed Santa his fees. "Also, in order to thank-you, here's an extra 500 bucks to take the wife out to dinner and a movie." Santa declined, saying, "No, I can't accept that." "I insist," said the man. "It would make me very happy if you do it." "Well," said Santa reluctantly, but with appreciation, "If you really don't mind it, I'll do it." Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was Santa, standing there in clean clothes, holding a bouquet of flowers. Thinking that Santa had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you leave something behind?" "Nope," replied Santa. "I'm just here to take the wife out to dinner and a movie like you asked."

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump. "What can I do for y'all?" asks the attendant. "Fill `er up with high test," replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before." "Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this, my boy is a 1999 Cadillac DeVille." "What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant. "Well," says the driver, "it has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine." "Wow," says the attendant, "that's really something!" "How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver. "That'll be $30.17," says the attendant. The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees. "What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant. "That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver. "Wow," says the attendant, "those Cadillac people think of everything!" One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money. Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation... The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride. The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff." Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"

Here are some other good jokes.... Best Friend Banta is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. Santa happens to come into the bar and sees him. "Banta," says the shocked Santa, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, Banta replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp. "But," says Santa man, "I'm your best friend!" Banta turns to Santa, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!" Married Life Not long after his marriage, Joe and his father, met for lunch. "Well, son," asked the father, "how is married life treating you?" "Not very well, I'm afraid," sighed Joe. "It seems I married a nun." "A nun?" his father questioned. "That's right," moaned Joe. "None in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!" Joe's father nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the back a couple of times. "Why don't we all get together for dinner tonight and have a nice talk?" Joe smiled, "Say, Dad, that's a great idea!" "Fine," replied the father, "I'll call home and tell the Mother Superior to set two extra plates." Misunderstanding The homeowner was delighted with the way Santa had done all the paintwork on his house. "You did a great job," he said as he handed Santa his fees. "Also, in order to thank-you, here's an extra 500 bucks to take the wife out to dinner and a movie." Santa declined, saying, "No, I can't accept that." "I insist," said the man. "It would make me very happy if you do it." "Well," said Santa reluctantly, but with appreciation, "If you really don't mind it, I'll do it." Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was Santa, standing there in clean clothes, holding a bouquet of flowers. Thinking that Santa had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you leave something behind?" "Nope," replied Santa. "I'm just here to take the wife out to dinner and a movie like you asked."

That was a nice one that i have i read in quite a while . keep up the spirit