A question for those who believe in God...
By kshambl
@kshambl (108)
United States
December 12, 2006 1:06pm CST
If you do not believe in God, then please move on to the next message as your answer will be a wate of time...THANKS!
I am wondering if you are divorced, but you still have "relations" with your ex, is that considered a sin/fornication?
I ask because in the bible it says that even if you get divorced, be single unless you are reconciled to your spouse, but I am still unsure if that means "getting married" to your ex again...or is it once married, always married (even after divorce).
I know it sounds confusing, but it sounds just like I feel...confused. Thanks!
38 responses
@shoreboy31 (1433)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Ummm...very good question. My personal feelings on this is that God did make allowances for divorces, but he did forbid extra- or pre-marital relations. So once you are divorced it would be fornication to have realations with your ex. No God never did say that you must be single forever unless you reconcile with your spouse. If he did it was probably mentioned in Leviticus which was God's old laws to the Hebrews. Those laws were to be followed in those times simply because Jesus hadn't come to die as a sacrifice for us. This made the only path to heaven through works instead of faith. Now that Jesus has provided a way for us through faith we no longer have to follow the antiquated day to day laws set forth for the Hebrews in the Old Testament.
@kshambl (108)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Please help me undersatnd 1 Corinthians 7:10-17. It says: "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches."
@MakDomMom (1474)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Try this translation from The Message. It's easier to understand since it is in "plain English" 1 Corinthians 7:10-17 And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master's command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife. For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God. On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him or her go. You don't have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God. You never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you but to God. And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don't think I'm being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.
@pvleroux (606)
•
12 Dec 06
It is important to look at this in context. "Speak I, not the Lord" this is clearly written by Paul to the Corrinth church. There must have been a problem in this for Paul to address it. First find out why Paul wrote this to them and you will see the reason why Paul said this. How is your conscience. There are a few questions you have to ask yourself:
1. Are you still married to her
2. Do you cheat on her
3. Do you still love her
4. Does she still want to be with you
This is only a few questions but dont let a signature or something that was started by humans get between your relationship with God.
@pvleroux (606)
•
12 Dec 06
The Bible also says that whatever God put together, let no man seperate it. If you still see your ex, why dont you get back with her. I dont think it is wrong depends on what your thoughts are. If you dont feel good about it, then dont do it and I know it is easier said than done. I am glad however to see that you would like to do the will of God and God will make His will open to you when you walk according to the Spirit. Keep on asking God and He will make it clear to you. Let me know how it goes...
@malsun (1528)
• United States
13 Dec 06
I agree. If you say that things are better with your ex then you should get back.
@EconKnowMix (858)
• Philippines
13 Dec 06
Yah! what is the used of keeping separated
if you two keep each other.
go back to each arm as a married couple
God will understand.
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
17 Dec 06
That is a good question. But the bible says that we cannot divorce. I think that you should pray to God for Him to reveil the answer to you. You will know in your heart if it is right or wrong. Blessings
@charjones (28)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Having relations with your ex is a sin. True, there are only certain reasons we are to divorce and this is after the two of you have exhausted all resources. It's unfortunate that the marriage ended, but it's over in that particular aspect. I did not read where it says to stay single unless you reconcile. To answer your question, the two of you have to chill unless you plan on seeking christian counseling and mend your marriage.
@kshambl (108)
• United States
13 Dec 06
I read the stay unamarried unless reconciling to husband in 1 Corinthians 7:10-17. It says: "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches."
@cizmapiele (349)
• Finland
17 Dec 06
Just do the way it is correct without hurting anyone, and not yourself either. God will understand you.
@0752620184 (220)
• Uganda
13 Dec 06
Separation depends on the grounds for which you are separating, otherwise, the bible mentions only one scritural grounds for divorce to take place and thus on the grounds of fornication/adultary committed by one's mate.[Matthew 19:8,9].Outside this,you will be committing adultary. Also, there are still a few grounds it cotinues to mention, that is when your mate becomes a threat to you life, when your mate refuses to provide for the family's needs, and when your mate does not allow you to worship God in the right way[this is in the true religion].
