What can I do!?! Help!
By alyb2b
@alyb2b (108)
United States
December 13, 2006 12:33pm CST
I am such a girl! I keep going up and down, up and down with this whole preg. thing...It's so stupid! My husband and I have been trying for baby #1 for over nine months now, and I am so frustrated and sad because it is taking so long! ANd I know that it is supposed to take up to year for some people, but I look around at all of my friends getting pregnant and it just breaks my heart!Some days I feel great! I know that in God's time it will happen. But other times I just can't handle it! I just feel so broken and like for some reason i don't deserve to be a mother or something! When my whole life that is all I have ever wanted to be...more than anything else in the whole world!
I know that I have a loving husband and I know he loves me for me, and we will always be a family with ourselves...but you should have seen him at the Christmas Party tonight...there were so many babies there, and he was playing with them and laughing, and just the love in his eyes for those children just made my heart ache! Not to mention that I just found out that two more of my close friends are pregnant as well. I was so happy for them! I really was! But when i let myself feel it, i just cry and feel sorry for myself, which I am trying desperatly not to do...
Sorry this is so long, I just needed to express how I feel, it has been bottled up for so long, I feel like I am going to explode!
I have just one simple question for those of you who have been trying for over a year--even two! How do you do it? I know that you have your moments, but you just seem like you just deal with it....that's all anyone can do I guess...but you are truly an inspiration to me! We have only been trying for 9 months, and yet it seems like an eternity!
Well, thanks so much for letting me vent, I feel begining to feel better... I hope you forgive me for this being so long... thanks for listening! Any words of adive or comfort would be very much appreciated!
11 people like this
59 responses
@JustSimplyLissa (547)
• United States
13 Dec 06
It's good to get things off your chest.
I'm actually going through a very similar thing right now. And I'm trying to cope with it all.
I've got added issues to my situation. I've had cervical damage from a long time ago. I've been pregnant 3x, and lost all 3.
Plus right now, I have no healthcare coverage, and cannot afford the huge bill for even having a baby. My fiance and I have been talking alot about having children. He's egar and wants them now. But being the prudent person I am, it's really not possible.
Hopefully god will bless you soon.
2 people like this
@Acts238girl (2087)
• United States
13 Dec 06
you know,i can really relate to what you are saying.me and my husband have been trying to have another baby for over a year now.we have had no luck either.it seems like everybody around us is getting pregnant.i know first hand how much it hurts.if you ever want to email or anything feel free.my email address is roxie054@yahoo.com
good luck!
@sanell (2112)
• United States
14 Dec 06
oh you are so sweet, I too struggled but I now have two kids, took me 6 years to finally have my first baby it was the longest and hardest road I have ever been through. If you want to know about some things I did or what I have learned through out just email me at sansvande@yahoo.com
@Justme2007 (1848)
• United States
14 Dec 06
If you would like to talk I am here also mspettynot2004@yahoo.com
@Lauraleigh99 (4718)
• United States
13 Dec 06
It will happen what it is meant to happen. Just think of all the fun you are having by trying!! :)
1 person likes this
@ozangel82 (753)
• Australia
14 Dec 06
I know that because I was on the pill before we decided to get preggers, it took over a year for me to conceive. Were you on the pill? If you were it will take longer than expected, I think the only reason I finally did fall pregnant was because I was on a course of antibiotics for an infected wisdom tooth, and when you are on the pill yuou are told that it is not effective when combined with antibiotics. Finally I fell pregnant, and it was a relief, but I often wonder if it was only because the antibiotics had made what was left of the pill in my system ineffective.
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Wow, that's not what I was told. I was told that when you stop taking the pill you can get pregnant quite quickly and your chances are greater to have twins. I'm glad you finally got your baby. Congrats! Have a good day!
@aboutlostit (126)
• United States
13 Dec 06
i wasnt suppost to have kids and my husbend and i wanted them once we quit trying we got pregnat and now have three one is a stepson from my hubby
1 person likes this
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I know that to you and he this is just the end of the world if you can't have a baby but honey I've got 4 even if you hit the Jackpot think of the prize, children are work. Enjoy practicing and when your good enough at it you'll score one.
