Stress

I'm sorry you are going through this. I, however, DO NOT SUGGEST that you leave your husband. Remember your marriage vows, for better or worse. I had a similar problem, my husband used to treat me like I was a kid and try to verbally chastise me and he thought he was always right. I just sought God. And that is all I recommend you to do. If you need to talk sometimes send me a message on here and I will respond back as soon as I can. I am always logged in so it shouldn't take long. I just said a prayer for you. Before you go please read this. God bless you and your family. Keeping Your Peace When Your Spouse Loses It by Omaudi Reid Colossians 3:15 - ..let the peace of God rule in your heart.. It's the end of the day and your spouse gets home. He or she did not give a smile, a hello, nor a "honey I'm home". The behavior of the kids seems to annoy him or her more than usual, and everything you say or do invites a soul slashing response. Even your best efforts fail. Realizing that your spouse is in a bad mood, you have tried to be cordial, but his or her unkindness is starting to pick your nerves. Evidently,it only takes one negative response to set ablaze the fires of anger. However, in a situation like this, to keep the incident from boiling over, it is crucial that you maintain your peace. Now, I can hear you saying - how do I maintain my peace when my spouse keeps attacking me? How do I keep cool when he or she is getting mad at everybody? How do I keep my peace when my spouse loses it? In any scenario like above, keeping one's peace can make a world of difference in the atmosphere of the home. The peaceful partner prevents a stressful situation from becoming an unhealthy marital conflict; a conflict which not only affects the marriage, but can also negatively affect children. Furthermore through his or her example, the peaceful partner helps the unpeaceful partner regain peacefulness. So let's answer the question - how do I keep my peace. Two things: exercise the fruits of the Spirit, and leave your spouse in the hands of God. The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, endurance, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). When your partner does unkind things, remember that the love you have for him or her is unconditional (despite his or her behavior) Always keep a song of praise to God on your heart, and God's perspective on every situation; this will help you maintain joy and peace in the midst of the stress. As you feel the pressure to give in, exercise endurance - resolve in your heart that you will keep a sweet spirit. In addition, always respond with a gentle voice, and use gentle gestures and body language. Even though he or she may be displaying an ugly attitude, believe for the best things in your spouse by remembering all the attributes you like about him or her. Be understanding - put yourself in your spouse's shoes; perhaps he or she was faced with overwhelming circumstances throughout the day. And after all is done, exercise self-control - hold your tongue from speaking destructively, and don't allow negative emotions to overtake you. These things may sound hard to do, but if you always remain prayerful, and keep your mind on pleasant things by meditating on God and His Word (The Bible), the Holy Spirit will help you to exercise these things. There is no guarantee as to how long your spouse will keep that mean attitude. He or she may continue being grouchy. While making sure you are not adding to the problem, leave him or her in the hands of God. Ask the Lord to give you the strength to remain peaceful; and to convict and comfort your spouse by His Holy Spirit. By maintaining your peace, and committing your spouse to God, you will be amazed at the difference God will make.

Im sorry for you dear. I dont know if you have any support where you are. By support I mean perhaps safe houses, family, friends, anyone who can help you leave this man. I know it's hard, but so is the rest of life. If your child(ren) grow up around this guy they will become what he is, just as he may have become what his family were. He is a very insecure man who is afraid of being alone, and losing control of his life. He cant get through a day unless he feels control of his environment. Everytime he is yelling at you and/or the kids he is deflecting his inadequacies in himself on you guys. It's isnt fair, or right. But this has been his whole life and he won't change. So unless you get out the only future I see for you (and I have had experience seeing this first hand) is eventually he will progress to physical assault on you and probably the children if he doesn't get stopped. My recommendation is plan to pack and go. If you want to save the relationship then some serious counselling must be done, while you are living somewhere else.

i'm sorry with your stressful live.its not easy to survive with that kind of situation.no one will be able to change ur husband becoz the thought and behaviour already attached strong in his mind.you should try to talk about this slowly with him and tell him how much he has make you and the kids depressed.or try counseling.if its not working then maybe u got to hv the courage to left him for the sake of u and ur kids.becoz not good for ur kids to grow up in that kind of family, they might grow up like ur husband without knowing how to love.dont let ur stress stop u for having a calm thought of what to do

spend more time with your husband. Try to make him understand you and you also listen to his concerns, that can settle the things..

What I feel is you should kick your husbands butt.