So please, examine yourself accordingly with what the scriptures say.
@viralpatel (26)
• India
13 Dec 06
i m believe in god.. god such make good thigs ..god make man and animal .. god are know about future .people says parents is our god..god is living in the earth .they take our care .
@Hamlet333 (724)
• Pakistan
13 Dec 06
I can make it clear to you.Its not permitted in Islam to live together before marriage and after divorce its also not permitted to live with your ex-relation because it is considered a sin.Even we are not permitted to get married with the same person again after Divorce that is why divorce is the worst right action according to the rules of Islam.It should be considered when there wud be no solution left.I hope your confusion become clear.
@marymaejazmine83 (470)
• Philippines
13 Dec 06
me too im a bit confused..i have never been married.. and if id be married ill make sure i wont get divorced. its the hardest thing to do .
@krishna_iyer (29)
• India
13 Dec 06
on your query, let us not get too deep into religion - marriage or divorces are means invented by us humans for an orderly society. when a man and woman are together in wedlock they develop a lot of intimacies of which they are unaware of on a practical plane. togetherness produces soft feelings like being wanted, need to protect, need to love and a sense of commitment and furtherance of one's family tree and so on. when there is a standoff, due to ego problems one tends to forget about all that soft feelings and want to take "revenge" on each other, without realizing that such "revenge" is not exacted on the other person alone but on your physical and mental being also. when the anger subsides, the motive to revenge is gone but the soft feelings remain because a long time of intimacy cannot be substituted or replaced that soon by either partner. obviously,
as a consequence if the two happened to meet at a social level, it is but natural that you are drawn to the other which results in physical wellbeing. our divorce laws should be framed in anothr manner that when you ask for divorce, it is granted pronto but with a rider that within another two years if the parties want to reconcile, the divorce is autoomatically canceled. how would it be in your case?
on a religious tone, God acts in mysterious ways, and maybe the reconciliation feeling you have to get together is His wish since you could be destined to live together again.
@mcbota (2125)
• Romania
13 Dec 06
God doesnt intend for the man and wife to be divorced but because of sin this was happened! So if You now are divorced you broke Gods law !and If you are not anymore married with your ex and still live with her ,again you break gODS COMMANDS! sO FOR SURE REGARDING the bible you are living in sin with your ex!
@anne_143god (5387)
• Philippines
13 Dec 06
No, I dont think so you commit fornication. What is the reason you divorse your partner?? If it is because you discover your ex has commiting adultery then you are comiting fornication. Because there is only one reason that God gave us to divorse our partner and that is adultery. If that is your case if you get married again you are no commiting fornication. Maybe if you really love each other then married again for you not to commit fornication.
@cybver42 (194)
• Philippines
13 Dec 06
as what we all know that we promis in front of the altar and of course to God that you will be together for bad and for good if your divorce stiil in Gods eye your stiil married.. as what it say what is declare bound on earth will be bound in heaven divorce was just a mans law. not by God.
@love143 (170)
• India
13 Dec 06
how can you beleive in a god when there is absolutely no proof no shred nothing at all to proof he exists except exerpts of him written in a book from a time when man still beleived the earth was flat??? what's to beleive anyways? that mary gave birth without having a male on top of her?...sorry...she was no virgin....that Noah built an ark and had all of the species on his boat for 40 days and 40 nights?....plus all the food to sustain them?....sh*t....we don't even have the technology to do that now....that Adam and Eve had children and then their children mated with each other and that they mated with their children in order to populate the world?...that god wasn't pleased with his creation of man?....that this almighty creator created a imperfect being?....like I said....what is there to believe?...oh...and to kingsroad....you are the one lying to yourself and everybody else if you think that....I did as a child....I am not going to lie about that....but I grew up and gained some wisdom....I studied the bible as well....it's full of bs....and it contradicts itself so many times throughout it how could you beleive seriously??....I find it ignorant that people do believe in god....and I don't lie because I have absolutely no reason to....don't sit there and tell people that everybody beleives in god because they don't.....you are the one lying