@innechen (1318)
• Indonesia
15 Dec 06
same situation with me, the diff is i've been trying for 1yrs,its not happens yet until now. i also feel the same way like u, but then i realize the more we force ourselve and the more stress becoz of it make us become more hard to have a baby, i suggest stop thinking so hard, relax a little bit and keep trying.if the time is right you'll get one soon.go to doctor regulary ask for a medicine that can help become more fertile.dont give up and dont depress.i hope you'll get pregnant soon.dont forget to tell me if u finally get pregnan:)
@_hope_ (3902)
• Australia
14 Dec 06
It must be so dissappointing each month to find that you are not pregnant .i feel for you but sometimes the stress of just trying can prevent you from falling i would be sugesting you and hubby take a holiday and try and put it out of your minds enjoy yourself for a while away from your friends and their bundles of joy .Your time will come and your babies will be everso special because of the added love you have for them . Relax,enjoy and let nature take over .All the best for your future family and much happiness
@nobodyspecial (1011)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Sometimes it is just trying too hard...
I assume you have both been tested viable sperm and open fallopian tubes...
Sometimes fertility has to do with acidity or alkalines in the body.
I know wanting a baby can make it seem like it can be so hopeless, but the simple fact is that want and effort can be the very thing that prevents it from happening.
Relax, enjoy life, love when you feel like love, not on a time schedule or temperature change.
1 person likes this
@SirPyan (429)
• Malaysia
13 Dec 06
Be patient, be strong. I know it can be hard. It happened in my close family itself, several years ago. My aunt and uncle got married, but they can't seem to get a baby, if I'm not mistaken they wait for 3 years, still no results. The doctor said there is no problem with them, probably not their turn yet. So they decided to adopt a child, a baby boy. Guess what, a year later the aunt got pregnant and managed to give birth to a baby girl. 2 years later, they got another boy. Now they got 3 kids. :)
Just don't give up hope. Have you try seeking consultant from doctors? They probably can help you.
@aboutlostit (126)
• United States
13 Dec 06
keep your head up you two will get though it just keep being posetive it will all turn out right
1 person likes this
@maia54 (18)
• Philippines
14 Dec 06
Well I guess you have to see an OB both of you so you would know what's wrong with you guys or maybe its just the timing. Have you tried the fertility calculator? Try it, maybe it can help you because it helps me. If not, you have to see a doctor.
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I got pregnant the month after we stopped stressing about it so much.
You could also go to the Dr and get a check up, both of you, to make sure everything is functioning correctly. You could get hormone injections to encourage egg maturation. With that there is a risk of multiple births. You could do in vitro but that is expensive and also risks multiples.
I wish you the best of luck. Try to relax and let it happen.
@GrammaFood (716)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Because your so worried about it your body is feeling the stress and thats why it might not be happening. I know it's hard but if you quit thinking about it your body and hormes and stress levels go down and mother nature will then take her course. My cousins and his wife tried for 11 years and finally gave up,they figured they couldn't have any. the minute she calmed down she got pregant. The following year she gave birth to twins and the following year another one. So after 11 years of trying,she ended up with 4 kids in 3 years time! Good luck and just relax,enjoy the time you and your husband have together because once the baby comes your life isn't yours no more.
@surpluscars (315)
• Philippines
14 Dec 06
i can feel what you're feeling...we tried for almost 2 years...keep yourself healthy and go to the doctor and have both you and your husband checked. that's the best thing. dont let frustration break your heart..dont let your dream consume you..just relax and enjoy the ride *wink*
@jimmythejock (381)
•
14 Dec 06
the only advice that I can give is to just keep trying,enjoy your lovemaking and relax nature will take its course in time,it was 18 months of trying for my wife and i of course i enjoyed the trying part very much lol but we now have three happy healthy children and your time will come soon.
have fun and good luck.....jimmy