You don't say how many children you have or how old they are. Also, are you housebound? It sounds as if he is a control freak. It also sounds like he is undermining you constantly and that this is taking a big toll on your self esteem. You sound worn out. Did you ever suggest professional help such as counselling or mediation to him? Perhaps a third person looking in from the outside would be able to see exactly what way you two communicate and advise both of you. If he won't go for counselling, then if I were you I would go to assertiveness training and try to decide on the next step.

to come out of stress u better do some meditation. thank u.

Do not worry friedn everybody goes thorugh stress nowadays and everybody has to bear it just stay cool

As Dr. Phil would say, "You teach people how to treat you." If you don't like the way he is treating you, say, "Excuse me?!" and then clearly state, "You are not going to talk to me like that unless you want to do your own cooking, your own laundry . . . " or whatever! lol. I am sure you are good at standing up for yourself. Just come right out and tell him you are not going to allow negative behavior in your home or in front of your children any longer and he had better straighten up and fly right! You go, girl!!!!

Husband is always like that I noticed also that to alot of couples but maybe you should always think of some good things happened to you or treat yourself often to ease your stress. For instace dont do the things you dont want to do but you need to do that way you are treating yourself.

Stress management encompasses techniques intended to equip a person with effective coping mechanisms for dealing with psychological stress. Definition of stress: Stress management defines stress precisely as a person's physiological response to an internal or external stimulus that triggers the "fight-or-flight" reaction.

My first question is why did you marry someone like this? And secondly i would like to say that you can always get yourself together and quietly make plans to leave because life is short and you don't need to live it in a stressful situation.

Clearly has to do with his upbringing which is very sad. you and your children now have to take the brunt of what he has had to endure all these years. i would take it as a learning process with him, talk-communication is so vital in a relationship, team-work - you're a team, he should realise that. you are there to complement each other and grow together, not 1 superior to teh other. surely he wants a better life for his family and not what he had. life is not about holding grudges and being bitter all the time. the only way for you all to prosper is for him to want it as well. otherwise it'll be like talking to a brick! good luck.....

Well, that's a tough situation. Though I'm not into parenthood I know how heavy your burden is. I have a question. Did you prepare yourself to this kind of consequence before you get married? Of course for a fact that nobody wants to be belittle or just look at us as a junk or a house accessory by our love ones. How do you face life having this kind of anxiety? In my point of view, if it'll comes to the point that your husband no longer prioritize your family, well you should be keen and do some transitions to knock his head off. Try to inject ih his mind that individual difference thing exists! He should learn how to adopt his self with other people not just to cling in with his self righteous thing (it's kinda non sense). Not because his the bread winner of your family, he has the right to command or become bossy. Being a good husband and a father takes great responsibility. Why don't you try to have a heart to heart talk with him and learn not to argue if ever he's a short tempered type. And if you can't please him then make up your mind and inroduce your plan B.

You must talk to him or atleast take counselling together, I hate separation but if you still cannot make him see sense then I guess you must take a decision and without leaving him and can try for a solution you must go out and work that keeps you occupied just ignore your husband do you duties and be nice and polite to him but to all his complaining you make your self deaf, then you make your self busy work go shopping take your children out, do everything to fight stress, You need to be good health mentally and physically to take care of your children, but learn to trust in God, share your problems with god after pouring out you must shut it out of your mind, its eaSIER Said then done, but you try it will work, learn to shut out any thoughts that lead to depression.God will help you

you should not take stress as too much stress ihas very harmful effects like---- A person who is stressed typically has anxious thoughts and difficulty concentrating or remembering. Stress can also change outward behaviors. Teeth clenching, hand wringing, pacing, nail biting, and heavy breathing are common signs of stress. People also feel physically different when they are stressed. Butterflies in the stomach, cold hands and feet, dry mouth, and increased heart rate are all physiological effects of stress that we associate with the emotion of anxiety.

Its very sad thing that ur husband behaves in such a rude manner with u...i can understand ur feelings and how u r facing ur life. If he owns three cars then he must be a rich person...then why dont u keep ur children in any hostel or some place like that that where they r not affected by these disturbances..n coming to ur point its surely a good thing to seek a councellor. If u have any relatives in ur area u can also talk to them n express ur feelings to them..who knows they may help u out. And also try to talk to him calmly show him how much u love and care him, he may change.

Communication is key to any healthy relationship. Try expressing thoughts to him and tell him how you feel deep down inside. Ask him how he would feel if you were nagging all day.

Well, I think you should first of all remember you must protect the develpement of your kids. They shoudl not be constantly critisised, as this will affect on their psychological development and then on the entire life. If that what your husband does it is wrong up to you in what it concerns also your kids, then try to explain it to your husband this way or finally just go away for a peaceful life.

know exactly what u mean. My partner is controlling and thinks the world revolves around him. My job is stressful and i am always short of money.